Sophia Blackwell

Meet history's original keyboard warrior—except with quills, imprisonment, and better one-liners.

This book delivers a hilarious and irreverent guide to Voltaire, the 18th-century French philosopher who trolled kings, priests, and fellow intellectuals with such devastating wit that he had to flee across national borders multiple times to avoid imprisonment.

With her signature blend of historical accuracy and merciless mockery, Blackwell explores how this chronically exiled troublemaker:

Wrote 20,000+ letters and countless books while constantly claiming "I never wrote that" when authorities came knocking

Became obscenely wealthy through lottery schemes and investments while criticizing the excesses of the rich

Created the template for modern political satire while getting beaten up by noblemen's servants

Championed religious tolerance while writing things about various faiths that would get him immediately canceled today

Cultivated a philosophical garden that somehow became the most passive-aggressive gardening advice in history

Whether you're a philosophy student drowning in dry academic texts, a history buff who prefers their Enlightenment with a side of snark, or just someone who appreciates the art of the perfectly crafted insult, this book reveals how Voltaire's brand of eloquent provocation changed Europe forever—and created the template for everyone from Jon Stewart to your most annoying Twitter mutual.

By the end, you'll understand why we still can't stop quoting this insufferable French genius nearly 250 years after his death, and you'll have mastered the fine art of insulting people so eloquently they're not sure if they've been complimented.

Cogito Ergo Nope

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