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Chris Gethard

Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

A proudly unpredictable mom calls to talk with Gethard about errant mouth bones, thrift-store vendettas, and escaping a fundamentalist upbringing. Plus: dead snakes, a dilapidated chicken coop, and a toddler determined to keep all of us on our toes.
 
 Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows.
 
Text BEAUTIFUL to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.
 
Head to Talkiatry.com/BEAUTIFUL to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.
 
To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to MINTMOBILE.com/beautiful
 
See what's hiding in your closet, you might be surprised how much you can earn with Vinted. download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees, and for a limited time, enjoy free shipping in the US.
 
Right now, save 25% on your first order at Zazzle.com.

A Proudly Unpredictable Human Being

Losing her job wasn't exactly the plan, but it gave this caller the reset she needed. She talks with Geth about ADHD, burnout, GenAI, and just how much drama happens offstage in community theater.
 
Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows, including This Helps Day in San Diego featuring Dinosaur Improv.
 
You can try VeryVery Good Tea yourself by using code BEAUTIFUL for $5 off your first purchase at veryverygoodtea.com
 
Upgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/beautiful with code beautiful.
 
Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/beautiful to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.
 
Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/beautiful. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

I Didn't Come Here to Win

It's Friday, and we've finally caught up.
 
All week, we've been following the Prison Bound caller from the original 2018 episode through three follow-ups recorded during her time in federal prison. Today, six years after our last conversation, we hear from her again.
 
This is an all-new call, and, after eight years, what feels like the final chapter of one of the longest-running stories in a decade of Beautiful Anonymous.
 
If you've been with us all week, you know how much ground we've covered to get here. If you've been with the show since 2018, you know how long we've been waiting for this one.
 
Here's the final follow-up with the caller we first knew as Prison Bound.
 
 Touch Tone listeners get exclusive access to 5 Random Questions with this caller. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio.
 
Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows, including This Helps Day in San Diego featuring Dinosaur Improv.

Prison Bound Week: Day 5 - Eight Years Later

It's Thursday, and Prison Bound Week is almost caught up to the present.
 
We started on Monday with the original 2018 call, then followed the caller through two check-ins from inside federal prison. Today's episode comes from October 2020, as she was getting close to release. Right in the middle of COVID. It's a firsthand snapshot of what that moment looked and felt like from inside a federal prison.
 
 Like the other follow-ups this week, this call originally lived on Stitcher Premium, so there's a good chance you've never heard it before.
 
Tomorrow, we get to the reason we're doing all of this: an all-new conversation with the Prison Bound caller, six years later.
 
But today, we hear what life was like for our caller in the fall of 2020.
 
Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows, including This Helps Day in San Diego featuring Dinosaur Improv.
 
Right now, Babbel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to Babbel.com/BEAUTIFUL.
 
Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/beautiful to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.
 
Visit upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.
 
Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty-five dollars.

Prison Bound Week: Day 4 - COVID Lockdown

It's Wednesday, and Prison Bound Week continues.
 
We started Monday with the original 2018 call, and yesterday we heard from our caller nine months into her sentence. Today's follow-up comes from October 2019, about halfway through her time in federal prison.
 
These follow-ups originally aired on Stitcher Premium, which means a lot of you have never heard them before. We'll keep following the story tomorrow, then on Friday we'll hear from the Prison Bound caller again in an all-new conversation. 
 
 And for our Touch Tone subscribers, you'll get exclusive access to her turn answering our 5 Random Questions. 
 
For now, here's where things stood at the halfway mark.
 
Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows, including This Helps Day in San Diego featuring Dinosaur Improv.
 
Right now, Babbel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to Babbel.com/BEAUTIFUL.
 
Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/beautiful to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.
 
Visit upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.
 
Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty-five dollars.

Prison Bound Week: Day 3 - Halfway Through

It's Tuesday, which is normally when you get your weekly episode of Beautiful Anonymous, but this week, we're doing things differently.
 
Yesterday, we went back to the original "Prison Bound" call from 2018. Today, we're checking in with the caller nine months into her federal prison sentence.
 
A heads-up: this one is short. These calls were coming from inside prison, and we were figuring out the logistics as we went. But this is just one piece of a much bigger story: you're getting a whole week of follow-ups, including three calls that most listeners have never heard before, leading up to an all-new conversation with our Prison Bound caller on Friday.
 
Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows, including This Helps Day in San Diego featuring Dinosaur Improv.
 
Right now, Babbel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to Babbel.com/BEAUTIFUL.
 
Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/beautiful to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.
 
Visit upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.
 
Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty-five dollars.

Prison Bound Week: Day 2 - Nine Months In

Yes, it's Monday. Yes, Beautiful Anonymous is in your feed a day early. We're doing something a little different this week.
 
 Eight years ago, a caller phoned Beautiful Anonymous four days before reporting to federal prison. The episode became one of the most memorable (and divisive) calls in the history of the show.
 
Now we're going back to the beginning. All week, we'll follow the Prison Bound caller's story through years of follow-ups most listeners have never heard, ending Friday with a brand-new conversation and the conclusion of a story we've been sharing since 2018.
 
It's the kind of thing that could probably only happen on this show. Here's where it started.
 
Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows, including This Helps Day in San Diego featuring Dinosaur Improv.

Prison Bound Week: Day 1 - The First Call

A sixth-degree black belt calls from a hacker convention to talk ham radio, phone phreaking, off-grid networks, hacking E-ZPass (fine, theoretically), and whether Chinese and Russian hackers already know your mom's maiden name.
 
 Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
 Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows, including This Helps Day in San Diego featuring Dinosaur Improv.
 
Sleep cooler this summer with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/beautiful with code beautiful.
 
Text BEAUTIFUL to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.
 
Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/beautiful. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.
 
Head to Talkiatry.com/BEAUTIFUL to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.
 
Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/BEAUTIFUL
 
Right now, save 25% on your first order at Zazzle.com.

Hacker Tendencies at a Hacker Convention

This week's caller has a full-time job, a toddler, and somehow also helps run an anime convention in their spare (lol) time. Gethard gets a crash-course in anime as he talks with our caller about what happens when the thing you love starts becoming a whole lot of work. Plus, an energetic 18-month-old brings some adorable kid chaos to the call.
 

 
Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
 Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows.
 
Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/beautiful to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.
 
To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to MINTMOBILE.com/beautiful
 
When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get fifteen dollars off your first task at Taskrabbit.com or on the Taskrabbit app using promo code BEAUTIFUL.
 
 You can try VeryVery Good Tea yourself by using code BEAUTIFUL for $5 off your first purchase at veryverygoodtea.com
 
Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
 Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows.
 
Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/beautiful to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.
 
To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to MINTMOBILE.com/beautiful
 
When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get fifteen dollars off your first task at Taskrabbit.com or on the Taskrabbit app using promo code BEAUTIFUL.
 
 You can try VeryVery Good Tea yourself by using code BEAUTIFUL for $5 off your first purchase at veryverygoodtea.com

This One Is NOT About Avatar: The Last Airbender

This week's caller had an encounter with a psychic that is tailor-made for Beautiful/Anonymous. She tells Gethard that story, shares memories of her free-range '90s childhood, and opens up about an experience from those years that left her with a unique phobia. It might sound a little strange at first, but as she and Geth get into it, we learn just how deeply it still affects her life, to this day.
 
 Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week's caller.
 
 Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
 
Head to chrisgeth.com for tickets to Gethard's upcoming shows.
 
 Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn. Plus, for a limited time, enjoy free shipping in the US on Vinted.
 
Sleep cooler this summer with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/beautiful with code beautiful.
 
Text BEAUTIFUL to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.
 
Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/beautiful. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.
 
 Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free.

Gratuitous Live Turkeys

"If anybody has seen hell, it would be me." What starts as an immigrant success story ends up weaving through prostitution, revenge, tragedy, sexuality, morality and religion. Note that this episode contains difficult topics including sexual violence.
 

 

 
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and HBO's Crashing.

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