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Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment

How To Fail with Elizabeth Day is a podcast that celebrates the things in life that haven’t gone right and what we might learn from them along the way. Every week, Elizabeth’s guest explores three failures, and what these failures have taught them about how to grow and succeed, better.

We’d love to hear from you! Get in touch with Elizabeth to share your failures, problems or questions - anonymously or otherwise. She'll go through these each week with the help of her very special guests. And remember: a fail shared is a fail halved. https://forms.sonymusicfans.com/campaign/how-to-fail-uk-2023/

An Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Original Production. 
Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow @sonypodcasts 
To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

You might think you know about Malala. But you’d be wrong. For so many years, she stood as a symbol of resistance: the teenage girl who was shot by the Taliban for insisting on the right to go to school and who later won the Nobel Prize at 17 for her efforts to make education available for everyone. 

But there was another story that existed behind the headlines: the story of a young woman who was only just understanding who she was. Now 28, Malala has published a new book, Finding My Way which describes some of that extraordinary journey. 

In this episode we discuss her panic attack after smoking a bong at Oxford (and how this retriggered undiagnosed PTSD), what friendship taught her, her views on marriage and how they’ve changed, as well as the sadness she carries for Afghanistan and all the women who are denied an education around the world. Plus: how she fell in love with a hot cricketer.

This is such a powerful conversation and Malala is also funny, warm and incredibly wise. You will laugh. You might cry. But whatever happens, you’ll emerge with a new perspective on life. 

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

01:27 Recovery and Continued Education

05:12 College Life and First Experiences

07:03 Mental Health and Panic Attack

11:09 Academic Struggles and Social Life

17:48 Reflections on Friendship and Cultural Pressures

26:02 Reflecting on Nasin's (her cousin’s) Struggles

27:49 Reflections on Life Choices

30:14 Marriage: A Journey of Doubts and Discoveries

31:47 Redefining Marriage Norms

34:36 Contemplating Motherhood

37:04 The Fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban

44:27 Global Crises and Personal Reflections

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

I realised that my learning was not limited to just reading articles and books. It's really your friends who make you comfortable because they don't judge you. They don't see you with any title. They see you beyond all of that.

What you wear is your choice. Nobody should be deciding that for you and we need to give more freedom to women to make these decisions for themselves and respect their decisions… It is okay to question these things to take your time, and in the end, whatever decision you make for yourself, that is your choice.

The fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban is a story of failure to me, failure of all of us.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

The Malala Fund - www.malala.org 

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

📚 WANT MORE?

Greta Thunberg - Greta talked about her inability to be a “normal teenager”, her frustration with the lack of political action on the climate crisis, and how she copes with being thrust into the global spotlight. http://swap.fm/l/GretaThunberg

Kazuo Ishiguro - a fellow Nobel Laureate talks about outsidership, writing The Remains of the Day and why he’ll never forget a toy chicken. https://link.chtbl.com/zu0kLq-0 

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Elizabeth and Malala answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com 

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan 

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Carly Maile

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Malala Yousafzai - I Am Not Who You Think I Am

Welcome back to this How to Fail episode where we journey through the archive to revisit some of the best bits. This week we’re keeping it light and taking a look at some of the funniest and most entertaining embarrassing moments on How to Fail. 

You’ll hear from Phoebe Waller-Bridge, originally released in July 2018. Phoebe talks about trying to impress Meryl Streep and her body sort of malfunctioned… involving an apple crumble!

Then we hear from Dan Levy, from his original episode in January 2024. Dan talks about his birthday cake failure from his childhood and the humiliation at his knee-jerk response. I hope this episode brings some light to your day and reminds us that everyone experiences embarrassment at some point! 

Listen to Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s full episode of How to Fail here: https://link.chtbl.com/Xr_yQtIZ

Listen to Dan Levy’s full episode of How to Fail here: https://play.megaphone.fm/b0cje4y2thgpbbpms2q64w

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

ON EMBARRASSING MOMENTS… With Dan Levy and Phoebe Waller-Bridge

We have a bonafide legend on How To Fail: the American singer, songwriter, guitarist, actor and philanthropist who, along with his band, sold more than 130 million albums and performed in over 50 countries for more than 40 million fans before being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It’s ACTUAL Jon Bon Jovi - the frontman of the world-dominating rock band who released hits such as You Give Love A Bad Name, Blaze of Glory and Livin’ On A Prayer. 

In this conversation we talk about his life-changing vocal cord surgery, burnout, his faith, friendship with Bruce Springsteen and how being a father has taught him he’s ‘not the boss of anything anymore’. Plus: the key to a successful marriage from a rock star who has been with his childhood sweetheart, Dorethea, for 36 years! He’s charming, quick-witted and yes, that famous smile still lights up the room.

Bon Jovi is back with the album ‘Forever (Legendary Edition)’ featuring collaborations with Bruce Springsteen, Robbie Williams, Avril Lavigne, James Bay and many more. The band’s Forever Tour will kick off next year, with dates in America and Europe.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

07:01 The Making of 'Living on a Prayer'

11:29 Vocal Surgery and Recovery

20:50 Reflections on Faith and Philanthropy

27:41 Challenges of Touring

28:19 The Performance Experience

29:43 Reflections on Fame

30:54 A Long-lasting Marriage

34:19 Parenting and Family Life

36:17 Friendship with Bruce Springsteen

41:20 Fashionista Failures

46:21 Wisdom and Aging

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

‘Fame is a liar and a thief. It would be easy and understandable for many a person to have fallen victim to it... it doesn't care who you are. It can break you.’

Jon on his wife, Dorethea: ‘She's a complete sentence. She's a one word complete sentence: Everything.’

‘I’m not doing this for the fame, or for the money - but I would like to feel that joy and resonance - I don’t think I’m anywhere near a farewell tour.’

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Jon’s tour dates and new album can be found here: jonbonjovi.komi.io

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

📚 WANT MORE?

Shania Twain - opens up with raw honesty about the childhood poverty and trauma she overcame, the vocal-cord surgery and derailment of her career, and how embracing her ‘scars’ helped her reclaim her voice, femininity and power. https://play.megaphone.fm/cgztqicuqzic6lu1d75lka 

Bonnie Tyler - explores Bonnie’s journey through fame, her reflections on loss, self-worth and perseverance. https://play.megaphone.fm/sypubqbptvggdcsrbju0pw 

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Elizabeth and Jon answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com 

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan 

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Carly Maile

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jon Bon Jovi - Fame is a liar and a thief

Body image is a common theme on How to Fail. It’s something everyone at some point has either struggled with personally, or knows someone who has. 

We hear from Paloma Faith on the topic - she speaks about being thrown out of ballet school aged 10, because she showed signs of becoming curvy, and that wasn’t the correct body for a ballet dancer. 

Then we go to a part of my conversation with the incredible British sitting volleyball player, Martine Wright. Martine lost both of her legs in the 7/7 London bombings in 2005 and speaks so eloquently about how she actually wouldn’t change anything. She is now a mother, a wife, a charity ambassador, certified pilot and the recipient of an MBE. 

I hope this episode offers comfort to anyone who’s ever struggled with body image and acts as a reminder that there’s beauty in every version of ourselves.

Listen to Martine Wright’s full episode of How to Fail here: https://play.megaphone.fm/c1ou6g8zq3ankh8y2boutg 

Listen to Paloma Faith’s full episode of How to Fail here: https://play.megaphone.fm/zl1lqe-ht3mcpkqkbuo9ha 

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

www.martinewright.co.uk

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

ON BODY IMAGE… With Martine Wright and Paloma Faith

You might know Denise from Coronation Street, Waterloo Road, or as the winner of Celebrity Big Brother in 2012 and a regular panelist on ITV’s flagship panel chat show, Loose Women, or remember when she won Celebrity Big Brother in 2012. 

But what you might not know is the extraordinary story that shaped the strong woman she is. It’s a story of addiction, depression, tabloid phone-hacking and the darker side of fame. It’s also the story of sobriety, recovery and the surreality of having survived post-natal psychosis to become the mother of one of the famous musical frontmen in the world: Matty Healy of The 1975.

In this beautifully candid conversation, Denise opens up about surviving the toughest times but knowing how to celebrate the good ones (and yes, she does give us the inside scoop on being a guest at Charli XCX’s wedding).

This episode is a testament to working-class grit and finding light at the end of the tunnel while never losing your sense of humour. I hope you take as much from it as I did. WE LOVE YOU, DENISE!

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

02:16 Being a 'Hun' and Social Media Fame

04:32 Family and The 1975

09:03 First Failure: Domestic Goddess

14:28 ADHD Diagnosis and Mental Health

18:34 Second Failure: Getting Sober

28:01 Hormonal Chaos and Early Struggles

28:55 Postnatal Depression

30:04 The Depths of Depression

31:15 Mental Health Advocacy

34:07 The Song 'She Lays Down'

38:43 Struggles with Alcoholism

42:21 Finding Sobriety and Love

48:31 A New Chapter in Acting

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

If someone said to me: “You need to lose a limb and if you do, you will never have depression again,” I would have offered both arms like that. And to be honest, I still would.

Depression is the inability to feel extreme sadness. You can't feel happiness, sadness…nothing. It depresses everything about your life.

Giving up alcohol didn't cure my depression, but it stopped compounding it.

I don't believe there is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic because you are physically going to work, but you are functioning on about 10% of your capability.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

AA: www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

📚 WANT MORE?

ON ADDICTION… With Mae Martin and Marian Keyes - an episode that weaves together two powerful conversations about addiction and recovery, exploring how both guests confronted their struggles, rejected shame and ultimately found hope and purpose on the other side. https://play.megaphone.fm/ew3m8bdot1athsleg0xf6a 

Joe Wickes - the fitness coach opens up about growing up with family addiction, how exercise became his refuge and the challenges of staying consistent, compassionate and balanced in both life and parenting. https://play.megaphone.fm/0ii1ky7wtgsnxvxmdo7iwq

Malcolm Gladwell - the bestselling author confesses to ‘failing’ to help a friend with alcoholism. https://play.megaphone.fm/jsbf9r5qr9ophi0vvbornq

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Elizabeth and Denise answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com 

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan 

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Carly Maile

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Denise Welch - I Got Sober For Love

I’m diving into the back catalogue, bringing you moments of insight, laughter and truth from past guests. These themed episodes are a chance to reflect on the universal experiences that connect us all.

This week we’re looking at school and those formative years that shape who we become. You’ll hear from actor Jamie Dornan, originally released in November 2020. Jamie and I went to the same school(!) and discuss what those years taught us.

Then we hear from Senator Bernie Sanders, from his original episode in March 2023. Bernie opens up about being rejected from his high school basketball team and how that early setback taught him resilience. I hope this episode reminds you that school isn’t just about exams or rules, it’s about the people, the lessons, and sometimes the failures that stay with us long after the bell rings.

Listen to Jamie Dornan’s full episode of How to Fail here: https://play.megaphone.fm/6_7a8c2otds3j72e9md4ea 

Listen to Bernie Sanders’ full episode of How to Fail here: https://play.megaphone.fm/bwz0irc7qmiwmmsczajzew 

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

ON SCHOOL… With Jamie Dornan and Bernie Sanders

Charlotte Church is currently starring in the first ever series of BBC One’s Celebrity Traitors. But she first found global fame as the young classical singer with the voice of an angel. By 22, she had sold 10 million records and performed for popes, presidents and princes. The success came at a devastating personal cost - here, she tells us what really happened and how she found her way into what is arguably her most powerful iteration yet: her healing phase.

This episode was recorded live in Bath earlier this year. 

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

06:33 Reconnecting with Nature

08:55 Psychedelic Experiences and Healing

10:31 Creative Struggles and Musical Journey

16:38 Reflections on the Music Industry

21:09 Family and Ambitions

21:33 Struggles with Patriarchy and Colonialism

22:30 The Symbolism of Tattoos

24:13 Understanding Patriarchy

29:57 Challenges in the Music Industry

31:28 Personal Identity

34:39 Embracing the Wild Woman Archetype

40:08 Balancing Fame and Personal Beliefs

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

There's no two ways about it: I was not looked after, I was not nurtured, I was just totally exploited. I was a commodity and the industry was incredibly razor sharp. 

What makes us advance, is suffering.

I'm dreaming of a world where everybody can start to feel what balance truly feels like.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Charlotte is starring in Celebrity Traitors on BBC One

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

📚 WANT MORE?

Tom Daley - discusses overcoming perfectionism, anxiety, and the fear of failure. He also shares how failure shaped his resilience and coping strategies - like knitting! https://play.megaphone.fm/deiztbmwsrw-vz5by9ajtw 

Claudia Winkleman - talks hilariously about her dislike of perfectionism, her introversion, struggles with sleep and the challenges of living in the present. https://play.megaphone.fm/cszzpxoqqb6_jx2furt7ba

Paloma Faith - reflects on her experiences with rejection and self‑judgment, struggling to conceive, and the tension between her public persona and inner vulnerabilities. https://play.megaphone.fm/rq-vrlg6sla2hyboi6znkq 

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

Elizabeth and Charlotte answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com 

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

Live Engineer: Will Kontargyris

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan 

Sound Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Carly Maile

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Charlotte Church - ‘I was totally exploited. I was a commodity’

Welcome back to this How to Fail special, where we revisit powerful moments from the archive that offer insight, perspective and - hopefully - a sense of comfort during life’s more difficult chapters.

This week, to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week (9th to 15th October) and Elizabeth’s new role as ambassador for The Miscarriage Association, we're reflecting on two deeply moving conversations that explore miscarriage, fertility struggles and the resilience required to endure them.

First, you'll hear from Sara Pascoe, who speaks openly about the heartbreak of miscarriage and the anxiety that followed during her IVF journey and eventual pregnancies.

Then we turn to Trinny Woodall, who shares her experience of multiple miscarriages and nine rounds of IVF before the birth of her daughter. Trinny’s story is one of extraordinary strength, persistence and hope.

Whether you're personally affected or simply listening with empathy, I hope these stories bring you comfort, connection or a new perspective.

Listen to Sara Pascoe’s full episode of How to Fail here: https://play.megaphone.fm/czmoofleqk6brln-hzfzqw 

Listen to Trinny Woodall’s full episode of How to Fail here: https://play.megaphone.fm/cubcpqghs06qmd5_v64wgq 

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

The Miscarriage Association: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk 

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

ON BABY LOSS… With Sara Pascoe and Trinny Woodall

Warning: this episode may contain MIND-BLOWING moments. 

Stephen Grosz is a practising psychoanalyst and a personal hero of mine. He has worked with patients for more than 45 years and his first book, The Examined Life, drew on these experiences. When it was published in 2013, it caused a sensation and went straight to number one in the Sunday Times bestseller list. Since then, hundreds of thousands of readers, including me, have taken it to our hearts.

Now 12 years on from his debut, Grosz is back with Love's Labour, which asks fundamental questions around how to love and be loved in return, drawing on his almost half a century of clinical expertise.

In this episode we discuss why real love causes suffering, why failed marriages are often the best kind, the difference between surrender and submission in relationships, why loss has to be part of being human and how we can be happy. Plus: a fascinating peek into what it’s like to be a psychoanalyst when I get to ask ‘are you ever annoyed by your clients?’

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

02:28 Understanding Attachment to Suffering

04:25 The Role of Denial in Our Lives

06:32 Failures and Self-Perception

07:23 Stephen's Childhood 

21:46 The Power of Unconscious Signals

25:24 Navigating Change and Loss

26:25 The Anxiety of Letting Go

28:22 The Price of Love

29:23 Writing from the Heart

30:16 Support Systems 

32:27 Family Dynamics and Psychoanalysis

36:51 Surrender vs. Submission

45:25 Understanding Pain and Grief

48:25 Final Thoughts and Farewell

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

The aim of life is to see oneself clearly, and the world clearly.

Psychoanalysis is two people not knowing - together. We have to figure it out together, and that means both of us will make mistakes and I will get it wrong.

These failures brought me embarrassment, unhappiness, and pain. I wouldn't wish them away.

Real love is going to hurt

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Stephen’s new book - Loves Labour: www.stephengrosz.com 

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

📚 WANT MORE?

Dr Nicole LePera - The Holistic Psychologist sheds light on life’s struggles: https://link.chtbl.com/Tlf5L5Jb 

Emma Reed Turrell - the psychotherapist and author joins Elizabeth to discuss people-pleasing and the art of setting boundaries: https://link.chtbl.com/zthtQyEm 

Alain de Botton - the famed philosopher on how to love and be loved: https://link.chtbl.com/RBaS4VUy 

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

Elizabeth and Stephen answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com 

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com 

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan 

Sound Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Carly Maile

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. 

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Stephen Grosz - ‘Real love is going to hurt’

Today, we remember and celebrate the extraordinary life of Jilly Cooper, who has sadly passed away at the age of 88. A literary icon, Jilly captured hearts and imaginations with her wit, warmth, and unmistakable voice. Her novels, especially beloved titles like Riders and Rivals, sold over 11 million copies in the UK alone and most recently inspired the hit Disney+ adaptation that introduced her work to a whole new generation.

I had the immense privilege of speaking with Jilly just last October. She was everything I’d hoped she would be - funny, sharp, generous and inspiring. Today, in tribute to her legacy and the joy she brought to so many, I’m honoured to share the conversation with you again.

___________________________________________________________________

Dame Jilly Cooper. What a legend. For the uninitiated (where have you been?) she’s a journalist and author most famous for her bestselling Rutshire Chronicle series which includes Riders, Polo and Rivals - the latter of which has now made into a hugely popular TV series starring David Tennant, Danny Dyer and Katherine Parkinson. In the past, Dame Jilly’s books have been unfairly dismissed as mere ‘bonkbusters’, charting the sex lives of the upper classes. But, as I discover, there’s much more to both her writing - and to her. We talk about her failures with technology, why she wishes she could throw more things away, as well as the terrifying time she lost an entire manuscript on the number 28 bus and had to rewrite it. Plus her experiences of interviewing Margaret Thatcher, her friendship with the Queen, her obsession with beautiful people and ‘macho men’ - and why she’d wholeheartedly recommend adoption to others.

Thank you Dame Jilly. A total sport (but we knew that).

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Remembering Dame Gili Cooper

03:43 Personal Reflections and Literary Success

07:37 Exploring Themes of Masculinity and Beauty

10:15 Family, Loss, and Resilience

11:28 Failures and Fertility Challenges

21:18 Dieting and Body Image

25:12 Interviewing Margaret Thatcher

26:46 Technical Challenges and Writing Process

30:27 Friendship and Social Media

🔗 LINKS:

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

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Jilly Cooper: On Failure, Love and Literature

Arlo Parks is a singer, songwriter and poet. Her debut album, Collapsed in Sunbeams was released when she was just 21 and earned her two Grammy nominations, a BRIT Award and the Mercury Music Prize. Her second, My Soft Machine, came out earlier this year. This month also marks the publication of her first volume of poetry, The Magic Border, a collection of never-before-seen poems and song lyrics.
Parks joins me to talk about her faiure to create a perfect piece of work, her failure to save others, her failure to fit into what other people think of her - and why Phoebe Bridgers epitomises 'big brother energy'. I loved talking to this beautiful human - her thoughtfulness and her lyrical expression will soothe you and make you think.
Enjoy!

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Arlo's poetry collection, The Magic Border, is out now.

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I'm going on tour! To AUSTRALIA, mate! You can now purchase tickets to see me live at Sydney Opera House on 26th February 2024 or the Arts Centre Melbourne on 28th February 2024.

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How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is hosted and produced by Elizabeth Day. To contact us, email howtofailpod@gmail.com

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

How To Fail @howtofailpod

Arlo Parks @arlo.parks
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S18, Ep4 Arlo Parks on the impossibility of perfection

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