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The Angry Therapist

Audio-Only Episodes. Captain’s Log: No guests. No fluff. Just me, the mic, and whatever’s clawing at my insides. Think audio journaling meets back-of-the-bar confessions. Less psychobabble, more soul bleed. Raw, real, and mostly for me.

Audio + Video Episodes. You ask, I riff. Therapy meets real talk. More structure, more insight, more of the good stuff on love, dating, and tools we need to build a healthy relationship. Awesome guests. Less navel-gazing, more crowd-serving. This one’s for you.

The Angry Therapist Podcast

In this part 3 of our Attachment series, therapist Rebecca Prolman joins John Kim to unpack how childhood misattunement wires shame, why anger isn’t the enemy, and how “emotional completion” helps you reclaim the parts you exiled to survive. They explore corrective relationships (why real safety can feel scary), co-regulation for kids, and practical steps to move from fawning to sovereignty.

Key topics & takeaways:

 Shame as a survival strategy that blocks primary emotions (grief/anger)

 Emotional completion: feeling what shame protected so it can release

 Co-regulation vs. punishment/time-outs for children’s anger

 Corrective relationships: safety, grief, and why “boring” can be secure

 Depth sustains attraction; chemistry alone burns out

 Naming early ruptures without making caregivers “villains”

Methods mentioned: NARM — Neuro-Affective Relational Model (Dr. Laurence Heller ).

Resources (as mentioned by Rebecca):

 Try Rebecca’s mini course if you’re new to this work; consider the 5-module course for deeper practice HERE

 Parts 1 HERE & Part 2 of this series HERE

🔗 Follow Rebecca Prolman

Instagram | TikTok | YouTube → @rebeccaprolman

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Attachment Trauma Series PART 3: Healing Shame: Why Safe Love Feels Scary with Rebecca Prolman

John Kim and Rebecca Prolman unpack how childhood attachment wounds and the shame-based adaptations they create - shape adult relationships. They trace core capacities (connection, attunement, trust, autonomy, love/sexuality) and show how co-regulation and healthy boundaries restore intimacy and desire.

Resources mentioned:

 NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model) framework and a 5-module course by Rebecca you can find HERE

 Part 1 of this series HERE

🔗 Follow Rebecca Prolman

Instagram | TikTok | YouTube → @rebeccaprolman

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Attachment Trauma Series PART 2 - Connection, Attunement & the Love/Sex Split with Rebecca Prolman

In Part 1 of this 3-episode series, John Kim and licensed therapist Rebecca Prolman break down attachment trauma in clear, human terms. They unpack emotional neglect, nervous-system dysregulation, the NARM approach (NeuroAffective Relational Model), and why so many of us carry shame that isn’t ours. You’ll learn the core dilemma children face (“stay connected to myself or stay safe in the bond?”), how that shapes adult relationships, and why agency + self-compassion are non-negotiables for healing.

What you’ll learn:

 Attachment trauma vs “big-T” trauma

 Emotional neglect and why it’s so slippery to see

 The core dilemma and how shame gets internalized

 NARM, survival strategies, and nervous-system regulation

 Why we numb (food, sex, alcohol, scrolling)

 Agency: choosing with awareness instead of self-shame

🔗 Follow Rebecca Prolman

Instagram | TikTok | YouTube → @rebeccaprolman

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress 

Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How to Heal From Your Attachment Trauma Series with Rebecca Prolman PART 1

What happens when therapy becomes personal? In this raw and honest conversation, John Kim talks with licensed therapist Rebecca Prolman about her real-life experience of falling for her therapist — and what it taught her about attachment, shame, and healing.

Together they explore the taboo topic of client-therapist attraction, transference and counter-transference, and how therapy can mirror our deepest childhood wounds.

💬 Topics include:

 Why we develop crushes on therapists (and what it really means)

 The difference between a crush and being in love

 How to talk about attraction safely in therapy

 When boundaries blur and healing turns into heartbreak

 Why honesty is the path to repair

✨ Connect with Rebecca Prolman:
Instagram | TikTok | YouTube: @rebeccaprolman

Website: rebeccaprolman.com

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Falling for Your Therapist: Why It Happens & What It Means

In this episode, John dives into some of the most honest, relatable, and raw relationship questions we all face — from managing triggers and attachment styles to knowing when it’s time to let go.
If you’ve ever asked yourself “Am I loving the wrong way?” or “How do I know if this relationship is worth it?” — this one’s for you.

It’s not about perfect love — it’s about real, healthy connection.

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | Are You Loving the Wrong Way?

In this special episode, John Kim brings together five brilliant voices - Amy Chan, Terri Cole, Dene Logan, Vanessa Bennett, and Daniel Stewart - for a raw and honest conversation about love, grief, codependency, and what it really means to grow.

They unpack:

 Turning loss into a wake-up call 🌿

 The biology of heartbreak and trauma bonds ❤️‍🔥

 How to tell if growth is healthy or self-abandonment

 What a “midlife crisis” is really trying to teach us

 Redefining partnership, independence, and self-love

It’s messy, heartfelt, and deeply human - a quilt of wisdom and laughter about what it means to be alive and love in 2025.

Guests:

 Amy Chan – Author of “Breakup Bootcamp” @missamychan

 Terri Cole – Author of “The Boundary Boss” & “Too Much” @terricole

 Dene Logan – Author of “Sovereign Love” @dene.logan

 Vanessa Bennett – Author of “The Motherhood Myth” @vanessabennetttherapy

 Daniel Stewart – Psychotherapist, teacher & musician @minstrelion

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why Losing Everything Can Lead to Your Most Authentic Self

In this week’s episode, John Kim shares a real story about risk, fear, and transformation. What started as a property deal in Costa Rica turned into a profound reminder about the power of mindset.

When we shift from fear to growth, everything changes - from how we love to how we live.

✨ Episode Highlights:

 How a 25-year-old inspired a new way to think about challenges

 Why growth mindset leads to freedom

 Turning your environment into a therapeutic tool

 Living in flow, not fear

Connect with Luis Perez — Costa Rica Real Estate Agent

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luisperezrealestate/

Website: https://perezrealestategroupcr.com/

Whatsapp: wa.me/50683199154

🌴 John’s first Costa Rica Retreat runs Dec 1–5 - built around play, connection, and somatic wellness. Sign up HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You → The Angry Therapist on SubStack

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Living in Flow: Escaping the Fight-or-Flight Loop

There’s a freedom that comes in your 40s that no one warns you about - because it doesn’t come from achievement or success. It comes from shedding.

In this episode, John and Vanessa talk about what it really means to stop giving a f*ck - not in the cynical sense, but in the self-loving one.It’s about choosing your energy wisely, letting go of people and stories that no longer fit, and returning to who you were before the world told you to shrink.

This is the power of midlife clarity. It’s not burnout - it’s rebirth.

In this episode:

 What “not giving a f*ck” really means (hint: it’s not apathy)

 How turning 40 rewires your priorities

 Knowing what’s yours to own - and what’s not

 The end of proving yourself and chasing validation

 Returning to your core self

 The quiet strength of keeping promises to yourself

Mentioned in this episode:

Vanessa’s Inter Compass Academy - coaching through the lens of depth psychology.

Join the next cohort HERE⁠ or learn more about Vanessa HERE

Follow Vanessa on Instagram: @vanessaabennett

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Power of Not Giving a F*ck After 40

What happens when love feels like pressure - when “I’m proud of you” never came? In this honest conversation, John Kim and John Wang, author of Big Asian Energy, talk about growing up with parents who equated love with achievement, and what it takes to finally feel enough on your own terms.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

 The invisible weight of trying to make your parents proud

 Why love often sounds like pressure in achievement-driven families

 The difference between being accepted and truly belonging

 Healing generational patterns of sacrifice and self-doubt

 Redefining success to include joy, rest, and self-worth

📘 John Wang’s book, Big Asian Energy, is available HERE and wherever books are sold.

 👉 Follow John Wang on Instagram @johnwangofficial 

John Wang's Website HERE

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Pressure to Make Them Proud: Letting Go of Conditional Love

In this Q&A, John Kim answers your raw, unfiltered questions about love, attachment, and what it actually takes to build a healthy relationship. From anxious-avoidant dynamics to retroactive jealousy and emotional unavailability — this one gets real. Whether you’re questioning if love should be easy, wondering why your partner won’t commit, or struggling to let go of the past, this episode dives straight into the messy middle — and ends with clarity, honesty, and hope.

Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE

John’s SubStack HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | Love is Better. Not Harder.

In the final episode of The Codependency Series, Vanessa explores the difference between caretaking and caregiving. She discusses the repression of feelings, needs, and wants, and the challenge of knowing and expressing them. She also delves into the fear of loss of attachment, the need for control in relationships, addresses manipulative behavior, weak boundaries, poor communication, and more.

Follow Vanessa on Instagram HERE
Find out more about Vanessa HERE

Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Codependency Series: Codependent Traits (Part 2)

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