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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

It all started with a simple trip to TJ Maxx. Because every great night begins in the clearance aisle. From there, things only went uphill. Hibachi takeout, a Sister Wives marathon, and a little too much saké that led Zach to start one sided beef with TLC network and then continue to DM one of the stars of the show. This week, we unpack our obsession with reality TV drama, a strong opinion on fake “podcasts” that are really just ads disguised as "entertaining clips" or whatever. Then Zachariah tells his own harrowing tale when his stomach betrayed him in a coffee shop. We're talking newly found cough drops, a lawsuit involving a duck on a SeaWorld roller coaster, and our love for the Y2K pop duo ASHNIA. It's a lot, but so are we ;)

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com/camp 

➜ Get up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Jocelyn Solis-Moreira. “Scientists Are One Step Closer to Letting Humans ‘Breathe’ Through Their Butts.” Men’s Health, 24 Oct. 2025.

➜ Nick Papantonis. “Woman Knocked Unconscious by Duck While Riding Roller Coaster, Lawsuit Claims.” WFTV, 28 Oct. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

160 - Sliding Into Sister Wives DMs

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories! First, a camper discovers her boyfriend is a little too close to his twin brother... like… way too close. Then, a heartwarming story about a grandfather sending a message from the other side. And finally, a seemingly innocent April Fools’ Day prank that turned into 17 years of petty revenge and one perfectly evil text.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Start making progress with your money today. Open an account in minutes at Chime.com/CAMP

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Boyfriend & His Twin Are WAY Too Close - Trail Mix #109

This week at camp, we’re recapping our wild tour stops through Nashville, Kansas City, and Chicago. Yes, a honky-tonk woman in an arm sling was hitting on us at the Nashville Dolly Parton rooftop bar. Then we cover the riveting story of a man who spent months convincing Costco to give him their iconic $1.50 hot dog sign, and the Vatican finally returning Indigenous artifacts to Canada. Naturally we spiral into a series of passionate rants about everything from being forced to “pre-save” albums that aren’t even out yet and sandwich shops drowning their food in mayo. UGH! (though Jonathan approves of the mayo-forward recipes lol) We also yearn for the golden age of DVDs with alternate endings, confess our love for reading smut in public, and weigh in on Hayley Williams’ new album drop for Ego Death. Plus a little Zara Larsson appreciation to round things out.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 25% off! Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Michael Gwilliam. “Man Spends Months Convincing Costco to Give Him Iconic $1.50 Hot Dog Sign.” Dexerto, 2024.

➜ Megan Williams. “Indigenous artifacts held in Vatican Museums heading back to Canada.” CBC News, 22 Oct. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

159 - NICE! A Woman in An Arm Sling Hit On Me At The Dolly Parton Statue

In this mini episode we are reading more chaotic listener submitted stories! First up, a camper lets someone change the song... and accidentally uncovers her fiancé’s double life. Then, a hungover college girl runs over a cup of queso in a parking-garage. And finally, a middle-school leadership camp goes completely off the rails thanks to a mouthwash-chugging, money-stealing bunkmate. From cheating scandals to cheesy disasters to unhinged roommates, it’s another handful of Trail Mix you won’t want to miss.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year!

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Shared My Passcode... And My Fiancé - Trail Mix #108

HAPPY HALLOWEEN CAMPERS! This week, we step into the button-eyed world of Coraline for our annual spooky episode! And we're taking you on a journey from the World Worm Charming Championships, to the Taco Bell Ultramarathon! People are literally changing their eye color, Jonathan has Aphantasia, and it's a lot to unpack. Come hang out for Halloween, listen to some unhinged tangents, and meet us in the mess hall to bob for semi-rotten apples!

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Ella Glossop. “Vibrations and Victories at the World Worm Charming Championships.” HUCK Magazine, 5 Sept. 2025.

➜ Luis Prada. “The U.S. Ultramarathon Where Runners Eat Taco Bell for 31 Miles.” VICE, 13 Oct. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

158 - We Have Coraline At Home

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about an empty duplex that had an active weekend, a camper whose bachelorette weekend came with one extra bridesmaid, a camper who learned that while she was watching the house, something was watching her.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Start making progress with your money today. Open an account in minutes at Chime.com/CAMP

➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today. 

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Bridesmaid is A Ghost! (And She Craves Attention) - Trail Mix #107

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed Veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.)

➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.

Works Cited:

➜ Catherine Woulfe. “Let’s Find a Mate for Ned.” New Zealand Geographic. Accessed 21 Oct. 2025.

➜ Robert Mackey. “New California Law Bans Loud Ads on Streaming Services for ‘Peace and Quiet.’” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 7 Oct. 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

157 - We Met The Magic Mike Men

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper finding out that kindness may be costing them their fridge, a story about a camper who learned that some guests never leave, and a tale of a camper who learned crisis management through carbs.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

HELP! My Bestie is Possessed by a Demon! - Trail Mix #106

In this highly emotional episode, Zachariah opens up about the hustle of landing that first big breakout role, while Jonathan pitches his true dream job to the sharks: designing elaborate mini golf courses!! Can you imagine? How freakingg fun. We also dive into the glory of Suite Life legend Kim Rhodes and her HashtagBoyMom MOMMY energy, an off-brand Aura Ring that trapped a man (and his finger) at the airport, and the unbearable pain of plucking nose hairs. Plus so much more, you're so welcome ;)

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Score spooky deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Marcella Baietto. “Philadelphia Cheesemonger Becomes First American to Win First Place in World Cheese Competition.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, 28 Sept. 2025.

➜ Rob Thubron. “Samsung Galaxy Ring Swells and Crushes User’s Finger, Causing Missed Flight and Hospital Visit .” TechSpot, 30 Sept. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

156 - Uh-Oh! Zachariah Can't Act!

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose innocent caffeine fix turned into a lifelong core memory of shame, a camper who gave birth to a celebrity, and became the reluctant face of dairy in her county, and t truly scary story about a camper whose weekend retreat became the reason she’ll never rent a cabin again. 

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dairy Princess Meet and Greet (I Lived It) - Trail Mix #105

Campers, gather ‘round—we’ve unearthed a true relic! While digging around Camp Shady Birch, we stumbled upon a long-lost time capsule: a cassette tape buried inside a shoebox. And what was on it? This very episode (original air date: June 28, 2023) Take a trip back in time with us as we revisit our thoughts on childhood Field Days (and those infamous participation awards), Zachariah’s Cruel Intentions obsession, the wild tale of seven Persian cats inheriting a mansion, and our mutual disdain for generic birthday gifts. Plus, plenty more nostalgic nonsense that only the Camp Counselors (and Sammich) could bring you. Press play and let’s rewind!

Get Merch: campcounselorspodcast.com/merch
Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! 

➜ This episode is sponsored by Progressive Insurance. See if you can save on car insurance at progressive.com 

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Sources:
➜ “Make Way for Memphis’s Penthouse Ducklings.” BostonGlobe, 27 Oct. 2022.
➜ Natalie O’Neill. “Florida Woman Leaves $2.5m Mansion and Inheritance - to 7 Cats.” New York Post, 21 June 2023.

Camp Songs:
Spotify Playlist
YouTube Playlist
Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:
Camp Counselors TikTok
Camp Counselors Instagram
Camp Counselors Facebook
Camp Counselors Twitter 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

(Replay) 42 - Field Day Participation Awards

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