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Dear Media


"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments. 


Absolutely Not

On this episode, Heather is back in LA and welcomes Atsuko Okatsuka to the pod. Heather has shown up to the recording dress in her last dusty Brooks and Dunn t-shirt, while Atsuko is in a full conductor designer outfit with a shrimp bolo tie. They debate whether or not they are brain rotting being on their phone all the time on tour, ridiculous personal Yelp reviews, and if it's better to have a bird in the hand or two in a bush. They also connect on their love of Lucille Ball. You can catch Atsuko on tour as well as her new Hulu special, Father.

Episode Sponsors: 

Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more.

Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly.

To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsuranc.com/absolutely. This is a Paid Advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or UnitedStates Fire Insurance Company, and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency, Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.

Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.

Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger — or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/absolutely, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Goodwipes —because butts deserve better.

Get yourself and your loved ones the best gift of all - the gift of clean with Branch Basics! For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and Free Shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com/ABSOLUTELY. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. Get Branch Basics this Holiday Season, because cleanliness matters.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Years Left with Atsuko Okatsuka

On this episode replay from 2021, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive!

Episode Sponsors:

Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. and if you’re looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list - the SKIMS Holiday Shop is now open at SKIMS.com

Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

For Absolutely Not listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/absolutely with code absolutely.

You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.

Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly.

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order at https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcast.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Return of Rebootin’ B*tch

On this episode, Heather is suffering from a wine headache, but ready to recap her weekend in Oxford for the Ole Miss game. She chats about the Lane Kiffin conspiracies of Gators, LSU and Theo Von. She takes on the voicemails from people seeking gay bar advice, an unlikely cease and desist, and what it’s like to have your life flash before your eyes.

Episode Sponsors:

Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers.

Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase.

 Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. 

Treat yourself or someone special to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth this holiday season. Save 20% off sitewide at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY.

For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your subscription.

For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and Free Shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com/ABSOLUTELY.

For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Scream Cream

On this episode, Heather is coming off the high of the LA show, as well as the Dodger’s World Series Win, but also the low of fighting for her life with some sort of stomach bug in Austin. Heather also has a HUGE family announcement that is causing anxiety but all the excitement. She takes voicemails from Ole Miss tailgaters, Trader Joe’s virgins as well as a show-goer who needed medical attention.

Episode Sponsors:

Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot.

For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Go to JoinBLVD.com to learn more.

Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely.

Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly.

Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sex in the Kitchen

On this episode, Heather is in NYC after a slew of shows across Texas, Kentucky and Ohio. So many characters came out to the show, but nothing like Midland Moms drunk on Mountain Dew Margaritas. We also get a Texas Tony update! She takes voicemails from an unlikely DUI charge, doulas dilemmas, debates about starting a travel show.

Episode Sponsors:

Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.

Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely.

Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY, text them your receipt and get reimbursed!

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order at https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcast

Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mountain Dew Margs

On this episode, Heather and Raymond welcome Dog the Bounty Hunter and his late wife, Beth to the pod. They threw together their costumes in 20 minutes to make for a ridiculous take on these two TLC legends. The chat about their favorite movie theatre snacks and how they will never be as put together as Mary Beth Barone and Benito Skinner. They take a voicemail about a very controversial type of baptism. 

Episode Sponsors:

You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. 

Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.

For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your subscription.

 Get started free, plus get 20% off your first 6 months at Quo.com/ABSOLUTELY.

Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

All Dogs Go To Heaven with Raymond Padilla

This week, we’re taking it back to one of the most iconic episodes in Absolutely Not history: Burnt My Grundle. In this replay, Heather relives the madness of a piping hot Starbucks to the lap, and goes through some of the most chaotic voicemails. If you’re new here, buckle up. If you’re an OG, you already know this one is a classic.

Episode Sponsors:

Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com.

Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely

To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely.

Visit join joinBLVD.com to learn more about Boulevard and book a demo to see if it’s right for your business.

Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Return of Burnt My Grundle

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after the UNWELL weekend in Vegas . She had two insane shows in Florida, flew Breeze nonstop to the Cosmo, and then hung out with Alex Cooper and every housewife you can imagine. While God is good, someone is testing her or has put on a voodoo hex. Rigs is back in the VET ER, Macaroni maybe has a UTI and the rest of our pets heads are falling off. We get voicemails from someone that's newly engaged and someone that is debating about dumping their boo over their shower routine.

Episode Sponsors:

Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCA Mixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more.

Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot.

Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers.

Head to BranchBasics.com to shop the Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com.

For Absolutely Not listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/ABSOLUTELY with code ABSOLUTELY.

Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Unwell B*tch

On this episode, Heather is fired up about the new Taylor Swift album, seeing Tate McRae in concert and all things that make being a girl the best. She chats about her amazing show in Seattle followed by a humbling flight home. She takes voicemails from other TSwift lovers, bad ass women driving themselves to their own delivery and who pilates is really made for. 

Episode Sponsors:

Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

For a limited time, Prolon is offering listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. This World Mental Health Day, we’re celebrating the therapists who’ve helped millions of people take a step forward. If you’re ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. My listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY.

Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $190 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase.

Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY, text them your receipt and get reimbursed!

Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCA Mixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For the Girlies

On this episode, Heather is back from the Ryder Cup with a few things to say. 

Episode Sponsors:

To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely

For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Visit JoinBlvd.com to learn more.

Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely.

Don't be the friend who's always complaining about feeling like garbage—do something about it with LiverMD! Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order.

For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot.

Find Stouffer's in the freezer aisle today.

CAKES body covers have become a staple in my wardrobe this fall. To try them for yourself, go to cakesbody.com. You can even use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first order.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Return of Rebootin’ B*tch

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