Beautifully broken: how I upcycled myself

"Autobiographical fiction? That's the feeling you get when you read debut author Juul Heko's book about their connection to K-pop group BTS. A special connection that was developed seven years before Juul Heko even knew of BTS' existence. What do you do when your soul is broken, due to early childhood trauma and trauma sustained after multiple medical errors by doctors and hospital staff in your childhood development? And because of these unresolved traumas, you develop a rare autoimmune disease because a piece of your DNA gets damaged just after you, as an "in-between child," enter female puberty? If your soul is androgynous, your psyche both male and female (Animus and Anima), but your body has a binary gender; does inner chaos then arise? Can you repair your broken Self? And how?" To upcycle my inner and outer damaged Self during my 2019 - 2020 gender transition, I needed a "roadmap of the soul." And it just so happened that music group BTS released a musical Map of the Soul: 7 at the very moment I felt I no longer wanted to live due to a severe depression in early 2020. A music album inspired by the Red Book of psychiatrist and psychologist C.G. Jung. Whether I succeeded in 'repairing' myself holistically, while repairing damaged products from the secondhand store in Wijchen, the Netherlands using BTS's Map of the Soul: 7, you can read in my English-language memoir e-book.

© 2025 Dancing Queer (Ebook): 9789465118857

Release date

Ebook: 21 August 2025