Summary of Sloane Crosley's I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.

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#1 I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day. I have pictured my loved ones coming to my apartment to collect my things, and I have hoped that it would only be lived-in messy. But that is never going to happen.

#2 I have dated a lot of men who have given me a contribution to my pony collection. This is not such a bad thing. These are men who are creative and kind. They hold open doors and pour wine. If I were to join a cult, I would think they would come rescue me.

#3 I have a collection of ponies that I bought after breaking up with my boyfriends. They are too embarrassing to leave out in the open, facing west like a collection of china elephants. I want to send them around the world like the Travelocity gnome, have them come back to me years from now when I have an attic in which to shut them away.

#4 I can’t just throw the ponies out with the recyling. The ponies have roots in me, not the other person. I put them in a black plastic bag and take them with me on the subway. I leave them between my legs, and then I forget to take them with me when I get up.

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Release date

Ebook: 10 October 2022