The Device, The Devil and Me: The mind is my battlefield. And I… I was my own worst nightmare.

I wrote this before I knew I had ADHD

"This book is simply exquisite, there are no other words for it."

I have a secret.

I am mad.

Not crazy or bonkers or daft. Just mad. You wouldn't know it to look at me or talk to me or even be in a loving long-term relationship with me, but I can assure you, I have the darkness...

Keeping a secret of her pain and self-harming is taking its toll on Lauren. She finally feels like she might be brave enough to confide in her mother, who reveals a devastating secret of her own. Pushing her own problems deep back inside, Lauren braces herself for battle…

"I was overwhelmed by this book. It's raw, and honest and gut wrenching. And at the same time, it's funny, full of pathos and so cleverly, bravely, exquisitely written. The style is so fresh, so seamless, I can't image the work that went into turning this so personal story into such a perfect work of fiction, of entertainment. Little snatches of life, little moments crafted out of pain and experience and truth into something cinematic, gripping. I loved it, even while being upset by it, being overawed by the courage and talent of the author. I finished it in a flash, and had to order it for a friend of mine far away." Jo - Reader review

"Beautifully, carefully, seamlessly written in a unique style it made me laugh and cry and pulled out a hundred emotions in-between. If you enjoy a book that's real and raw and honest then try this, it's a brave subject matter, the plot is character led and will stay with me for years to come." Reader review

"An accomplished and impeccably penned narrative through difficult and challenging human territory. By the time you have read this novel you will emerge more human than when you went in. And this is the litmus test of all literature." Christopher Rush

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Release date

Audiobook: 12 March 2025