There Was and There Was Not: A Journey Through Hate and Possibility in Turkey, Armenia, and Beyond

National Book Critics Circle Award Finalist: A young Armenian-American moves to Istanbul to confront questions of history, loyalty, and loving your enemy.

Meline Toumani grew up in a close-knit Armenian community in New Jersey where Turkish restaurants were shunned and products made in Turkey were boycotted. The source of this enmity was the Armenian genocide of 1915 at the hands of the Ottoman Turkish government, and Turkey’s refusal to acknowledge it. A century onward, Armenian and Turkish lobbies spend hundreds of millions of dollars to convince governments, courts, and scholars of their clashing versions of history.

Frustrated by her community’s all-consuming campaigns for genocide recognition, Toumani leaves a promising job at the New York Times and moves to Istanbul. Instead of demonizing Turks, she sets out to understand them, and in a series of extraordinary encounters over the course of four years, she tries to talk about the Armenian issue, finding her way into conversations that are taboo and sometimes illegal. Along the way, we get a snapshot of Turkish society in the throes of change, and an intimate portrait of a writer coming to terms with the issues that drove her halfway across the world.

In this far-reaching quest, Toumani probes universal questions: how to belong to a community without conforming to it, how to acknowledge a tragedy without exploiting it, and most importantly how to remember a genocide without perpetuating the kind of hatred that gave rise to it in the first place.

“Although this book offers plenty of insight—funny, affectionate, often frustrated—into a unique diasporic culture, Toumani is ultimately less interested in what makes a person Armenian, Turkish or anything else than in what can happen when we start to think beyond those national identities.” —The Washington Post

“A remarkable memoir.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“An unusual book: courageous, intriguing, and at moments, despite its subject, unexpectedly funny. And [Toumani’s] determination to understand and put behind her a century of hatred has echoes for more peoples than just Turks and Armenians.” —Adam Hochschild, author of To End All Wars: A Story of Loyalty and Rebellion, 1914–1918

“This deft combination of political and personal narrative is an attempt to cross one of the modern world’s most sensitive divides. With warmth and feeling, it shows why so many people and nations are imprisoned by the past, and what can happen when they set themselves free.” —Stephen Kinzer, author of Crescent and Star: Turkey Between Two Worlds

© 2024 Metropolitan Books (Ebook): 9780805097634

Release date

Ebook: 26 March 2024