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Jamison Dance and Dave Smith

It takes more than great code to be a great engineer. Soft Skills Engineering is a weekly advice podcast for software developers about the non-technical stuff that goes into being a great software developer.

Soft Skills Engineering

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

I’m a new listener to the podcast and work as the sole developer for a sports team, which is the only company I’ve worked for since graduating from university 8 years ago. I listened to episode 493 while clenching my teeth as you told a listener to absolutely not take the job with the European football club as a solo developer. Yikes! While I feel I have continued to grow my skillset in my role, I’m now feeling vulnerable about having no professional experience working alongside other developers or on large-scale applications.
 2. 

I feel very conflicted about leaving my current company. I have a respectable developer salary for the (non-American) low cost of living area I’m in, have a great manager, and have built up a ton of good will and trust within the organization. I get all the freedom I could ask for to make design decisions, implement devops practices, try out new technologies, and make mistakes. I also find the work interesting and there’s always something else to do! I’m a little scared of the horror stories that I hear about the real dev world and don’t want to take my current situation for granted.
 3. 

I would really appreciate guidance on what you think I should do. I have clear skill deficits in certain areas, but would have to give up a lot of liberties with a role change.
 4. 

 5. 

Listener Brian asks,
 6. 

My job is mostly okay, but could be better because of the people in it. I joined a greenfield project a few years ago as my first software engineer role after transitioning from other data work. I grew up with the project and improved my engineering skills. A year ago we hired two new people. They had relevant experience and seemed to know what they were talking about in the interview, and had five & ten years of experience (aka, more than me).
 7. 

Onboarding the first few months was whatever, BUT they’ve never really improved afterwards. They turn in work that has clearly not been tested or does not meet the ticket’s requirements, barely review PRs and have never (!) left any comments/feedback, and despite their level (senior+). I don’t really trust them to work on anything more than the smallest, simplest stories.
 8. 

I’ve provided specific feedback in PRs and in performance reviews (sometimes very low-level and specific, and sometimes very high-level about guiding questions or principles), but nothing’s changed. I’ve felt frustrated, drained, and confused - why is it such a struggle to get someone with an entire decade of development experience to turn in a straightforward PR? One other teammate has admitted (privately) that some work was sloppily done, which is consoling but otherwise I’m not sure if it’s bothering others as much as it does me.
 9. 

They’re offshore so maybe it’s just a communication thing? The rest of the team has been on the project since the beginning so maybe we’re poorly set up for new devs. I have high standards for myself and others and I’ve always been the most junior developer on the team and am new to the senior role.
 10. 

Am I just being a perfectionistic jerk? Is that a bad match for (essentially) junior teammates? Should I just reset my expectations and accept that their level and years of experience don’t translate into high performance? Thanks for any insights.
 11.

Episode 499: Should I quit my solo dev job with a sports team and senile seniors

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

‌
 2. 

Hi Dave and Jamison,
 3. 

Internal dev asker from the second half of Episode 441 checking back in. Your “ask what scared the previous dev” advice in particular has paid off handsomely; I now carry around a little book of eldritch warnings and, somehow, people keep bringing me their unknowable monsters to interpret. It’s almost as though the previous dev knew these sorts of things would happen! I didn’t set out to acquire Lovecraftian knowledge, but here we are, still in one piece.
 4. 

Today’s puzzle: getting busy humans to test our stuff early, while feedback can still make it into production. We’re trying to build a culture where people will poke at a rough prototype now, instead of filing a Very Concerned Ticket three hours before release. How do we get people to test and provide feedback earlier? Do we stay disarmingly warm, promise tiny time boxes, and make a public show of “you said / we changed” until participation feels like the default? Or do we wave our terminal windows around threateningly on a screen share and promise doom (and minor annoyances) until they comply?
 5. 

Thanks for lending sanity to the abyss,
—An increasingly arcane internal apps dev
 6. 

 7. 

I have been listening to your podcast regularly and am inspired by how the podcast and the community have grown.
 8. 

I am a developer with over 10 years of experience and have moved to Sweden from a country outside Europe, with the ambition to build my long-term life and career here.
 9. 

For several years, I have tried to take that step myself, but often encounter the same obstacle: I am told I need experience as an engineering manager — but without the role, I can’t get the experience, and without the experience, I can’t get the role.
 10. 

I have invested a lot of time and energy in developing myself: learning about leadership, coaching, communication, and team dynamics.
 11. 

Despite this, I find it difficult to see a clear path forward. With everything happening in tech right now, I sometimes feel stuck and uncertain how to break this cycle.
 12. 

My question is: how did you take your first step? How can one realistically enter an engineering manager role when the door seems closed without prior experience?
 13. 

Thank you for creating such an honest and inspiring podcast. It already means a lot to me — and to many others, I am sure.
 14.

Episode 498: Testing in big corporations and how to get my first management job

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

I’m a relatively new people manager and I really struggle when it comes time for performance reviews, or even regular praise or critical feedback in one-on-ones, because I can’t help feeling like an adult “talking down” to another adult, regardless of whether the feedback is generally positive or critical and instructive. Something about it all seems so patronizing to me. How can I approach this stuff with a different mindset?
 2. 

 3. 

Hello D & J! Quick one from your biggest fan!! This week (Tuesday 6th Jan 2k26) I was promoted to Tech Lead of our team. In my new role, I have done no work *cries*, I’ve spent all my time assisting team members, unblocking QA, dealing with ad hoc requests from product/stakeholders…. I asked the previous tech lead is this what they did? They did! And they said spent their personal time to complete stories assigned to them.
 4. 

Is this really what a tech lead does?!?!! Helpppp
 5.

Episode 497: Patronizing perf reviews and can't get anything done as a tech lead

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

Listener Tom says,
 2. 

I’m a software developer with six years experience, mostly at small startups with engineering teams anywhere between 2 and 10 developers.
 3. 

Because these startups have been small, most of the interviews were really casual. I’d speak to either the CEO, or CTO about my past experience, and we would talk about the direction the company was heading, and whether I’d be interested in joining. They felt less like interviews, and more like free-flowing conversations.
 4. 

I’m now back on the market, and I’m looking at larger, more established tech companies. I can get past the tech interviews just fine, but I’m struggling with the soft-skills interviews. Compared to what I’m used to they’re a lot more structured and it feels like they’re looking for answers that fit a certain criteria and format.
 5. 

What advice would you give to someone used to interviewing at small startups, but now interviewing at larger companies?
 6. 

 7. 

I took an unpaid full stack internship role at a new non-profit, and it turned out to be a team completely made of other interns. There isn’t a single experienced engineer on the team. I have gone way deeper than originally intended and am now functionally a founding engineer where the founder pretends I’m a lead engineer and calls me an intern. The founder is also hellbent on having the highest development velocity, and sometimes will contribute their own AI-generated code, often bypassing the review process especially for things I’m not comfortable signing off on like an AI-generated TOS and user agreement.
 8. 

I recently learned that the founder is not viewed highly in their local area after a scandal where they were accused of scamming a large sum of money, which is likely why they are doing their free community projects they started now in order to save face. This has backfired, and now people are calling their projects “AI generated schemes” despite the services being completely free.
 9. 

I’m not sure if I should continue contributing to these projects anymore. Since the founder rushes things to get done, walks through legal areas with their AI “lawyer,” and has a bad image, I’m worried about whether my resume will be taken seriously by potential future employers.
 10. 

Should I continue working for this person or is the experience not worth it?
 11.

Episode 496: Passing non-technical interviews and my internship with only other interns

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

Hello gentlemen, long-time listener here, and I’d love your take on something that’s been keeping me up at night.
 2. 

The high powered boss that I report to is someone I genuinely like and respect.This manager is smart, kind, honest, and overall great to work with. We have a solid relationship. I also come from big tech, so I sometimes feel I have better experience around managing projects and keeping teams organized. However she recently shared in confidence that there’s a chance of resigning in the next few months. and when I asked what keeps her up at night, the headache did not seem so big of a deal to me.
 3. 

But ever since hearing this news, I’ve been catastrophizing the next few months. I’m not ready to job-hunt. At the same time, if this manager does leave, it could be a really good opportunity for me to step up.
 4. 

So here’s what I’m struggling with:
1.How do I position myself for a potential promotion without making it seem like I’m going behind my manager’s back or trying to undermine them?
2.Should I quietly start looking for an job anyways, just in case?
3.And how do I stay sane when this might all be for nothing and the manager might actually stay?
 5. 

Would really appreciate your wisdom on how to navigate this without losing more sleep.
 6. 

Thanks for everything you do!
 7. 

 8. 

I’ve worked as an engineering manager in a few big companies in Berlin, but after too much corporate politics bs, I flipped the fingers and quit. In the 2025 economy, that wasn’t the smartest move — finding a new job has been harder than ever.
 9. 

I’ve been focusing on smaller companies, ideally under 100 people. Ideally less politics, more autonomy. But now I’ve got an offer from Google in Bucharest — nearly double the compensation what I could get in Germany. The catch? I’d have to leave my strong circle of friends in Berlin and start over in a new city, new country.
 10. 

What would you do in my place? Brainstorm with me please 🥺
 11.

Episode 495: What to do when my boss quits and moving to Romania?

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

Dear Damison and Javison, I work at a very small startup (<10 engineers) and am trying to hire 2 engineers. I’m doing the intro/screener interview for these roles & am working with a recruiting firm to source candidates. My problem is that sometimes my intuition tells me that a candidate is not going to make it through our hiring process, but I can’t articulate why. Our hiring process is neither cruel nor unusual, and on paper these candidates have the skills and experience we’re looking for. But I feel a duty to let the hiring process do its work; I want to be principled about this. For reference, I’d say I screen out 2/3 of recruiter-screened candidates, and of those remaining, 2/5 of the candidates have the je ne sais quoi for which I should be saying non, merci. One made it all the way to reference checks! Do I need to do a better job rejecting these nice, smart people instead of wasting our time? Also note that I am not a manager, and although I have a lot of experience interviewing candidates, this is the first time I’ve done the *first* interview with candidates (first-ish; the recruiting firm interviews them first).
 2. 

 3. 

Listener Jeppe says,
 4. 

Hi Soft Skills nation,
 5. 

What’s the accepted practice with staying or leaving the private chat channels of my previous team?
 6. 

I work at a large company and recent switched teams internally. I helped establish the team and got along really well with them. The transfer was on good terms (they invited to their Christmas dinner after the transfer!) and my managers agreed that I could always help my old team in case something came up.
 7. 

I’m still in the internal chat channels for my old team. I love hearing what they’re up to and catching up. They explicitly told me not to be a stranger, so I’m not! However, I don’t think there’s much business value in being in their channels. Sometimes we have more technical chats about internal tools, and it would probably be better if I had those discussion with my new team.
 8. 

What should I do? Should I just stay until their manager decides to kick me out? Should I be proactive and talk with the manager about it? Should I leave a teary message about how I’m going to miss them all (even if I see them regularly at lunch and outside work sometimes)?
 9.

Episode 494: Am I interviewing all wrong and leaving old team chats

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

Hey Guys, long time listener, first time asker!
 2. 

At my BigCorp Co., whenever I talk to my skip level about my concerns, it seems we are playing the ‘Gloom Olympics’ every time we meet. I’ll mention I worked late, and he’ll counter with, ‘That’s nothing, I haven’t slept in three days!’
 3. 

This repeated lack of empathy is demotivating and I don’t think I have had a fruitful discussion with him.
 4. 

How can I tackle this? How can I feel heard?
 5. 

 6. 

I’ve decided to leave my current job as a software engineer at a large retail chain. This is my first out of university, and I’ve been here three years.
 7. 

I’m interviewing for two other jobs: one as an engineer at another large retail chain on a team, and another at a world renowned European football club.
 8. 

That job would be very different. I’d be the first internal dev hire ever, and I was told I should expect no other devs to get hired for 2+ years. I’d write my own tickets and review my own prs. The project would be to build a dashboard to manage the players - drug testing, injuries, rosters - internally.
 9. 

What should I do? Feedback & mentorship were central to my growth at my current job. I won’t have that at the sports club. My concern is I go to the football team, drink a lot of beer & have a great time, but after 3 years of being my own boss, I’ll think I’m the greatest dev ever but really not have kept up to date with modern trends, forgotten how to take feedback, and written a lot of 💩 code.
 10.

Episode 493: My boss one-ups my negativity and football engineering

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

Listener AWS multi-region is not real multi-region, ask me how I know asks,
 2. 

We’ve recently acquired some bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new grads. What have you found to be the most effective way to onboard new grads into development roles? How has it changed (if at all) since the advent of LLMs? I want to make sure my new-grad crushing machine is operating as smoothly as possible considering the recent advancements in developer tooling. Those new grads won’t crush themselves!
 3. 

 4. 

Listener Taso asks,
 5. 

Early in my career I was all-in on startups. Then I spent seven years in big companies in leadership roles. I learned a lot, but the politics and the pace were so slow that at some point I’m pretty sure geological processes were moving faster than our release cycles. So I finally flipped some metaphorical fingers and quit.
Since then I’ve been interviewing almost exclusively with startups… except Google, where I somehow ended up with an offer on a team I’d genuinely enjoy.
You’ve both bounced between big tech and startups—if you were in my shoes, how would you think about choosing between the two?
 6.

Episode 492: Fresh grads and startups or the goog

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

I handed in my resignation this past Monday. During the conversation, my manager confided in me that this coming Wednesday, 25% of the workforce is being laid off.
 2. 

For context, this is the second round of layoffs. The first round happened a year ago and was a disaster. It was announced via an internal video the night before, but the CEO forgot to mention that the affected employees had already been notified privately. This caused mass panic; thinking they were next, many experienced engineers immediately brushed up their resumes and jumped ship voluntarily. Even my skip-level manager was in the dark. Shortly after that chaos, we were acquired by an American Private Equity firm.
 3. 

Morale has been at an all-time low ever since, and the writing has been on the wall all year.
 4. 

Now I am in the awkward position of serving my three-month notice period while walking through the ruins of my company. I am the “lucky one” who quit voluntarily two days before the hammer dropped to join a different company for a massive raise and promotion, while my colleagues are about to lose their jobs.
 5. 

How do I navigate the next 90 days? How do I interact with the survivors who are likely furious and overworked, knowing I’m already checking out?
 6. 

Sincerely,
 7. 

Rearranging Deckchairs on the Titanic
 8. 

 9. 

Hello!
 10. 

I have a bad manager, like really bad. She gets the whole team together to say “so and so is getting laid off tomorrow, or in a month, don’t say anything”.
She openly shares employee compensation in 1-1’s, gossips about her boss and team members and takes feedback as personal attacks.
 11. 

Would you believe me if I said that no one trusts her?
 12. 

What should I do? I want to contact HR but I have never talked to HR before in my career. I know I can’t tell her because engineers who have offered feedback on team dynamics, or general professionalism, get yelled in 1-1’s. Is this something worth taking to HR or do I just live with it until… I get a new job? If I do say something what do I say? Do I bring up the distrust she has created amongst the team or do I keep it to the poor judgement and unprofessionalism?
Do you want to write the letter for me? Yes!? Thanks!
 13.

Episode 491: Re-arranging deck chairs on the Titantic and my boss leaks private info

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

 1. 

Hi Dave and Jamison, I’ve been in QA/QA automation for 13 years now with a CS degree, and I’ve been trying to change my role to a software developer for a while. My only issue is that every time I brought my career aspirations to my managers they seemed to “not care” or give vague answers to “kick the can down the road”. In the past I fully demonstrated I can do the work by submitting bug fixes, writing and deploying a few microservices by myself (all product feature work), on top of performing my QA duties. I get high marks in my performance reviews, but that doesn’t seem to be enough! I also seem to attract some resentment from my team (silently but it’s noticed) as they see a QA trying to soak up their dev work and I get a strong “stay in your lane” vibe. I do it to help them, not take all of their work. Any advice? Am I approaching this the wrong way? And what would you do in my situation? Thanks and all the best!
 2. 

 3. 

Hi!
 4. 

Three years ago, I relocated from a third-world country to Europe for work. I tend to undersell myself a lot. I know I am a competent, hard-working, and smart engineer. I have strong opinions and can evaluate trade-offs. I can participate in discussions about complex systems, and I have experience managing projects.
 5. 

But sometimes I’m afraid of looking dumb and scared of confrontation. This means I rarely voice my opinions or suggestions. I often let go of them at the slightest objection, even if I believe the other person is mistaken. Whenever I speak or comment on a subject in Slack, I always use phrases like “I’m not 100% sure”, “as far as I remember”, or “I have to look it up but I think … “. These would not matter If I was showing my confidence through other means like participating in discussions confidently, but these all add up to create an image of someone reliable in getting things done, but not reliable at taking more responsibility.
 6. 

I was not like this before moving. Occasionally I struggle with the language when in big meetings or talking about complex matters, but I’m comfortable with English. It has an effect for sure, but it is not the cause.
 7. 

I’m going to start a new position and I want to have a longer career there. But I’m afraid that I can not give myself the head start I know I’m capable of. How can I improve my own personal onboarding process and let my new colleagues and manager know how lucky they are to have me on their team?
 8.

Episode 490: How do I break into software dev from QA automation and underselling

In episode 5, Jamison and Dave answer this question:

What are common ways developers are compensated? Do developers usually get a bonus? Stock options?

Episode 5: Developer Compensation

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