Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: essays

Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won’t drop dead. Her stories are a case study in the human spirit’s tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. For many years, she toiled in the entertainment business, where the only responses she received were “Almost,” “So close,” or “Not quite.” Humor was the life vest that kept her afloat. A comedic look at blind ambition, stubborn optimism, and perseverance, Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? delivers tales of universally awkward, misunderstood, and human failings through wit, pop culture, and Dani's losses and wins (mostly losses). Her humor, sometimes dark and distorted but always self-aware, is a salve for the messiness and absurdities of life. Dani's candid essays speak to the hopeful in all of us. Some of Dani’s stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other tales explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt, and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she’s describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple’s resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani provides gentle shoves—inspiration wrapped in cautionary tales—for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.

© 2025 River Grove Books (Audiobook): 9781734575224

Release date

Audiobook: August 26, 2025