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Tim Ferriss


The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.


CØCKPUNCH

“The darkness. It always starts with the darkness…”

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#1: The Seventh Scribe

“I invite you to the hearth for a last cup of mead, for the time of killing is at hand, and you are my lamb.”

— Opening Line of the Bagdun Olex, The War Dance of House Qevoth

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#2: House Qevoth

“Two nipples and one mouth. Kai se vell!”

— Graelin expression for when unable to pick between two options

“Fae for play, Fae for delay.”

— Common expression in the realm

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#3: House Hime

“Confidence breeds confidence.”

— Alcedonian proverb

“Two is one and one is none.”

— One of 10 Raider Recitals

House Hallux wasn’t always House Hallux. For thousands of years, they were referred to by race: The Alcedonians. They comprised a semi-nomadic tribe feared for deep intelligence and a ruthless raiding culture. Their rites of passage, religion, and means of existence all revolved around attacking and taking whatever was needed or desired from neighbors…

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#4: House Hallux

“Dragons don’t bark.”

— Warning inscription on the mainland archway of the Bridge of Ten 

There is only one clear way to and from House Amekawa: The Odoroki-Bashi.

This brilliant red bridge starts at the northern edge of the island stronghold of Amekawa, and it slowly arches up to the southern high-cliff entrance point of the Free Trade Zone, roughly 750 feet above the crashing waves below. The Odoroki-Bashi is more commonly known as the Bridge of Ten Terrors, or the Bridge of Ten, as it became known…

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#5: House Amekawa

“Kare bo aquato, kare bo oriboro.” (Life unexamined, life unlived)

— Jaqua festival chant from the Midsummer Burning

“Take out the garbage, or the Jaqua will take you instead!”

— Common warning to misbehaving children in Varlata

House Jaqua is practically a contradiction in terms.

The other Greater Houses use the term for simplicity and in official communication, but the people of Jaqua refer to themselves as the “Jak-wan,” or “Children of the Vine”...

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#6: House Jaqua

“Believe in Mokshanti, for he believes in you. Bow before Mokshanti, for he stands before you.”

— Morning prayer of House Mnemos

“Belief without action leads to impotence. Action without belief leads to regret. Belief with action leads to freedom.”

— The Law of Francippus

Members of House Mnemos sometimes refer to themselves as the Missionaries of Mokshanti. Outsiders mostly call them clerics.

Clerics fill the people of the realm with both hope and terror, for they are the harbingers of resurrection...

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#7: House Mnemos

“Be the vessel that awaits the sacred. Empty yourself so that you may be filled. Seek the light and become the spark of creation.”

— Oumelion Recital

“Befriend the shadows so that you may stare into the sun. To see the unseen, allow yourself to disappear. The greatest ambitions need no audience.”

— Dalomai Recital

House Kaimur could be the most feared House in the realm, but it isn’t a simple matter. Magic seldom is...

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#8: House Kaimur

“Pleasures delayed are pleasures unmade.”

— Namorhan line from the song “The 9 Pleasures of the 7 Seas”

“Man is violence and violence is man. Therefore, the key question is ‘How can we be the best stewards of violence instead of its worst victims?’”

— Fleet Admiral Gossamer of House Namorha

The origins of House Namorha are murky. Once again, it depends on who does the telling. This is particularly true with pirates...

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#9: House Namorha

“To be seen by source, you must first learn to see. To learn to see, you must first learn to notice.”

— The Decree of Dagrún, Scroll Three

“True power has one wellspring: true names.” 

— The Decree of Ǫlrún, Scroll One

There are no easy paths to the Oracles of the Edge. That is by design.

On the 10th day of the 10th month of the 10th year of life, each boy in Varlata is called to travel. The Pilgrimage of Osa predates the name Varlata. It predates all of our memories. Perhaps it has always been.

A lad of ten and a half years may be on the cusp of physical maturity, but body alone doesn’t make a man. For that, he needs his true name. And for this, he must journey to the Oracles for the Anointing...

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

#8: House Kaimur

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