App Store

Google Play

Details page - Device banner - 894x1036

Step into an infinite world of stories

Listen and read

Michael W. Taft


Dedicated to liberation in all its forms, Deconstructing Yourself is passionate about fearlessly investigating, attempting, and questioning all things to do with awakening, meditation, mindfulness, brain hacking, consciousness, neurofeedback, and more.

Your host Michael W. Taft interviews some of the most interesting thinkers, authors, and teachers around, as well as other offerings. In this hard-hitting, radical, and fun podcast we look at secular post-, non-, un- Buddhism, Vajrayana, nondual Hindu Tantra, philosophy, the neuroscience of the sense of self, neurofeedback and the consciousness hacking movement, aspects of artificial intelligence, entheogens, and much more.

If you’re looking for fresh directions, free from dogma and conformism, think of the Deconstructing Yourself podcast as the radical cafe where you can hear from the most interesting luminaries either from the outside edges of dharma, or a fresh take from more traditional teachers. If you’re interested in more, check out the Deconstructing Yourself website at https://deconstructingyourself.com.


Deconstructing Yourself

Host Michael Taft talks with Vajrayana teacher and author Charlie Awbery about the meaning of their practice name Rin'dzin Pamo, Tantra, curiosity, new developments in the Evolving Ground community, the role of play and spontaneity in Vajrayana, a special invocation written by them and David Chapman, when the teacher/student relationship breaks down, transformation, and how to liberate the shadow.

Rin'dzin Pamo, also known as Charlie Awbery, author of Opening Awareness; a Guide to Finding Vividness in Spacious Clarity, is a meditation and leadership coach. They are also the co-founder of Evolving Ground a community of contemporary Vajrayana practice. Rin'dzin practiced and studied Vajrayana for thirty years alongside working in international development and human rights. They write at vajrayananow.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Invocation and Shadow with Charlie Awbery

Host Michael Taft continues a lively discussion with author and ayurvedic physician Dr. Robert Svoboda about the Aghora method of transmutation, alignment with nature, deity yoga, deities as a co-creation of humans and a cosmic force, the path of knowledge vs. the path of devotion, enjoying the flavor of reality, and the foundational importance of devotion. 

Dr. Robert Svoboda is an American author and ayurvedic doctor who gives lectures and courses around the world, related to the subjects of ayurveda, jyotish, tantra, and Eastern religion. Svoboda is the first Westerner to graduate from a college of ayurveda and be licensed to practice ayurveda in India. He is author of eleven books, including Prakriti: Your Ayurvedic Constitution (1989), and the Aghora trilogy about his guru, Vimalananda, and the Aghori sect.

Dr. Svoboda’s website

You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aghora, Deities, and Devotion with Dr. Robert Svoboda

Host Michael Taft speaks with Stephen Snyder Sensei about practicing the Pa Auk jhanas, the importance of vulnerability in finding authentic strength, his two paths for awakening: the Theravada cessation path and the Zen shikantaza path, how to balance psychological work with awakening, seeing the enlightened qualities of anger (and other difficult emotions), what are “protective” meditations, the three levels of shikantaza practice, koan practice, aloneness as a spiritual path, and the three factors he feels must be present for a true awakening.

Stephen Mugen Snyder, Sensei began practicing daily meditation in 1976. Since then, he has studied Buddhism extensively—investigating and engaging in Zen, Tibetan, Theravada, and Western non-dual traditions. He was authorized to teach in the Theravada Buddhist tradition in 2007 and the Zen Buddhist schools of Soto and Rinzai in 2022. Stephen is a senior student of Roshi Mark Sando Mininberg and a transmitted teacher in the White Plum Asanga—the body of teachers in the Maezumi-roshi lineage. Stephen is the author of many books, including Trust in Awakening, Demystifying Awakening and Buddha’s Heart. 

Stephen Snyder’s website: https://awakeningdharma.org/

You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Awakening, Cessation, and Vulnerability, with Stephen Snyder

Host Michael Taft speaks with meditation teacher, clinical psychologist, and author Dr. Tucker Peck about the the difference between developing a clear understanding of how your psychology works and feeling just how you want to feel all the time; the importance of focusing on mental process verses mental content, his practical definitions of sanity and sainthood, his three-stage model of meditation, and what it’s like after years of daily meditation practice. 

Dr. Tucker Peck is a meditation teacher, clinical psychologist, and author. A former professor, he is the founding director of the scholarship fund Open Dharma Foundation, and co-host of the podcast Teaching Meditation. Tucker’s first book, Sanity and Sainthood, debuted as a #1 bestseller in 2025. He teaches a weekly class in-person at the San Francisco Dharma Collective, and has been teaching an online class for advanced meditators since 2012.

You can find Tucker, and see the retreats he's teaching, at meditatewithtucker.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at tucker_peck. In the US, you can buy Sanity and Sainthood at this link, or outside the US, at any major online retailer (like Amazon).

You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sanity and Sainthood, with Dr. Tucker Peck

Host Michael Taft speaks with Andrew Holecek about the transformative practice of Dark Retreat, how the mind “falls into itself,” light as obfuscator, the revelation of the construction of reality, the power—and very real dangers—of Dark Retreat, ways to begin the practice of Dark Retreat, nondual view, Andrew’s own journey into this practice, and the “collision with the infinite.”

Andrew Holecek is an interdisciplinary scholar-practitioner in Tibetan Buddhism and other nondual wisdom traditions. He is the Resident Contemplative Scholar at the Institute for Advanced Consciousness Studies, and a research consultant for the Cognitive Neuroscience Program at Northwestern University. His work involves studies on dream yoga and the practice of dark retreat. Dr. Holecek is a member of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, the author of nine books, and a concert pianist. He has completed the Tibetan Buddhist three-year retreat and is a frequent subject in scientific studies on meditation and lucid dreaming. His work integrates ancient wisdom traditions with contemporary perspectives, aiming to help individuals navigate spiritual challenges and end-of-life experiences. He is currently writing two books on dark retreat. Holecek holds degrees in classical music, biology, and a doctorate in dental surgery.

Andrew Holecek’s website

You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Talking about Dark Retreat, with Andrew Holecek

Host Michael Taft talks with author David Godman about the sage Ramana Maharshi and his nondual view of the world, whether he considered taking sannyasa (renunciation) to be necessary to achieve awakening, the power of the physical presence of the guru, Sri Ramana's seemingly miraculous learning of Sanskrit, an introduction to Lakshmana Swami—a very advanced student of Ramana, with whom David Godman sat in the 1970s and 80s, Tamil poetry of awakening, and—in a surprising reveal—David Godman endorses a new jnani who lives in Tiruvannamalai.

David Godman has been living in India since 1976, studying and practising the teachings of Ramana Maharshi. During that period he has met and written extensively about many direct disciples of Sri Ramana, including Lakshmana Swamy, Muruganar, Papaji and Annamalai Swami. David has also been involved in several projects that have translated Ramana Maharshi’s Tamil teachings and made them available in English for the first time. His anthology of dialogues with Sri Ramana, Be As You Are, is, outside India, the most widely-read book on Sri Ramana’s teachings.

https://www.davidgodman.org/

You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A Conversation with David Godman

Pragmatic dharma teacher Kenneth Folk and host Michael W. Taft discuss what it means to be mindful, various definitions of being mindful in the moment, the trouble with remaining mindful during an entire sit, and more.

Kenneth Folk is an instructor of meditation who has received worldwide acknowledgement for his innovative approach to secular Buddhist meditation. Learn more about him and his work at Kenneth Folk Dharma.

Show Notes

0:48 Introduction and overview

4:00 Deconstructing “mindfulness”

11:47 Kenneth’s new mindfulness practice

15:02 Mindfulness vs. checking the box; auditor vs. meditator

23:58 Is mindfulness enlightening?

30:03 Defining engagement and the problem with prescriptions

31:52 Sense doors and applying mindfulness to thoughts

36:06 Alternatives to meditation for experiencing mindfulness and awakening

42:37 Is there a “right” way to experience awakening?

47:25 Getting to a 100 percent attention

52:45 Liberating working memory from the feeling of being the observer

55:06 Concentration hacking: making experiences sufficiently interesting

59:27 Flow and how it relates to mindfulness

1:06:23 How important is the ability to concentrate?

1:12:04 Do you need clarity, concentration, or both?

You can help to create future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Am I Mindful Right Now? with Kenneth Folk

Pragmatic dharma teacher Kenneth Folk and host Michael W. Taft discuss what it means to be mindful, various definitions of being mindful in the moment, the trouble with remaining mindful during an entire sit, and more.

Kenneth Folk is an instructor of meditation who has received worldwide acknowledgement for his innovative approach to secular Buddhist meditation. Learn more about him and his work at Kenneth Folk Dharma.

Show Notes

0:48 Introduction and overview

 4:00 Deconstructing “mindfulness”

 11:47 Kenneth’s new mindfulness practice

 15:02 Mindfulness vs. checking the box; auditor vs. meditator

 23:58 Is mindfulness enlightening?

 30:03 Defining engagement and the problem with prescriptions

 31:52 Sense doors and applying mindfulness to thoughts

 36:06 Alternatives to meditation for experiencing mindfulness and awakening

 42:37 Is there a “right” way to experience awakening?

 47:25 Getting to a 100 percent attention

 52:45 Liberating working memory from the feeling of being the observer

 55:06 Concentration hacking: making experiences sufficiently interesting

 59:27 Flow and how it relates to mindfulness

 1:06:23 How important is the ability to concentrate?

 1:12:04 Do you need clarity, concentration, or both?

You can help to create future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Cosmic Joke, with Kenneth Folk

Pragmatic dharma teacher and host Michael W. Taft feel the power of the dark side, talk about nirvana, deconstruct the concept of nirvana, dive deep into the reality of death, look at the denial of death, and probably scare away all listeners.

Kenneth Folk is an instructor of meditation who has received worldwide acknowledgement for his innovative approach to secular Buddhist meditation. Learn more about him and his work at Kenneth Folk Dharma.

Show Notes

0:25 – Introduction and overview

 2:20 – Preferring to be conscious or not conscious

 5:28 – Avoiding eternalism and entertaining the possibility of death…or immortality

 11:33 – The enjoyability of oblivion/nirvana (and establishing a definition of both)

 19:15 – The Buddha presents a life extinction program, not a life improvement program

 25:28 – Fear and denial of death, and rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic

 33:15 – The relief of accepting the reality of death

 34:48 – Enlightenment as a real-time report about what’s arising in experience

 37:52 – The limitations of coming to meditation as a life improvement program

 41:10 – Kenneth’s current practice assessing mindfulness, checking for tightness and temporarily suspending the self model

 48:45 – The preposterousness of eradicating the self

 53:41 – The Dharma Overground forums and posters having bad days after attaining some level of enlightenment

 58:31 – How do know anything? Does Kenneth feel like he has any special or ultimate knowledge?

 1:03:53 – Certitude is just another feeling on a level playing field with all others

 1:12:10 – Awakening experiences invalidating each other: the second awakening erodes some of the truth of the first

 1:14:10 – The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you

You can help to create future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Masters of Oblivion, with Kenneth Folk

Meditation teacher Shinzen Young and host Michael W. Taft talk about the relationship between mindfulness practice (as it is usually defined) and nondual-type practices (or non-practices, if you like), the way that focusing on the details of experience relates to focusing on awareness itself, micro-sessions & nano-nirvanas, the thinness and lightness of the screen of awareness and much more. Learn more about Shinzen Young at Shinzen.org.

Show Notes

0:25 – Intro

 4:12 – How does Advaita/Nonduality relate to Mindfulness?

 7:45 – Shinzen defines modern mindfulness and the component parts of contemplative practice (concentration, clarity and equanimity)

 9:51 – Michael’s simplified working definitions of mindfulness and advaita

 10:37 – Shinzen asserts that mindfulness and advaita converge towards the same thing, under his own understanding of mindfulness

 16:08 – How to investigate one’s own awareness through mindfulness; Shinzen’s quadrants of practice 20:50 – Appreciation practice (“note everything”) or “regular mindfulness”

 22:54 – The arrow of attention

 26:31 – Classical mindfulness in the Burmese tradition: penetrative awareness and working with the arrow of attention

 31:48 – Outside time and space: what the arrow of attention reveals

 34:06 – Shinzen defines primordial awareness in materialist, reductivist terms: the sound that’s not sound 39:15 – Are nondual experiences externally real, or do they reflect only subjective experience?

 45:05 – Shinzen’s conjecture: connectivity vs thingness; cones of association

 51:38 – By what criterion is connectivity assumed to be fundamental to reality, not only subjectively experienced?

 56:55 – How appreciation and self-inquiry practices converge

 1:01:01 – Reconciling the fruits of mindfulness and nonduality: differences in perception and language vs. differences in experience

 1:06:25 – Deconstructing the arrow of attention in a nondual setting

 1:07:50 – Micro-cessations vs lights-out cessations; the lightness and thinness of the ordinary

 1:11:55 – Shinzen’s many-layered experience of cessations; the sphere of experience and the void

 1:18:08 – Bigger cessations

 1:19:38 – Disambiguations: what does it mean to be feather light and paper thin, and what are the characteristics of micro-cessations?

 1:23:56 – The lightness of immediate experience

 1:29:30 – Outro

You can help to create future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Feather Light & Paper Thin, with Shinzen Young

Roshi Joan Halifax speaks with host Michael W. Taft about her new book, Standing at the Edge, the shadow sides of altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, engagement, and rays of hope in current times.

Roshi Joan Halifax, Ph.D. is a Buddhist teacher, Zen priest, anthropologist, and pioneer in the field of end-of-life care. She is Founder, Abbot, and Head Teacher of Upaya Institute and Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. A Founding Teacher of the Zen Peacemaker Order and founder of Prajna Mountain Buddhist Order, her work and practice for more than four decades has focused on engaged Buddhism. Her books include: The Fruitful Darkness, A Journey Through Buddhist Practice, Being with Dying, and her forthcoming, Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet.

Upaya Zen Center

Standing at the Edge on Amazon

You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Standing at the Edge, with Roshi Joan Halifax

Listen and read

Other podcasts you might like ...