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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb

Help Me Be Me

This is a GREAT podcast for moms that I have learned a lot from. It’s called “3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms” – it’s hosted by Rachel Nielson, a mom who seeks out the advice professionals for actionable advice around child-rearing. Rachel is a lover of practical ideas, conversations with kindred spirits, and her two wild miracle children who keep life interesting. I’m a mom so I am always looking for podcasts that help with child-rearing.
In this excerpt from episode 401 of 3 in 30, Rachel interviews board certified integrative family physician, activist, and TEDx speaker Dr. Setti[1] about accessing radical gratitude, especially in times of difficulty. In this takeaway you will hear one suggestion for how we can use gratitude to turn us toward our life instead of away. If you want to listen to the entire thing, here’s the full length episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/401-how-radical-gratitude-can-change-your-life-dr-tanmeet/id1296627876?i=1000676478660
And to follow Rachel’s show you can check out 3in30podcast.com
IG: @3in30podcast 

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Introducing: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

This episode is all tools for stepping back from the process of negative rumination and choosing a different path: awareness, neutrality and openness. A lot of what we live through is created in our mind, and thoughts catalyze more similar thoughts. When it comes to negative rumination, a lot of these thought sequences are based in old, strong emotional imprints from long ago that are triggered in the present.

When we get into a negative thought loop, a sequence of feelings is created by an initial thought. For example, “I am sad because I am alone tonight, and this person didn’t call me back.” Which catalyzes, “Where am I in my life?” Which catalyzes, “Now I feel emotionally low” which triggers the brain’s desire to double down on this feeling and wallow in this rapidly increasing feeling of sadness. This catalyzes the next thought and the next one and the next one after that.

I am doing something super simple in this episode: I am writing directions for how to dismantle these kinds of thought sequences. What happens is our brain is fighting for control over feelings of pain, powerlessness, and ego-threat by rationalizing it: giving it a logical set of terms and labels. When we have a blip of anxiety or pain, we say, “This feeling is from this present-day thing in my life.” And we have already jumped on the bandwagon of that sequence of feelings, thinking we are in control of managing it when in reality, we are creating it.

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Ep 239: Doom Spiral – Sorting between old and new feelings

Hi friends! Happy new year! This is a clips show with some inspirational vibes for you to kick off your year– it includes excerpts from the following episodes. Enjoy xo

192 Changing your life: remembering a sense of possibility
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-192-changing-your-life-remembering-a-sense/id895918183?i=1000602016701

193 Getting in the energy path of change
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000602016701

201 Working with the energy of scarcity – choosing fulfilment
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000619419445

185 Getting out of your own way
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000587178584

200 Getting back into the energy of limitlessness
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000617776780

Smile! And visit YayWithMe.com for more of my work

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Ep 240: Inspirational Thinking - A New Year Clips Show

‘Easy does it’ is a pretty great Alanon slogan, best used in times of stress or overwhelm when we find ourselves on the backfoot or grasping for control. What is most challenging about moving through any state of disaster (natural or personal) is the lack of ability to think– often when we are being faced with so much information, so quickly. ‘Easy does it’ is a path back to feeling grounded and safe in self. If you are suffering right now – from the loss of your home or from the loss of a partner or something else, this is a reminder that we can only take on as much as we can handle and sometimes the best thing we can do is slow down and take some of the pressure off of ourselves so we can return to the situation from a more resourced position. When we get into that energy of forcing solutions, that’s a little flag reminding us we need to come home to our breathing and be extra kind and gentle with ourselves. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time we wish to solve it in and some problems are not ours to solve.
 
This episode started as a reflection for the new year and it has evolved into something more nurturing. I and so many I love have been affected by the wildfires in California, it has been difficult to focus, but I am posting this in the hopes that it soothes someone who needs soothing. Sending love to anyone suffering right now. You are in my prayers. Xo
 
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And if you’re looking to do some good for a person you don’t know, in need:
GoFundMe CA Wildfire Relief
 
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Ep 241: Easy Does it: Collecting self in times of overwhelm

Ready to take a fresh path to self-discovery? Every Monday, Jemma of “The Psychology of your 20s” brings you a new mantra, breaking it down to show you how you can apply it to your own life. Whether you’re facing a major transition or looking to evolve your everyday routine, Mantra is the podcast for you. Join Jemma every week for reflections, practical tips, and personal insights that’ll inspire you to live with intention and unlock your true potential. Follow Mantra with Jemma Sbeg wherever you get your podcasts. 
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Introducing: “Mantra with Jemma Sbeg"

If you woke up one day and feel like “I don’t really like myself,” this is for you. Self-respect is not just about having an air of confidence as you interact with others, it’s also being respectful to yourself, internally. As a means to get to this place, I wanted to offer you a simple prescription: think of your body and what I’ll call your dominant thought narrative as being a wise, second self. A friendly and compassionate voice. This second self can aid you and ground you as you move through the chatter that is your anxiety or perhaps at times negative chatter and self-analysis. We have to learn how to become a consistent friend to ourselves and that is how we start to really like who we are, regardless of the external. Like meeting a new friend, this can start at any time in your life – it just requires a commitment.
 
This episode is also about when we cannot get to a particular behavior change – seeing that there is a block behind that: a blindness to a lie we are believing. These “feelings stones” create misalignments and block us from actualizing change because we can’t see where we are unable to accept something as true. I have an example from my own life to explain this better – for me that misalignment is blowing up at my kids/how i feel about that and why I have been unable to stop.

This is the book Chatter that I mentioned: https://amzn.to/4gj4Tyf
 
Support this week’s sponsors!
 
Prolon
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Ep 242: Befriending Yourself – Growing self-respect

I think one primal fear inherent in ego is that we are somehow inadequate, that we are unworthy and need to stave off this possible truth. The other side of this coin is an expectation that we can and should be perfect. Which is not only impossible and false, but also a harmful ideal even if it were attainable. It’s based in a belief that perfect is good. That fear of being inadequate is also the hidden truth that causes a lot of reactivity, judginess, defensiveness, and also increases our need for “stuff” – the drive of materialism is often a belief that we need something to feel whole, powerful and better than. This is an episode about working with that in particular.
 
When we work with this block of unworthiness– by looking into it, we get a bit closer to ourselves and we grow in our personal experience of wholeness, peace, joy, love and connection to others. Our love reservoir grows more expansive.
Support this week’s sponsors!
 
Chewy
Right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com/podhelpmebeme
Minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details.
 
BetterHelp
Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme today to get 10% off your first month.

Lume
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And this is the Telepathy Tapes podcast I mentioned:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-telepathy-tapes/id1766382649
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Ep 243: Fear of Inadequacy - Graduating Your Consciousness

Even if you’ve done a lot of work on yourself, feel confident and seated in yourself, there can be new situations when you recon with an unexpected and uncomfortable need to please or be liked by others that even if you disagree with it logically– can betray your intellect. This is a response that is often triggered by new social situations or conditions that remove you from your definition of self. It might happen when you’re entering a tightknit group that is not based in “who you are” or grow slowly in a situation where you are not aligned with the core group. Regardless it feels disconcerting and can catch you off-guard asking “What is happening??” I’ll call it 'the pleasing trigger.’

The feeling that we have to fit in and be liked can be intense and desperate, one that is triggered at any age– often when we are in a new forced social situation like a new professional sphere. Know that if this is happening to you it’s not because you are weak or unevolved, it’s because you are wired the way all humans are wired. These milestones when we feel the need to fit in might be when we are entering a life stage that is new with a new social group.
 
Support this week’s sponsors!
 
Gabb
Gabb is offering twenty-five dollars off any device—with no contract required. Just go to Gabb.com/HELPMEBEME to get started. Terms and conditions apply.
 
Prolon
Just in time for the new year, Prolon is offering Help Me Be Me listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/HELPMEBEME
 
Vionic
Use code HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your entire order at www.vionicshoes.com when you log into your account. 1 time use only.
 
Lume
As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET 15% ALL Lume products with our exclusive code - Use code HELPMEBEME for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com
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Ep 244: The Pleasing Trigger - Social Grasping and Neediness

This episode is all about knowing how to reward your inner self as you move through the world. It's about having a sense of our own spiritual and egoic priorities and ensuring we respect that truth at all times. If we don't do this, we end up feeling anxious, empty, numb, disconnected, and not liking ourselves. As we advance through life stages, our needs change, and we need to tune in to see what is true for us, then take steps to honor that truth.
 
We need to stay present and fulfilled, remaining conscious in the creation of our life. This requires us to stay really aware of old coping skills and know when we are near a personal danger zone. If you are in a place where you feel anxious, empty, numb, disconnected, and not liking yourself, know that the path to renewal, growth, and energy is actually tapping into the underbelly of what you have pushed down. Ask yourself, "What am I hiding from? What am I not listening to?" We need to make contact again so we can restore that connection. If we don't, it grows increasingly more persistent, making us feel we are violating ourselves. I call this splitting from ourselves. This is an invitation to reconnect and tap into what will ultimately make you thrive.
 
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Ep 245: Know Your Thrive Zone – for feeling alienated from yourself

This is about how we can come to a sense of comfort in our bodies and psyche, feel more aligned and at home in our life, versus at the mercy of it. It’s really easy to set up systems in our lives that betray our truest wishes for our souls. You might find that the life you have set up brings tons of stress to your body, makes you feel overwhelmed for a large majority of your week, or takes you out of quality time with your loved ones. I think we only get glimpses of this truth when we are having a panic attack, or almost done with vacation, or have the Sunday scaries: it’s that looking down the barrel of the future feeling where you think, “When will all the overwhelm end??” The things we do to ourselves can be abusive, to say the least. For you that betrayal might be in the area of peace, self-respect, bodily peace, or simply a calm mind and nervous system.

In this episode I am offering you a reflection and reset for You on You. Reframing the way you move through your life can be simple: it comes down to acknowledging and addressing your inner view of what’s working and not working. This understanding can alter the trajectory of how you move forward in small but profound ways. You on You is also a relationship: a friendship, and one that can be repaired with a few simple tweaks and intentionality.

Support this week’s sponsors:

Vionic Shoes: vionicshoes.com and use code HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your entire order when you log into your account. 1 time use only.
 
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Ep 246: The Things We Do to Ourselves

This is for complicated relationships with complicated boundaries, for example when you are stuck in a relationship you dislike, or you are dating but have gone through a life shift, so you fear choosing the wrong person. The reason I chose this topic is often when we are not fully activating
our boundaries around the concepts of what we want and what rewards us, we allow a situation or another person to decide our future, for us. So something external will push us into a long-term situation that we never actively wanted or designed. When we are not fully solved as individuals, we may not know why we are not happy, what is not sitting right, and whether or not that’s “valid” for us to feel what we feel. In other words – there is a vagueness to our own feelings and we question ourselves, which keeps us more stuck in a situation. 

We may be emotionally ambivalent or have opposite feelings in a relationship, like dating when you are a single parent: any new relationship might bring up opposing priorities that need to be defined for a first time. Although the situations I discuss are very
different, walking into them with awareness of how you feel and simply giving yourself an opportunity to process feelings can be incredibly helpful and enlightening. Heads up there are TONS of journaling prompts in this one! 

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Ep 250: Boundarying Conflicting Relationships

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