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Headgum & Nicole Byer

Love and dating can be messy—so let’s talk about it! On this multi-award-winning podcast, comedian Nicole Byer explores romantic highs, lows, and all the juicy stuff in between, alongside comedians, experts, and sometimes an ex or two. New episodes every Friday!

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

In 2012, comedian Tig Notaro was diagnosed with invasive cancer, got pneumonia, contracted C. diff, went through a breakup, and then lost her mother - all within four months. Tig joins Nicole to talk about how surviving that period changed her outlook on life, how she rebuilt, and how an ironic “sweet dreams” text turned into the most adorable relationship with her wife Stephanie. They talk about how commitment ended up giving Tig a sense of freedom, finding comedy in the darkest moments in life, raising twins, and her new documentary Come See Me in the Good Light.

Check out Tig's new film, Come See Me in the Good Light, on Apple TV+. And listen to her podcast, Handsome.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your unique gifts this year, go to uncommongoods.com/dateme.

Jones Road Beauty: Use code DATEME at jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Cool Gloss with your first purchase! These sell out fast so get them while they last! 

Quince: Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished, and last— from Quince. Perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

Betterhelp: Visit Betterhelp.com/DATEME today to get 10% off your first month.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Losing Everything (w/ Tig Notaro)

Comedian and friend Oscar Montoya (Dropout TV, Drag Her) is back for another kiki. They talk about the best slutty Halloween costumes, the casual racism in early-2000s fashion, recounts stories of wild audience members, dating someone as a "bit", and Nicole shares the time she officiated a wedding proposal while soaked in toilet water. It's a nice fun time.

See the Bad Drag Race finale in LA Nov 15th, co-hosted by Nicole, Oscar, and Mano. Get tickets here.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsor:

Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your unique gifts this year, go to https://uncommongoods.com/dateme.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kiki-ing (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Boo! Friend and comedian Mano Agapion (Drag Her, We Love Trash) joins Nicole for a Halloween special with a creepy ghost story, a "psychic" sex criminal, funeral planning, and lipstick teeth. Mano recounts the chilling time he saw a ghost in Greece, the so-called astrologer who stuck a finger up his bum, and Nicole shares her plan for a funeral birthday where friends give eulogies while she lies in a casket. Plus, Nicole realizes she's too clingy in her relationship. it’s our most haunted episode yet. Happy Halloween!

See Nicole and Mano live co-hosting Bad Drag Race, on Nov 15th at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

OSEA: Give the gift of glow this holiday with our listener discount on OSEA’s clean, clinically tested skincare. Just use code DATEME for 10% off your first order sitewide at OSEAMalibu.com.

NUULY: Change your clothes! Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code DATEME at Nuuly.com

SquareSpace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why Won't You Scare Me? (w/ Mano Agapion)

Drag queen icon Kim Chi (RuPaul's Drag Race S8, author of Kim Chi Eats The World) joins Nicole to talk about what it’s like to have never dated anyone, and whether she even wants to. She opens up about being afraid to get hurt, growing up with crushes who didn’t like her back, and why are all the conspiracy nuts booed up? Kim shares wild stories from her drag-tour days (including the time she was recognized during a lap dance), having a twink convention show up at her hotel, and story about queens who skip meet-and-greets and cause chaos on tour. Plus, she and Nicole bond over their mutual hatred of Animal Crossing, her love of cottage cheese, and shares easy recipes from her new cookbook Kim Chi Eats The World.

Check out Kim Chi's new book, Kim Chi Eats The World at https://kimchithequeen.com/pages/cookbook

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

Green Chef: Make this fall your healthiest yet with Green Chef. Head to Greenchef.com/50DATEME and use code 50DATEME to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping.

Quince: Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

SquareSpace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

BetterHelp: Visit Betterhelp.com/DATEME today to get 10% off your first month.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Never Dated (w/ Kim Chi)

Model and Drag Race pit crew member Bruno Alcantara joins Nicole to discuss his love for biting (and the time he got kicked out of a bar for it), being barefoot on set of Drag Race, working as a massage therapist and life coach, and discovering he was gay after having a couple of girlfriends. Plus, Bruno gives Nicole a happy ending massage while sharing his best advice as a life coach.

Check out Happy Endings with Bruno on WOW Presents Plus.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support for this episode comes from Bumble. Start your love story on Bumble - bumble.com #bumblepartner

Follow:

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Happy Endings (w/ Pit Crew Bruno)

Drag queen Angeria Paris VanMichaels (Winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars S9) wants your hole pic. She joins Nicole to talk about the etiquette of hooking up with a RuGirl, those confusing “boyfriend things” that blur situationships, and why being the one who always texts first is exhausting.

Angeria opens up about what she really wants in a partner, how she’s manifesting real love after years of being single, and the thrill of the chase. Plus, Nicole receives a sandwich in her email.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Check out Angeria's show, Angie's Drag Corner on YouTube at: youtube.com/channel/UChFN80b8ULqwyix0jIMkVWw

Support for this episode comes from Bumble. Start your love story on Bumble - bumble.com #bumblepartner

Follow:

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Send Me Your Hole Pics (w/ Angeria Paris VanMichaels)

Nurse practitioner and pole dancer Neda Momeni is here and teaches Nicole a lot! From her years as a labor and delivery nurse, she explains what actually happens in the hospital during childbirth and what most people never hear about until they’re living it. She talks about Muslim dating, from family expectations to apps like Minder and her experience using an online matchmaker. Pressure pushed her to marry the wrong man, and she ended up going no-contact with her parents. After cutting ties, pole dancing became her outlet, and a video of her performing in a hijab went viral - sparking both backlash and an outpouring of support from women who she inspired. Plus: a hot tip why you should watch some True Crime.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support for this episode comes from Bumble. Start your love story on Bumble - bumble.com #bumblepartner

Follow:

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Viral Hijabi Pole Dancer (w/ Neda Momeni)

Drag queen, singer, and actress Adore Delano (RuPaul's Drag Race S6, All Stars 2, American Idol) joins Nicole to share stories about hooking up with go-go dancers, filming a sex tape she regrets, and her path to sobriety. She opens up about transitioning twice, the facial feminization surgery she underwent, and her current relationship with a trans man Nicole and Adore swap dating lessons, talk about why a healthy relationship can feel so strange, and discuss why an amusement park date is the ultimate compatibility test.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support for this episode comes from Bumble. Start your love story on Bumble - bumble.com #bumblepartner

Follow:

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hooking Up with Go-Go Dancers (w/ Adore Delano)

Actress Rachel Bilson (The O.C., Broad Ideas) once lost a job over something she said on a podcast. She tells Nicole what that was like, current cancel culture, and why “free speech” doesn’t always apply to everyone. Rachel shares some of her wildest dating stories, from terrible first dates, rejected kisses, and men who love bomb too fast. Also, is it good to call before a first date, or is it unhinged? Rachel discusses what it's like to date in the spotlight, the time she got into a fight with a pig, and teaches Nicole all about Labubus.

Check out Rachel Bilson's podcast, Broad Ideas on Headgum!

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

» Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

» Persona Nutrition: Go to PersonaNutrition.com/Dateme today to take the free assessment and get your personalized daily vitamin packs for an exclusive offer — get 40% off your first order.

» Jones Road Beauty: Use code DATEME at jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Cool Gloss with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #ad

» Nuuly: Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code DATEME at Nuuly.com

» OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code DATEME at OSEAMalibu.com

» Mint Mobile: Quit stalling and start saving when you make the switch. Shop plans at mintmobile.com/dateme.

» Wayfair. Every Style, Every Home.

View all of our sponsors and discounts codes at wwydm.notion.site/sponsors.

Follow:

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sex Talk Got Me Fired (w/ Rachel Bilson)

Rapper and friend Big Dipper (host of Sloppy Seconds) returns to the pod! He and Nicole dive into how he became a bear, the many “gaybels” that shape queer dating culture, and the highs and lows of Bear Week and pig events, from the wild parties to the moments that left him questioning everything. Dipper unpacks the twink vs. bear dynamic and explains compersion - the joy of watching your partner get pleasure from someone else.

He also shares the wild story of a influencer showing up to his sex party to shoot content, why he won’t let Nicole work his gay orgy, and together they ask the important question: are we having a gay recession?

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

» Quince: Keep it classic and cozy this fall —with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

» Persona Nutrition: Go to PersonaNutrition.com/Dateme today to take the free assessment and get your personalized daily vitamin packs for an exclusive offer — get 40% off your first order.

» Betterhelp: Visit Betterhelp.com/DATEME today to get 10% off your first month.

» Swindled Never After: Order Swindled Never After now! http://bit.ly/41dQoqL

View all of our sponsors and discounts codes at wwydm.notion.site/sponsors.

Follow:

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hosting a Sex Party (w/ Big Dipper)

Actress and activist TS Madison (judge on RuPaul's Drag Race) is here for a heartfelt chat on her journey from being a viral TikTok sensation to a vocal advocate for trans rights, and all of the unseen struggles she faced in navigating systemic biases. She discusses doing sex work for survival, shares real examples of the transphobic harassment she receives to this day, and her relentless efforts to forge a better future. This episode is a raw exploration into the battles and victories that come with being Black, trans, and unapologetically visible.

Content Warning: This episode contains audio clips featuring transphobic harassment which may be disturbing for some listeners. 

 

See Nicole Byer live on tour! Get tickets at nicolebyerwastaken.com.

 

Follow Nicole Byer: 

Twitter: @nicolebyer

Instagram: @nicolebyer

Merch: podswag.com/dateme

Nicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcending Norms (w/ TS Madison)

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