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Your Favorite Band Sucks

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Let’s review: there’s no good art and it’s a red flag for adults to have a favorite band. Naturally, most of you will disagree. That's fine. Just pretend it's a drinking game. An algorithm randomly assigns the band Mark & Tyler destroy in every episode. Start on one everybody knows is trash, like The Beatles. But soon you'll realize culture is a pyramid scheme and your favorite band is just the soundtrack to a fake vintage t-shirt. (Get Ad-Free Episodes Here: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/subscribe)

Yeah, yeah. You think we think we're edgy for saying The Beatles suck. No, they really do suck. They made bad music and you should feel bad for liking it. Unless you already agree with us, in which case, welcome to your new favorite podcast. The Beatles took American music and sold it back to us with accents and stupid haircuts. Why are we supposed to be impressed? Oh, because they were the first ones to... Wait, they weren't the first ones to do anything important? What's going on here? Mark thinks if The Beatles are your favorite band then you don't even like music. Tyler doesn't disagree. Hear why The Beatles don't deserve credit for anything other than how much they suck on the first episode of Your Favorite Band Sucks.

The Beatles Suck

If you think the Rolling Stones are "cool" then you probably tried to join the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle gang at some point. They're not cool. They never were. They were told how to dress and how to talk. Even they know they suck at making music because they've only put out two albums in the past, like, twenty years and one of them was just a bunch of stupid covers.

The Rolling Stones Suck

This has to stop. Nobody asked for it and nobody wants it. Christmas music is canceled. If we all come together on this then we can make it happen. How would that be for a Christmas miracle?! We dedicate this episode of Your Favorite Band Sucks to anyone who has ever worked retail in the month of December. You didn't deserve that.

Christmas Music Sucks

Is U2 the single most overrated band on the planet? They very well may be. Saying that U2 sucks is like saying that passing a cluster of kidney stones sucks. Words don't do it justice. Still, Mark and Tyler have bad things to say about U2. Very bad things. The Edge has never even been able to play guitar. Bono seems to have a total lack of self-awareness from day one. Side note: can we please get a petition going to ban him from being in documentaries and/or continuing to be a massive hypocrite on political issues?

U2 Sucks

This is what would happen if Derek Zoolander started a band. Next time New York City comes up with some trash like this, do everyone a favor and keep it to yourselves. LCD Soundsystem sucks so hard, their own fans got mad at them for getting back together. That's pretty bad, right? Would anyone know or care about this band if dude hadn't founded DFA Records? No, they would not. Mark and Tyler break it down.

LCD Soundsystem Sucks

Don't feel bad for listening to Mark & Tyler dump on Green Day. They deserve it, maybe more than any other band on the podcast so far. They've stolen more songs than Led Zeppelin, their big political statements are all BS and, well, they suck. In defense of Green Day, everyone who has accused them of selling out is an idiot. This band never started (or stopped) sucking for monetary gain because they have always sucked. Too old for their schtick? Check. Hypocrites? Check. Amateur hour with the booze? Check. Song thieves? Check.

Green Day Sucks

The Police hate being called white reggae, which is weird because this is what happens when a self-admitted "fake punk band" tries to rip off reggae. Your super-spiritual aunt thinks Sting is enlightened and she's wrong because Sting is audio blackface. Some guy who hasn't bought a new album in 15 years thinks Stewart Copeland is a phenomenal drummer and he's wrong because Copeland is one of the most overrated musicians in history. Nobody thinks anything about Andy Summers. The Police suck.

The Police Suck

Alright, hands off of each other. The circle jerk is over. Radiohead's sound went from an unoriginal whine to a mess of incompetent IDM. Then, they got to work making it harder for young artists to get a leg up in the business. Mark thinks Limp Bizkit is for sure a better band than Radiohead and he's probably right about that. Tyler thinks Radiohead ruined music criticism forever. Also, it's worth listening to the music business dork discussion on In Rainbows' release strategy to get to the part after that about how this band was rejected by James Bond himself. This episode was recorded several months ago but the guys had time to come back and add more thoughts on Thom and company ripping off The Hollies, now that they want to come after Lana Del Rey for doing the same thing. Radiohead sucks.

Radiohead Sucks

Tool is the official soundtrack of thinking you're smarter than everyone else. Caveat lector, edgelords. We're coming straight for the chinks in your armor. In this episode, Mark and Tyler treat a dissection of Tool with all the respect the band deserves, which is none. The formula to create this product is laughably easy. There's a reason Tool fans have a reputation as some of the worst people in America - they are. Listen, realizing you're an idiot is never easy but try not to overreact, okay?

Tool Sucks

Calling Interpol a Joy Division ripoff is so much more than they deserve. Rocking gun holsters onstage seems a lot less cool these days, huh? Yeah, so does this entire band because Interpol sucks! Learn how to not get on board the wrong hype train! Find out what "their first album was good but everything after that is bad" really means! Discover several bands you need to be listening to if you ever thought it was acceptable to own an Interpol album! Don't even try to read their lyrics...

Interpol Sucks

Life IS too short so listen to this and learn exactly why you should never waste another second of your existence hearing Sublime. Everyone with a brain in their head already knows that Sublime sucks, right? The answer is yes. Maybe you think you've got a good idea of how much this band sucks. Trust us, it's worse. There is so much awful information waiting for you in this episode. Honestly, this may be a Top Ten Worst Band of All Time, people. And if you don't believe that, hey, press play and let us know how you feel after listening.

Sublime Sucks

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