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Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour 

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This week on Your Mom's House Podcast, Tom and Tina are back together and in the spirit of the season, connect with legendary cool guy, Mr. "We Up Outta Here" himself, Tony Johns! Before getting on the phone with Tony, we open the show with a banger track to honor the passing of Chuck Woolery. Tom and Christina also reminisce on some of the fun clips he's contributed to in past YMH episodes. They next open the show with a classic Tony Johns clip before Tom addresses some firings from last week and some new faces in the booth. Christine pivots the conversation to discuss Tom's nose and theories on his true heritage. Tom then plays a clip from a Congressional hearing about some shady practices of major American airlines. The two also check out a Tony Valli clip, check out some art featuring Tom as famous serial killers, watch a very informative Will Blunderfield clip, and then give Tony Johns a call to see what he's up to. There are also a bunch of TikTok's, a new Pazsitzky Effect, and so much more! WOOOOOO WE UP OUTTA HERE!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 789

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Checking In With Cool Guy Tony Johns | YMH Ep. 789

Jeff's new special Last Cowboy In LA is out right now on youtube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwRz8rvGizI&t=2s

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Ho Ho Ho, chomos! It's almost Christmas and Tim y Tina are already into the holiday spirit this week on Your Mom's House Podcast. Tom opens the show with some deserving apologies from the Booth Boys, who are back with some handwritten letters expressing their regret from laughing at his life or death moment. Tom also brings up a clip from an old YMH episode showing how concerned he was when Christina was choking on the show and he didn't laugh or mock her. They next open the show with a clip of a pro fisherman with a really cool last name. The Main Mommies also share some huge news about Charo, talk about UHC CEO shooter Luigi Mangione's thirst traps, share their thoughts on American Nightmare, and react to some disappointing news about Tony Johns.

Tom and Christina are then joined by the last cowboy in LA, Jeff Dye! He's got a new special out and he's got a lot of thoughts on big city girls in boots and dresses. The mommies talk to him about taboo jokes, offensive last names, politicians on podcasts, Trumps weight loss, dumb girls stuff, then they check out some Horrible or Hilarious clips, and some of Christina's curations! Merry Chrysler to all, happy holidays to some, don't forget your Uvers, and to all a good night!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 790

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Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790

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Happy New Year, Mommies! Tom and Christina are back to begin the new year with a reflection on the annual YMH Christmas party and the shenanigans of everyone's favorite staff member, Chris Larson. Tom also brings up a moment from the past when Christina was choking on the show and he didn't laugh or mock her. They also talk menopausal haircuts and review a tribute to Tom's nose twin, John Amos. 

Tom and Christina are then joined by alleged cannibal, actor, and podcaster Armie Hammer! Armie sets the record straight and details how his kinks and morally ambiguous behavior sent him from Hollywood to a timeshare desk in the Cayman Islands. Presently, Armie is slowly working on a comeback and opens up and tells his story to the Main Mommies in his own words. It's a fascinating discussion that includes, rope binding, heart consumption, redemption, and loving somebody so much you want to smash their face into a dresser. Try this one out!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 791

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Just Lemme Eat Ya w/ Armie Hammer | Your Mom's House Ep. 791

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Tom and Christine are back and open the show with a very creative criminal, before paying tribute to OG cool guy, Hard Rock Nick, who was recently shuffled from this mortal coil. Christina P also unveils another drawing of Tom inspired by his now infamous choke. Next, Tommy continues the fan powered campaign to convince Charo to start an OnlyFans account and plays some fan submissions we've already received. There's also a Fancy Chef update, Tina tells a petting zoo story, and the main mommies have a new game to play with drive-thru workers.
Tom and Christina are then joined by comedian and tin foil hat enthusiast, Sam Tripoli! The three talk about parental stuff, before deep diving into some fun conspiracy talk. They discuss, the drones over New Jersey, the mass surveillance in everyday life, the CIA, Tom Hanks, and more. They also talk about insane Japanese game shows, Mr. Hands, and the harmful effects of going viral. Christina also presents an interesting "would you rather?" question and they sprinkle in some solid horrible or hilarious clips for good measure. Try it out!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 792

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Chapter Markers 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:34 - Opening Clip: Treat Me Like A Black Man
00:07:10 - Rest In Peace Hard Rock Nick 
00:14:26 - Christina's Latest Creation 
00:17:49 - The Mommies Want A Charo OF
00:22:22 - Clip: Russian Fart Streamer 
00:22:52 - Fancy Chef Update 
00:31:12 - Clip: Drive-Thru Prank
00:35:33 - Petting Zoo Story
00:40:14 - Clip: White Big Word
00:48:04 - Dad Stuff With Sam Tripoli 
00:53:45 - New Jersey Drones & Surveillance States 
01:02:41 - Clip: All Terrain Accident
01:03:13 - Spiritual Conspiracies & Tom Hanks
01:10:50 - Clip: Wind Knocked Outta Ya
01:11:42 - Crazy Japanese Game Shows 
01:14:17 - Clip: Splits Machine
01:14:43 - Mr. Hands
01:22:45 - Clip: BMX Hard Landing
01:23:55 - Showing Sam The Opening Clip
01:26:28 - Would You Rather?
01:32:20 - Clip: Loving Couple
01:33:53 - Closing Song - "The Big Words" by Kurtis Caramel Carbon
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Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792

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It’s another episode of YMH with Todd and Christine! This week, Tom Segura and Christina P attempt to convince Enny to go on a men's retreat led by the Double Soul Shaman Will Blunderfield, before opening the show with a heaving clip of a guy drinking a Cinnamon Toast Crunch inspired drink. They also clown on Hilaria Baldwin, have some fun with accents, weigh in on an anti-transition lenses crime, and watch some more clips of some mommies who really want Tom's mom to open her OnlyFans account.

Former News anchor, author, and true crime journalist Susan Hendrick joins Tom and Christina to discuss murderers and Tom couldn't be more excited. They discuss some infamous crimes from the last few decades, including the JonBenét murder, the Menendez murders, Gabby Petito, and BTK. Susan also talks about why people find murderers so fascinating, that feeling you get when you can recognize a person is a killer, and shares many anecdotes about her time covering some truly twisted crime stories. Tom and Christina are really licking their chops for this one!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 793

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Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:39 - Opening Clip: Cinnamon Toast Crunch 
00:07:08 - Clip: Will Blunderfield Toilet Talk 
00:08:16 - Will Enny Do A Men's Retreat?
00:19:14 - Clip: Hey Black Men
00:23:28 - Clip: A Real Manly Dentist 
00:24:45 - Clip: Dennis Quaid Loves Jesus
00:26:30 - Randy Quaid Loves Not Paying Taxes
00:31:05 - Clip: Man Eats Bar 
00:32:07 - Hilaria Baldwin Back On Her Bullsh!t
00:34:50 - Fun With Accents
00:38:19 - Clip: Misgendered Crime 
00:42:36 - The Mommies Want Charo's OF
00:47:10 - Susan Hendricks Talks About Murder 
00:51:49 - Why True Crime Stories Are Fascinating 
01:04:02 - JonBenét & Menendez Brothers 
01:16:12 - Luigi Mangione 
01:29:16 - Gabby Petito & Feeling A Killer 
01:39:19 - Clip: Brian Cohee Jr 
01:42:58 - America Loves A Blonde Woman Murder Story 
01:51:55 - The Night Stalker & LA Wildfires 
01:56:35 - Into The Fire & Down The Hill
02:03:43 - Closing Song - "Cucumber" by Ramsay McQueen
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Murder, Mystery, And Mommies w/ Susan Hendricks | Your Mom's House Ep. 793

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She's baaaaaack!!! The Fart Mistress herself, la madre de Tommy, Charo is in the mommy dome, joining Tim and Kristin for some fun clips and a lot of coffee. The trio talk about Charo's star making turn at their recent vacation, Charo's new life living in Austin, the LA wildfires, the happy birthday drive-thru prank, and the feedback they've received from the mommies about Charo's OnlyFans. Speaking of that, Tommy spends most this episode trying to convince her that it's an amazing idea, because duh, it's the best idea. They also check out some TikToks, Charo reacts to some Horrible or Hilarious clips, and Charo gets pretty lit by the end of this thing. There's also an incredible banger of a closing song by the one and only Will Blunderfield to wrap the whole thing up. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 794

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GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY).
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Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:04 - Charo Is In The House 
00:03:27 - Opening Clip: Happy Trail Bear
00:06:02 - Vacation Star 
00:15:57 - CharOFans
00:26:21 - Clip: Thumbs Way Up
00:31:20 - Clip: Piss Nuke
00:32:36 - Horrible Or Hilarious
00:36:25 - Ad Break
00:41:12 - Notting Hill
00:47:05 - Clip: Will Blunderfield's Stink Portal
00:48:29 - Clip: Hazing
00:49:34 - LA Wildfires
00:53:43 - Clip: Feeling Good Forever 
00:56:14 - Squirrels
01:00:35 - Bridge & Facial Enhancements 
01:05:33 - Clip: Dancing Sloppers 
01:07:32 - Happy Birthday Drive Thru Prank
01:17:49 - Extremely Serious 
01:25:31 - Time To Clean Up The Act
01:31:19 - TikToks
01:38:10 - Classic Charo Voice Clips 
01:48:40 - Closing Song - "I Love Smelling My Farts" by Will Blunderfield
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Tom's Mom Joins OnlyFans | Your Mom's House Ep. 794

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It’s another episode of YMH with Tom Segura and Christina P! This week, Mama and Papa Jeans open the show with a new clip from Unc Shine once again looking to get all up in ya. They next discuss poop protocols and cool guy consistencies, before they recap the unhinged insanity of last week's Charo visit. They also check out a very cool tattoo submitted from a fan and check out some clips before being joined by the Uncle Fester of comedy, Jim Norton.
Jim Norton is currently navigating the podcast scene after just recently departing from SiriusXM. He joins the Main Mommies and they discuss the intricacies of being a "we", his marriage to a trans woman, the future of human sexuality, the unforgettable Patrice O'Neal, the genius of Greg Giraldo, and the clever tweets of Colin Quinn. They also talk about the evolution of cancel culture and if it truly is on it's way out, before Tom shows Jim some clips that are truly horrible or hilarious!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 795

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Chapter Markers 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:34 - Opening Clip: Unc Shine Wants Those Nips
00:05:26 - What's Your Protocol?
00:08:13 - Unc Shine Is Consistent 
00:13:41 - RPC 
00:16:29 - Recapping Charo's Visit 
00:19:40 - The Choke But In Tattoo Form 
00:22:37 - Clip: Kevin Samuels 
00:26:02 - Jim Norton Can't Save You
00:31:38 - The Royal "We"
00:37:04 - Married To A Trans Woman
00:41:41 - The Future Of Human Sexuality?
00:45:12 - Closers, Touring, & Podcasting 
00:48:44 - Cancel Culture 
00:54:07 - Jim Norton’s Crew Of Comedy Greats 
00:57:00 - Vandalism Is Funny 
01:02:52 - Brendan Walsh
01:07:45 - Colin Quinn & Dave Attell 
01:11:56 - The Best Of The Best
01:17:47 - Classic Comedies 
01:22:15 - Horrible Or Hilarious 
01:29:30 - Closing Song - "Gay Questions" by MC FluidBond & DJ GlassGender
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The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795

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Hey mommies, this week it's just Tom and Tina doing what they do in the place where they do it. Valentime's Day is around the corner so the Main Mommies check out some ideas Fancy Chef has cooked up, before opening the show with a dude who's not ashamed to admit his burying skills. They also watch a user submitted happy birthday drive-thru video, recall some classic clips from William Tapley aka the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, speculate on Norm Summerton's whereabouts, congratulate YMH President Emma Hix on winning best POV Anal scene at the AVN awards, ridicule some gypsies, and Christina faces her fears and takes on a gauntlet of puke clips. They also check out some TikToks, horrible or hilarious clips, and other weird and wild vids from the darkest corners of the internets. What do you think Unc Shine is saying in Nikki Minaj clip? Let us know below!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 796

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GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY).
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1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms . Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK.

Chapter Markers 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:13 - Valentime's Day Right Around The Corner 
00:05:49 - Opening Clip: Bury My Face In It
00:13:09 - Christina Makes A Great Point 
00:15:57 - Happy Birthday Drive-Thru 
00:19:32 - Clip: Unc Shine Wants Some Nikki Minaj 
00:26:43 - Clip: BIPOC Anthem 
00:30:43 - William Tapley The Third Eagle Of The Apocalypse 
00:34:32 - Clip: Norm Summerton
00:35:28 - Clip: Bruce Bruce Saying Bert's Name Wrong
00:36:31 - The Romani People 
00:43:10 - Gauntlet Of Puke
00:53:23 - Horrible Or Hilarious
00:58:02 - Clip: Upper Back Pain Removal 
00:58:58 - Clip: Flossing Nurse
01:01:01 - Congratulations To YMH President Emma Hix
01:02:41 - TikToks
01:16:04 - Closing Song - "I Got Diarrhea" by Ali XieZer
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Christina Faces Her Deepest Fears (It's Puke) | Your Mom's House Ep. 796

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It’s another episode of YMH with Tom Segura and Christina P! This week, Mama and Papa Jeans open the show with a clip of a cool guy who wants to go fishing with Hitler, before diving into some clips of another talented artist who whistles. They next check out some back shot advertisements from Tony Johns and Christina makes a proposition to Tom about her ideal man.

Fresh off the farm, Tom Green enters the mommy dome to share what he's been up to lately and to discuss not one, but two different projects about his life floating around in the streaming world. They also talk about his classic Subway pranks, an appearance by Joe Rogan on Tom Green's show back in the day, and watch clips of fan submitted happy birthday drive-thru pranks. Tom Green also experiences some horrible or hilarious clips and Christina's TikToks, and invites the mommies to speculate on Garth Brooks.

Your Mom’s House Ep. 797

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Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:30 - Opening Clip: Fishing With Hitler
00:07:26 - Clip: Dana White Addresses The Dummy 
00:15:02 - The World's Greatest Whistler 
00:21:28 - Clip: Tony Johns Advertising Backshots 
00:23:13 - Clip: No Soy Boys
00:23:49 - This Is The Type Of Guy You're Gettin'
00:29:26 - This Is The Tom Green Segment 
00:36:55 - Happy Birthday Drive-Thru Pranks
00:44:40 - Clip: Tom Green's Subway Order
00:50:24 - Clip: Karen Getting Arrested
00:52:54 - TikToks
00:57:59 - A Normal Life
01:11:23 - Clip: A Barrel Roll 
01:14:20 - Horrible Or Hilarious
01:17:31 - Garth Brooks
01:22:34 - Closing Song - "Moose Soup Remix" by Matt Mercer
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Tom Green Wants Garth Brooks Closure | Your Mom's House Ep. 797

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Hey Hitlers this week the Main Mommies got some stories for you! They took a trip to Sedona to chill out, they tried out a sound bath, Tina farted in somebodies face, and o'l Tommy Bunz even tried DMT, cause why the fuggg not? We open the show with a clip revealing Victoria's REAL secret, before Tim and Christine check out some clips featuring the talented whistler Ralph Giese, another funny way to say Bert Kreischer, the dangers of holding in farts, and some white ladies standing up for black women. Speaking of black chicks, who are you more afraid of: black chicks, cholas, or white boys? They also speculate on why the service industry isn't as strong post-COVID and Christina makes a plea for Candace Owens to come on to discuss the conspiracy theory about the French Prime Minister's wife being a man. All this and more...this week on Your Mom's House!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 798

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Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:45 - Sedona Sound Bath & The Queen Of Farts
00:08:49 - Try It Out Tommy 
00:17:14 - Opening Clip: Victoria's REAL Secret 
00:21:10 - Clip: Whistling The Hits 
00:24:12 - Clip: Bert Kershire 
00:27:11 - Clip: Danger Farts
00:30:40 - Clip: Trust Black Women
00:32:44 - Clip: BIPOC Anthem 
00:35:16 - Clip: Charo Disney Employee 
00:36:13 - The Service Industry 
00:43:59 - Clip: This Guy Really Hates Guy 
00:58:35 - Happy Birthday Drive-Thru Pranks
01:01:54 - Clip: Jaden Smith's Castle Hat
01:02:26 - Goth Tom 
01:04:35 - Clip: Spirit Airlines Throw Down
01:06:08 - Black Chicks, Cholas, & White Boyz 
01:14:46 - Clip: Eye Witness News
01:17:08 - Clip: Are You Dating A Misandrist?
01:19:28 - Clip: Open Defacation TED Talk
01:23:33 - A Message To Candace Owens 
01:30:44 - Some TikToks
01:34:30 - Closing Song: "10 Milli Tom" by Rick G
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Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798

Ain't nothin in life free. P***y would be at the top of that list, especially for an ex-pat roided out Aussie pimp handling his Thai ho's. Make sense? Dude has some good points and a LOT of job stoppers (you'll soon understand). A man violated the safety and sanctity of our neighborhood in front of Tina and inTO a Yoplait (possible future sponsor?). We go to the Forensic Files to see if we can solve the case! Do families that masturbate together just, basically, get along the best? We just don't know. Tina left behind a life in the KGB to come to the US of A and today is the anniversary. Will she be allowed to stay? Obama decides! Wiping with a MAN'S wipe is new for Lady Jeans. We can't wait for her review. Most IMPORTANTLY we break down the new and accepted criteria for crowning the You Know What I'm Sayin Champion and it's a real GAME CHANGER. It's spring time, get that seasonal denim out! 
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210-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

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