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Kirk Zurosky

Welcome to a world where mythological creatures mess up their relationships just like we do. With a forever ex, the drama never goes away!

Immortal vampire assassin Sirius Sinister learns this the hard way after being served divorce papers by Bloodsucker Number One—a shady woman from his past—he realizes there's a major problem: he was never even married to her, or so he thought. Regardless of the truth, Sirius is put under the jurisdiction of Immortal Divorce Court.

You would think by now he’d know having sex can lead to horrific consequences like marriage, children, and ex-wives—but some habits just won’t die. Leaving his faithful vampire Maltese, Garlic, behind, Sirius travels to court to defend himself with the help of his demon attorney, Maximillian Justice. Unfortunately, the trial quickly spirals out of control, and Sirius is banished to hell for a hundred years.

When Sirius finally escapes, he ends up in the Caribbean where he meets his next paramour: the Howler. After a wild romp with his new werewolf lover under the lure of a full blood moon, he finds himself becoming the father of a litter of pups—but, the Howler and her Pack want to put the dead in deadbeat dad. Luckily, Sirius is saved by the Queen of the Merfolk, who comes with a hidden agenda even as they fall in love. Can he make it work with the Queen, or will he have to head to Immortal Divorce Court once again as yet another relationship flounders?

For all those who have nursed a broken heart—or a vengeful one—Immortal Divorce Court Volume 1 is a sexy, exciting debut and the start of a hellishly fun new series about the flawed antihero Sirius Sinister.

Patrick Zeller

Daddy Issues Publishing

Immortal Divorce Court

Immortal Divorce Court Volume 1: My Ex-Wife Said Go to Hell

Sirius Sinister has always been a bit of a know-it-all, but in order to save the world, he’s going to need a serious education!

The Lady of the Underworld has cast Sirius Sinister out of her fiery realm and into the icy Himalayas to teach him a lesson in humility. Hades can be a real bitch, but self-doubt is even worse. It’s here that Sirius and his vampire Maltese, Garlic, battle for their immortal lives against menacing wolves and crazed snow demons.

After leaving the mountains, Hedley Edrick, the Master of Masters, leads Sirius to the Queen, but their reunion is quickly interrupted by some murderous merfolk. Escaping to the House of Indigo, Hedley informs Sirius about the mystical Seven Sacred Relics, and warns him that the forces of evil will gain limitless power if they get their hands on them. Sirius wants a life of sunshine, rainbows, and glitter for his daughters, so there’s no way he’s going to let unspeakable evil muck that up!

To prepare for a battle over the Relics, Hedley sends Sirius to Florence, Italy to be enlightened by the incomparable, rainbow-haired bookworm, Knowledge. After gaining an impressive education, a spot on the faculty at the College of Immortals opens up, which Sirius happily accepts. It’s not long before he realizes that simultaneously teaching young immortals, balancing parenthood, and taking on the forces of evil is a test the world cannot afford him to fail.

In Immortal Divorce Court Volume 2: A Sirius Education, the story of Earth’s most notorious vampire continues with adventure and intensity, as Sirius Sinister seeks the answers to the questions that plague him. Can Hedley Edrick, the Master of Masters really be trusted? Or is he simply using Sirius as a pawn in a much more dangerous game? And, perhaps most troubling of all—will Sirius ever be comfortable with his daughters dating?

Immortal Divorce Court Volume 2: A Sirius Education

Happily ever after may just turn into happily never after!

The thrilling saga of the world’s most legendary vampire and his loyal friends continues in Immortal Divorce Court Volume 3, and the stakes are raised in an epic fight of good versus evil. This time around, wedding bells ring as Sirius Sinister prepares to walk Mary Grace down the aisle. Unfortunately, malevolent forces are plotting to ruin the big day. 

With the theft of the Moon of Madrid, and Baron Orcinus building a new undersea fortress from which he can wage war, the battle to form the Blood of the One is imminent. Joined by Breeze, the shockingly sexy elf, and Hopkins, a wimpy werewolf, Sirius is charged with leading a new mission: to find the perfect weapon for good. On top of this, the father of the bride has to ensure the vows of Mary Grace and Lovely can safely occur, while preventing the forces of evil from turning the couple’s nuptials into a bloodbath. 

As everything comes to a head on the wedding day, Sirius struggles to prevent chaos and destruction from crashing the party. By putting the battle to create the Blood of the One and the Relics aside for even just one day, Sirius fears his greatest nightmare will become a reality. With all his enemies in league against him, will they succeed in annihilating him and everyone he loves? “Until death do us part” might actually not be that far away . . .

Immortal Divorce Court Volume 3: Who Doesn’t Love a Wedding?