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When it comes to feedback, communication issues rarely stem from the specific words chosen. Instead, they often arise from the emotional and mental associations that the person receiving feedback brings to the conversation.
Take, for example, James, a father coaching his twin daughters’ soccer team. When offering the same feedback to both girls, he notices starkly different reactions. Emma, one of the twins, interprets his words as encouragement. Her sister, Clara, however, hears criticism. By shifting his approach and using more positive, appreciative language for Clara, James successfully fosters enthusiasm in both daughters.
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