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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

In this highly emotional episode, Zachariah opens up about the hustle of landing that first big breakout role, while Jonathan pitches his true dream job to the sharks: designing elaborate mini golf courses!! Can you imagine? How freakingg fun. We also dive into the glory of Suite Life legend Kim Rhodes and her HashtagBoyMom MOMMY energy, an off-brand Aura Ring that trapped a man (and his finger) at the airport, and the unbearable pain of plucking nose hairs. Plus so much more, you're so welcome ;)

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Score spooky deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Marcella Baietto. “Philadelphia Cheesemonger Becomes First American to Win First Place in World Cheese Competition.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, 28 Sept. 2025.

➜ Rob Thubron. “Samsung Galaxy Ring Swells and Crushes User’s Finger, Causing Missed Flight and Hospital Visit .” TechSpot, 30 Sept. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

156 - Uh-Oh! Zachariah Can't Act!

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose innocent caffeine fix turned into a lifelong core memory of shame, a camper who gave birth to a celebrity, and became the reluctant face of dairy in her county, and t truly scary story about a camper whose weekend retreat became the reason she’ll never rent a cabin again. 

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dairy Princess Meet and Greet (I Lived It) - Trail Mix #105

In this episode, we wander off the beaten path. Literally. We are sharing highly important stories about finding hidden forest trails and why being in the woods feels like our ultimate happy place... until three soaking-wet off-leash mongrel ran straight out of a river and tackled Zach mid-hike. Natr'lly, then this episode takes a turn with a teacher arrested for a fart-spray prank, a bizarre kindergarten art heist in Australia, and the unsinkable Geoffrey Giraffe and the comeback of Toys “R” Us. 

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Download Cash App Today! As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Escher Walcott. “S.C. Teaching Assistant Arrested for Allegedly Releasing Fart Spray, Causing $55K Damage and Making Students ‘Physically Sick.’” People Mag, 24 Sept. 2025. 

➜ Lana Lam. “Australian Kindergarten Asks Parents to Pay Thousands for Their Children’s Art.” BBC News, 24 Sept. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

155 - Your Soaking Wet Dog Jumped On Me Twice

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who found out book clubs aren’t always about books, a camper who brought home more than bargain from the thrift store, and a camper stuck in a Girl Scout Final Destination moment.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Haunted Zucchini Bread - Trail Mix #104

Let's get LOUUUUUUD! (scream it like j-lo hosting a cruise pool party) This week at Camp Shady Birch, things are getting louudddd. (ok im done lol) We kick things off with a hella overstimulating dining experience. Then, like your stomach after too much custard, the energy shifts as we follow the unbelievable story of three nuns on the run. The of course there is the sweetest story of Chewy, a nasty little shih tzu with a big personality who’s found his forever home bringing joy to the residents of a retirement community.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Christopher F. Schuetze and Jim Tankersley. “The Plot to Free the Nuns.” The New York Times, 6 Sept. 2025.

➜ Nathan Frederick. “Mangy Shih Tzu Wandering Streets Gets New Home as 75 Seniors in a Care Home Unite to Adopt Him (LOOK).” Good News Network, 14 Sept. 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

154 - From Sisters to Shih Tzus

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who just wants one-on-one time with her best friend, but keeps finding the girlfriend tagging along, a camper who turned Facebook sleuthing into a full-blown wedding exposé, and a truly scary story about a camper’s mom who woke up in the middle of the night to sounds coming from down the hall. 

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

EXPOSING a Her Cheating Husband - Trail Mix #103

Saddle up, campers!! We went to our first rodeo, yall! In this episode, we dive deep into the wild wild world of bull riding. Bedazzled cowboy hats, cowgirls doin the ole do-see-do, and not a single funnel cake in sight.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed Veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.)

➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x 

As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Works Cited:

➜ Andrew Kurjata. “Man Arrested after Driving Child-Size Pink Barbie Jeep through Town.” CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 8 Sept. 2025. 

➜ Lisa Kwon. “ He Crossed 26 Miles in a Kayak Made from Mushrooms – and Lived to Tell the Tale.” The Guardian, 7 Sept. 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

153 - Actually, This is My First Rodeo

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose birthday gift to a frat boy was pure humiliation, a camper who is scarred from her time at Spa Camp, and a camper who took a hike and lost a little piece of their dignity.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Post-Shave Coochie Itch - Trail Mix #102

This week at camp, we came face to face with something we feared... our parents meeting for the first time ever. We also rediscovered some love for the lost art of digestifs, and Zachariah shares what it’s really been like since he quit vaping. Then we hear a tale of an old woman in love with an astronaut, a server who rescued a raccoon mid-shift, ranted about overly complicated makeup tutorials, and aired out the absolute LOSERS who are adamant about keeping the shades on airplanes closed... LOVE YAS!

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.

➜ Score spooky deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340

Works Cited:

➜ AFP-JIJI. “Over the Moon: Fake Astronaut Scams Lovestruck Japanese Octogenarian.” The Japan Times, 3 Sept. 2025.

➜ Lisa Steacy. “B.C. Server Jumps into Ocean Mid-Shift to Rescue Drowning Baby Raccoon.” CTVNews, 5 Sept. 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

152 - The Social Experiment we call LIFE

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who floated down a river and straight into HR trouble, a camper with a little critter in her car (and things are getting worse), and a tale of turning heartbreak into a halftime show.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

EXPOSING a Her Cheating Husband - Trail Mix #103

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