Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

231. Secret Signals: Why We Rarely Say Exactly What We MeanWhy what isn’t said can communicate more than what is spoken. We often speak in hints and half-truths, not because we can’t be direct, but because subtlety protects our relationships. “An awful lot of the time, we don’t just blurt out what we mean,” says Steven Pinker. “We hint, we wink, we beat around the bush — counting on our listener to read between the lines, connect the dots, catch our drift.” Pinker is the Johnstone Professor of Psychology at Harvard University, a celebrated linguist and cognitive scientist, and the author of twelve influential books. His latest, When Everyone Knows That Everyone Knows: Common Knowledge and the Mysteries of Money, Power, and Everyday Life, explores how our shared understanding of awareness — what Steven refers to as common knowledge — and the way we signal it, governs everything from friendships to authority to negotiations. “Common knowledge is what ratifies or annuls social relationships, and that's why blurting something out that contradicts the assumptions of the relationship can blow everything up and be deeply awkward.” In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Pinker joins host Matt Abrahams to discuss why humans lean on innuendo, euphemism, and strategic ambiguity. They examine how culture and context shape what we hear, why our social fabric depends on more than just literal meaning, and offer practical ways to refine our communication by paying attention not just to what we say, but to what others know we know. To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium. Episode Reference Links: Steven Pinker • Steven’s Book: When Everyone Knows That Everyone KnowsEp.91 Um, Like, So: How Filler Words Can Create More Connected, Effective CommunicationEp.225 Speaking Fluent Internet: How Algorithms Are Changing the Way We Speak • Connect: Premium Signup • >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback • >>> hello@fastersmarter.io Episode Transcripts • >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning • >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart • >>> LinkedIn • , Instagram • , YouTubeMatt Abrahams • >>> LinkedIn Chapters: • (00:00) - Introduction • (02:17) - Why We Speak Indirectly • (06:33) - The Role of Context • (10:29) - Cross-Cultural Perspectives • (11:45) - Hypocrisy as Social Glue • (13:37) - Clarity, Conciseness, & Grace • (17:01) - Metaphors We Live By • (20:03) - The Final Three Questions • (23:59) - Conclusion ***** Thank you to our sponsors. These partnerships support the production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost. This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Think Fast Talk Smart listeners can get started on your language learning journey today- visit Babbel.com/Thinkfast and get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription. Support Think Fast Talk Smart by joining TFTS Premium.

238

25 min

228. Negotiate Your Way to Success: Empathy, Mirroring, and LabelingBe ready, stay grounded, and communicate clearly — no matter what’s at stake. Communicating under pressure isn’t just a useful skill — it can be the difference between escalation and resolution. For Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and CEO of The Black Swan Group, it’s a daily discipline built on empathy, self-regulation, and intentional listening. In this expanded conversation from our Spontaneous Speaking miniseries, Voss offers a rare window into the mindset and methods that helped him show up calm, focused, and adaptable when the pressure is sky-high. “Emotional intelligence is an insane accelerator to outcomes,” Voss shares, explaining how empathy, tone, and timing can shift the direction of any conversation. He breaks down techniques like labeling and mirroring, explores how to use silence and word choice strategically, and explains why overthinking can be just as risky as acting too fast. From gut-level pattern recognition to tactical use of voice, Voss shows how communication becomes more impactful when we’re not trying to control — but to connect. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Voss and host Matt Abrahams dive into how negotiation techniques developed for life-or-death situations can be applied far beyond them — offering powerful takeaways for anyone who needs to think clearly under pressure, stay agile in the moment, and communicate effectively when it matters most. Episode Reference Links: Chris Voss • • Chris’s Book: Never Split the Difference Ep.197 Prep or Perish: Mastering In-the-Moment Communication (1 of 3)Ep.198 Pause and Effect: Mastering In-the-Moment Communication (2 of 3)Ep.199 Blunder Pressure: Mastering In-the-Moment Communication (3 of 3)Ep.203 No Script, No Problem: Final Secrets to Speaking Under Pressure (Bonus) • Connect: Premium Signup • >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback • >>> hello@fastersmarter.io Episode Transcripts • >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning • >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart • >>> LinkedIn • , Instagram • , YouTubeMatt Abrahams • >>> LinkedIn Chapters: • (00:00) - Introduction • (02:30) - Path to Hostage Negotiation • (03:22) - Power of Emotional Intelligence • (04:40) - Staying Calm Under Pressure • (05:50) - Mental Prep & Mindset • (06:58) - Trusting Your Gut • (07:38) - Avoiding Overthinking • (08:41) - Flexibility in Negotiations • (09:55) - Listen More, Talk Less • (10:11) - Labeling & Mirroring • (12:31) - Tone Shapes Impact • (13:46) - The Final Three Questions • (19:15) - Conclusion ***** Thank you to our sponsors. These partnerships support the production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost. This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Think Fast Talk Smart listeners can get started on your language learning journey today- visit Babbel.com/Thinkfast and get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription. Support Think Fast Talk Smart by joining TFTS Premium.

235

21 min

Episodes

Loe ja kuula

Teistele meeldisid ka ...