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Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Book Preview: 

#1 The motto To be open is to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable is to be weak underlies all the defensive maneuvers we use in war. We use this same rule of war when talking to each other, thinking that being guarded and closed is our best protection.

#2 We can become defensive when we feel a need to protect ourselves from being hurt or controlled. We protect our ego, our self-image, when we talk to others, rather than protecting our body.

#3 When we react defensively, treating even a loved one as an adversary, we stop seeing the complexity of the other person’s motivations. We see the other person’s reaction only in terms of how it is directed at us, as if they were an enemy approaching in battle.

#4 When we are defensive with each other, we create emotional walls that prevent us from understanding that most people, like us, just want to live their lives.

Summary of Sharon Strand Ellison's Taking the War Out of Our Words

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