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Roy Panen

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

Daniel, eighteen years old, blind, and gay, longs for a man to love. But his longing becomes too strong to cope with.

Being both blind and gay, plus being alone in it, torments him big. And it feels like there is no hope left.

It gets even worse after he fails to bump on his best friend Ragnar, who is also blind and lives in Norway.

Life gets more and more tangled up, and one day the cup runs over and he doesn’t want to live anymore. And he decides to end it all – his torments.

But things get in the way and after two suicide attempts, he comes to a better mind and realizes that he has to accept that he is blind and gay, and to dare to hope to soon meet the man of his life.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)

Roy Panen Bokförlag

SHORT STORIES LONGING

SHORT STORIES LONGING Suicide Attempts

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

Kim, 21 years old, gets into big trouble when his girlfriend reveals that he also likes men.

And until now, he has been busy hiding his bisexual orientation and wrapping it up in countless lies, so as not to risk Camilla leaving him.

Beautiful and wonderful Camilla, with whom he is so in love, who has also become his weapon-shield, but who only succeeds in filling one half of his heart, while the other is involuntarily drawn to men.

Their relationship is in full swing and he needs to find a way out, with a good lie that she buys.

And she is very firm and sharp with him, but also very upset and sad.

Now it takes a lot of him to win her over to his side again and with that row the boat ashore.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)

SHORT STORIES LONGING Revealed Gay

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

Daniel’s mother has huge problems with bullying at her job at the hospital.

The coworkers bully and mock her because she cares a lot about her son, Daniel, who is seventeen and a half years old and blind.

The bullies find it hard to care, and they lack both love and empathy for Britt.

The problems grow and Britt feels an increasing mental illness. She has to call in sick, and at home she turns to alcohol to numb her anxiety.

Daniel gets enough and helps mom. He gets them a new place to live in another city, and he helps her take revenge on the bullies, especially Mona who is the one driving the bullying.

There will be a huge circus in mother’s department and many co-workers are now regretting their bad behavior.

Britt gets a big vindication and she leaves everything with the flag on top.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)

SHORT STORIES LONGING Adult Bullying

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

It is not easy for Daniel to find a positive way forward when the boredom of everyday wears and tears at the mental.

He tries to go about his day, but it’s hard sometimes, especially since he misses a lot when he’s blind.

Mom comes home and is in a bad mood. She’s probably depressed too. She complains about their poor finances. But really, like Daniel, she feels a longing for a man to love and be loved by.

Daniel has broken the juice jug and cuts himself on shards of glass. This causes mom to turn around and become very soft and loving towards him. He asks for money to buy a new pair of pants, but regrets it and ignores it.

But then the mail arrives with a payment notice, and mom wants to give him this money. She asks him to also buy a new shirt.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)

SHORT STORIES LONGING Derailment

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

Daniel goes to town to buy trousers. In a park he meets a little boy, Amir, and they become very curious about each other.

Amir takes an interest in Daniel’s disability, and he gets to try walking with his white cane.

Amir gets Daniel’s red cap with the Swedish flag, and Daniel gets to feel Amir’s body with his fingers, to better know what he looks like.

A little distance away, Amir’s mother stands and sees a young man pawing at her son. She becomes insane and lectures Daniel so that he falls into a fountain basin.

Amir stops mom’s fight. And mom now understands that everything has been a mistake.

She apologizes to Daniel, hugs him and praises him for being very nice to children.

Daniel is very wet and chooses to postpone the purchase of trousers. He wants to go home.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)

SHORT STORIES LONGING Mis Flow

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

Kim has big problems with the fact that he likes both girls and boys.

And after he meets Camilla, she also has to become a kind of protection for him by not being exposed for his attraction to boys. And now only Camilla matters.

He does everything to hide and shut down his feelings for guys. He is also trying to get rid of his few gay things, such as photos, books, and videos. But it is not going so well.

He comes to terms with his past, ends his acquaintance with his former boyfriend. Although this one has difficulty understanding. He does not want to accept and tries to persuade Kim to dare to live out his gay side.

Although Kim has decided to stick with Camilla. She has always stood up for him. And she is beautiful and makes him happy.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)

SHORT STORIES LONGING Double Life

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

Daniel goes with his mother and her friend Anita to a dance at a community center.

He feels a little lonely at the dance, but is soon courted by a woman his mother’s age. And this woman is rogue and plans to have sex with him out in the woods

In a place in the forest, she has hidden a bottle of liquor, which she now wants to share with him. She thinks, if he gets a little alcohol in his body, he will be hot on the porridge.

But Daniel doesn’t want her alcohol or sex with her.

He shows his disinterest and when he says he’s gay, she gets turned off and leaves him alone in the woods.

He becomes depressed, drinks, and empties the liquor bottle she left behind. He gets drunk and passes out.

Soon mother and others are out looking for him.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)

SHORT STORIES LONGING Attempted Rape

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

Kim is overwhelmed by the fact that his girlfriend Camilla has cooked good food for them.

He gets into trouble with her suspiciousness about a porcelain frog. And in the hall is a note written by Kim’s ex-boyfriend, who once again tries to persuade him.

Kim makes up a white lie, which Camilla accepts.

Much love ensues and Kim surprises her by putting a ring in her pastry.

There will be love on the balcony and they make each other very happy.

Kim talks about his bad home relationship, about how his father abused him throughout his childhood.

And he talks about when he physically broke up with dad, when he was seventeen, and ran away from everything, home to his best friend and his dad.

And together with friends, they go out on the lake and camp on an island. Kim and Camilla give each other a lot of love.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)

SHORT STORIES LONGING Hetero Love

This short story is taken from Want to Be with You : Longing.

On the way to the lake, Daniel meets Amir, who has big problems with bullies.

Daniel helps him with the bullies. Although it is difficult as he is blind. And the boys show no respect.

Amir goes along to the lake, and on the way the troublemakers reappear. And the bullying gets worse.

Daniel calls the police and files a police report.

But the bullying escalates and becomes really dangerous. But this time, inspired by the movie Karate Kid, Amir defends himself against the boys.

Amir loves to bathe, but he can’t swim. Daniel teaches him to swim.

On request, the police come to the lake and take up a crime report, and secure evidence. The bullies have both urinated and spat on Amir.

The police seek out the boys, and one of them, Filip, repents. And now he shows greatness by persistently begging Amir for forgiveness.

Amir and Filip become great friends.

(For more information and sample reading, see: www.panen.se)