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Rick Gualtieri

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE DARK. BILL RYDER ISN’T ONE OF THEM.

Prepare to sink your teeth into the first FOUR novels of the hilarious Tome of Bill series – over 1000 pages of epic horror comedy that will leave you in stitches.

Gamer, Geek, and Legendary Vampire – Bill Ryder is an unlikely hero trying to survive in a world of undead horrors. Despite awesome powers, loyal friends, and a Brooklyn-sized attitude; the odds are stacked heavily against him. Bill must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors threatening it – all while trying to build some semblance of a social life.

BILL THE VAMPIRE

Bill Ryder was a dateless geek until he met a girl to die for - so he did. Sadly for him, that was just the beginning of his troubles.

SCARY DEAD THINGS

One of the most powerful vampires in the world wants Bill Ryder’s head. A pint-sized princess wants the rest of him. Too bad it's not clear which fate is worse.

THE MOURNING WOODS

A war is brewing between the vampires and bigfoot, ancient enemies since the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed.

HOLIER THAN THOU

On the eve of war, The Icon – legendary enemy of the vampire race – has arisen. There’s just one small catch: Bill Ryder is in love with her. Panic is about to break out within the ranks of the undead and Bill is caught smack dab in the middle of it.

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Join Bill in these laugh-out-loud tales of terrifying monsters and middle-fingered mayhem. If you enjoy The Dresden Files, The Nate Temple series, or The Preternatural Chronicles, then you’ll want to dive right into this bloody good time.

Get ready to die laughing with The Tome of Bill, the quintessential vampire comedy series!

Christopher John Fetherolf

Freewill Press

The Tome of Bill

The Tome of Bill collection - Vol 1: Books 1 - 4

My name is Sally. For over thirty years I’ve prowled the night, one of the undead. In that time I’ve walked amongst you – a wolf in sheep’s clothing – doing unspeakable things, killing countless people.

Now, on the eve of Armageddon, a chance for redemption presents itself. My past has come looking for me, beckoning me back to the city of my rebirth.

Those who killed me the first time are intent on finishing the job. I’m outnumbered and outgunned, but they’re sadly mistaken if they think for one second that I’m outclassed.

Unspeakable horrors, both old and new, await me in the City of Sin, but in the end they’re all going to learn one very painful lesson: Payback is a Bitch.

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Sunset Strip (a Tome of Bill adventure) is a dark vampire fantasy with a ton of attitude by bestselling fantasy author Rick Gualtieri.

Tome of Bill Series note: this story takes place between the events of Holier Than Thou and Goddamned Freaky Monsters.

Trish McKinnley

Sunset Strip: A Tome of Bill Adventure

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE’S NOT ONE OF THEM.

Loud-mouthed gamer Bill Ryder thought the dice had finally rolled in his favor when he met Sally. Sadly, his triumph quickly turned into a critical failure - leaving him at death’s door with his throat torn out.

Now he’s a vampire, trapped in a world of monsters that are stronger, deadlier, and a hell of a lot cooler. They’re giving him just ninety days to prove he has what it takes to be an apex predator of the night, assuming he doesn’t give them a reason to dust his ass sooner.

This game isn't over yet, though. Turns out a vamp like Bill hasn’t been seen in centuries. He’s got a few tricks up his sleeve, unexpected allies, and an attitude that's too obnoxious to quit. He’ll need all that and more if he doesn’t want to end up even deader than last time.

Join him in this hilarious tale of bloodthirsty beasts, gory mayhem, and an unlikely hero who's still at the bottom of the food chain.

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Bram Stoker meets The Big Bang Theory in Bill The Vampire – book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that’ll leave you thirsting for more.

Perfect for fans of Shayne Silvers, Steve McHugh, Jim Butcher, and What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from start to finish.

Don’t miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to sink your teeth into a world of undead mayhem and gut-busting humor.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Bill The Vampire: A Comedy of Undead Proportions

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE STILL ISN’T ONE OF THEM.

Bill Ryder, the trash-talking geek from Bill the Vampire, is back and about to find himself in a whole new world of side-splitting insanity.

One of the most powerful vampires on the planet wants Bill’s head. A crazed immortal princess wants the rest of him. It’s a toss-up which fate is worse.

All the while, new and powerful forces have begun to emerge from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Knowing his luck, do you even have to ask?

Bill’s only hope for survival is to marshal his friends, master his powers, and somehow prove that, in a world of supernatural terrors, he’s the scariest dead thing of them all.

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Join Bill in his quest to survive the hilarious horrors of Scary Dead Things – book two of The Tome of Bill, the quintessential vampire comedy series.

Looking for a must read for fans of thrilling fantasy, gut-busting humor, and unforgettable characters? Then get your hands on Scary Dead Things now and plunge headfirst into a world where the undead are anything but dull!

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Scary Dead Things: A Horror Comedy Catastrophe

THREE WORDS: VAMPIRES VERSUS SASQUATCH.

Bill Ryder – gamer, geek, and legendary vampire – is back in his wildest adventure yet.

A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have – Lord help us all!

The leaders of the vampire nation dispatch Bill to a faraway land in order to broker peace with an army of angry Sasquatches, but it’s not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it.

Now he must rely on his friends, master his fledgling powers, and use every four-letter word in his vocabulary to stop the war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods.

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Experience a hilarious adventure like never before with The Mourning Woods – book three of the bestselling Tome of Bill horror comedy series.

If you love The Dresden Files, The Nate Temple Series, The Rebellion Chronicles, or The Montague & Strong Case Files, then the Tome of Bill series is sure to trample your funny bone like an angry bigfoot.

Don’t miss out! Click Buy Now to join Bill Ryder on this unforgettable quest into hysterical horror today.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

The Mourning Woods: A Horror Comedy Bloodbath

THERE ARE REASONS THE UNDEAD FEAR THE NIGHT.

Bill Ryder – gamer, geek, and legendary vampire – has woman troubles. The girl he wants is deadly to him. The girl who wants him is deadly to everyone else. He’s trapped in the most lethal love triangle he can imagine and it’s only going to get worse.

On the eve of war, The Icon – ancient foe of the vampire race – has arisen. Panic is about to break out within the undead ranks and Bill is caught smack dab in the middle of it. Destiny has placed them on a cataclysmic collision course, but there’s just one small catch: he’s in love with her.

Now he finds himself in a race against supernatural assassins to save the person fated to destroy him. Talk about being damned if you do.

Unsure of his allies and outnumbered by enemies, Bill must dig deep within himself and find the faith to succeed – because if he fails, it’ll be more than just his social life in tatters.

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Holier Than Thou, book four in the bestselling Tome of Bill series, is a paranormal dance with death, destiny, and trying to get a date.

If you’re a fan of Shayne Silvers, Jim Butcher, Domino Finn, or Kevin Hearne, then this hilarious vampire comedy series is a must-read!

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric douchebag humor, and lots of asshole monsters

Holier Than Thou: A Horror Comedy Calamity

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. NOW HE’S TRYING TO STOP THEM.

Three months have passed since the fateful encounter in New York City that ended with the disappearance of Bill Ryder – gamer, geek, and legendary vampire. Now he’s back – reawakened halfway across the globe with no allies, clothing, or clue as to how he got there. The only thing he’s certain of is that his captors plan to use him for their own nefarious ends and don’t care how much blood they spill in the process.

Escape might be the least of his worries, though. Civilization teeters on the brink of chaos. Mythical beasts, once thought the stuff of fantasy, are breaking through the veil, intent on waging war against mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil, the last remnant of a people thought long dead, and it’s about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times.

Bill’s only chance is to reclaim his life, reconcile with his friends, and muster every bit of attitude he can – because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just another corny saying.

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Goddamned Freaky Monsters is a hard-hitting vampire comedy that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Fans of The Nate Temple Series, The Dresden Files, or The Montague & Strong Case Files, will want to unleash this hysterical adventure today.

Don’t miss out on this thrilling and hilarious escapade into a world of monsters, magic, and middle fingers.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Goddamned Freaky Monsters: A Horror Comedy Nightmare

TERROR LURKS BELOW AND IT’S ABOUT TO SURFACE.

The end of the world is rapidly approaching, but Bill Ryder – gamer, geek, and legendary vampire – finds himself with more pressing concerns to worry about: the women in his life. Sidelined from action, he’s forced to reevaluate his feelings. Sadly for him, it’s a luxury he can ill afford.

An unstoppable terror from the dawn of time has awoken deep beneath the Earth and is headed his way. To make matters worse, he’s been deemed a traitor by those he thought to be his allies. Now he finds himself fighting off enemies from all sides while warring with his emotions. Talk about sucky timing for introspection.

As the world crumbles to pieces around him, Bill must muster his courage, master his powers, and rise to the destiny he’s been trying so long to deny – because if he doesn’t, his love life will be the least of his worries.

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Half A Prayer takes you on an action-packed journey filled with hilarious twists and spine-chilling encounters. For fans of Shayne Silvers, Jim Butcher, John P Logsdon, or Kevin Hearne, this vampire comedy series is an absolute must-read.

Don’t miss out on this thrilling rollercoaster! Click Buy Now to lose yourself in the captivating world of The Tome of Bill today.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Half A Prayer: A Horror Comedy Misadventure

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. NOW HE MUST BECOME ONE OF THEM.

Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. It’s time for the gamer, geek, and legendary vampire to embrace his fate. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he’s destined to face. It’s his only chance of stopping Armageddon.

As his enemies stand in his way and his allies falter, the vicious beast inside of him wants out. If he stands tall and faces his fate, the world might just have a chance of surviving. If he fails, an unquenchable evil will destroy everything Bill knows and loves.

Why can’t the end of the world ever be easy?

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The Wicked Dead delivers a rollercoaster ride of bloody fight scenes, geeky in-jokes, and breakneck-paced action, offering the perfect vampire must-read for the 21st-century adult. For horror comedy fans who crave humor, suspense, and unforgettable characters, this installment of The Tome of Bill series will sink its teeth straight into your heart.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Buy The Wicked Dead to watch this nerdy vamp fight for his life today!