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Louise Rennison

READ BY LOUISE RENNISON. Brilliantly funny, teenage angst author Louise Rennison’s first audiobook about the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson.

There are six things very wrong with my life:

1. I have one of those under-the-skin spots that will never come to a head but lurk in a red way for the next two years.
2. It is on my nose.
3. I have a three-year-old sister who may have peed somewhere in my room.
4. In fourteen days the summer hols will be over and then it will be back to Stalag 14 and Oberführer Frau Simpson and her bunch of sadistic 'teachers'.
5. I am very ugly and need to go into an ugly home.
6. I went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive.

Follow Georgia's hilarious antics as she tries to overcome the dilemma’s that are weighing up against her, and muddle her way through teenage life and all that it entails: how to replace accidentally shaved-off eyebrows; how to cope with Angus, her small labrador-sized Scottish wildcat; her first kiss with Peter – afterwards known as Whelk Boy; annoying teachers; unsympathetic friends and family, and how to entice Robbie the Sex God! Phew – she’s really got her work cut out!

HarperCollins

Confessions of Georgia Nicolson

Angus, thongs and full-frontal snogging

READ BY LOUISE RENNISON. Brilliantly funny, teenage angst author Louise Rennison’s second audiobook about the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson.

What is the matter with my life? Why is it so deeply unfab?

 • It's a day and a half now since I snogged the Sex God…

 • I think I have snog withdrawal. My lips keep puckering up…

 • I tried snogging the back of my hand, but it's no good…

 • It's been over a week. I wonder if it's my nose…

 • I have a HUGE nose that means I have to live for ever in the Ugly Home.

‘It’s OK, I’m wearing really big knickers!’

READ BY LOUISE RENNISON. Brilliantly funny, Louise Rennison’s fabby third audiobook download on the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson.

Jas said, "Well, what happened?"
And I said, "Well, it was beyond marvy. We talked and snogged and then he made me a sandwich and we snogged and then he played me a record and then we snogged."
"So it was like…"
"Yeah… a snogging fest."
"Sacré bleu!"
Jas looked like she was thinking which is a) unusual and b) scary.
I said, "But then this weird thing happened. He had his hands on my waist, standing behind me."
"Oo-er…"
"D-accord. Anyway, I turned round and he sort of leaped out of the way like two short leaping things."
"Was he dancing?"
"No… I think he was frightened of being knocked out by my nunga-nungas…"
Then we both laughed like loons on loon tablets (i.e. A LOT).

‘Knocked out by my nunga-nungas.’

READ BY LOUISE RENNISON. Brilliantly funny, Louise Rennison’s reads her fourth book ‘Dancing in my nuddy pants’.

"Yeah… a snogging fest."
"Sacré bleu!"
Jas looked like she was thinking which is a) unusual and b) scary.
I said, "But then this weird thing happened. He had his hands on my waist, standing behind me."
"Oo-er…"
"D-accord. Anyway, I turned round and he sort of leaped out of the way like two short leaping things."
"Was he dancing?"
"No… I think he was frightened of being knocked out by my nunga-nungas…"
Then we both laughed like loons on loon tablets (i.e. A LOT).

Enjoy the vair hilarious exploits of Georgia and her pals in this special bumper 2-in-1 edition.

Dancing in my nuddy pants

11.20 a.m.
This is my fabulous life: the Sex God left for Whakatane last month and he has taken my heart with him.
11.25 a.m.
Not literally of course otherwise there would be a big hole in my nunga-nungas.
11.28 a.m.
And also I would be dead. Which quite frankly would be a blessing in disguise.
12.00 p.m.
It is soooo boring being brokenhearted…

…but Georgia doesn't remain brokenhearted for long: frequent snogging extravaganzas with old flame, Dave the Laugh, and the arrival of jelloid-knee-inducing Italian Stallion, Masimo, mean Georgia has her work cut out to be the composed sex-kitten that she aspires to be.

Follow Georgia's hilarious antics as she desperately muddles her way through teenage life and all that it entails: make-up disasters, rapidly expanding nunga-nungas, school – urgh, unsympathetic friends, highly embarrassing family (and pets) and, of course, BOYS.

‘… and that’s when it fell off in my hand.’

Brilliantly funny, teenage angst author Louise Rennison’s sixth book about the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson. Follow up to the hilarious number one bestselling hardback “…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.” Read by Louise Rennison.

Laugh your socks off at Georgia’s tales from her trip to Hamburger-a-gogo land, and her attempts to entice Masimo, the Italian stallion. Can Georgia become the composed sex-kitten she aspires to be…? Surely not!

‘… then he ate my boy entrancers.’

Sound the Cosmic Horn for bestselling author Louise Rennison’s ninth book of the confessions of crazy but loveable teenager Georgia Nicolson!

Now that Georgia has finally won over gorgey Masimo, the Italian Stallion, her old friend and lip-nibbling partner Dave the Laugh has popped up again. Will Georgia go to Pizza-a-gogo land to visit dreamy Masimo? Or could her perfect boy be closer than she thinks. A Sex Kitty’s life is never simple…

More hilarious confessions from our fave teen drama queen, Georgia Nicolson.

‘Stop in the name of pants!’

Sound the Cosmic Horn for bestselling author Louise Rennison’s tenth book of confessions from crazy but loveable teenager Georgia Nicolson!

It’s the FINAL instalment of Georgia's fab and hilarious diary!

Does Georgia escape the cakeshop of luuurve?

Can there be more heartbreaknosity in store?

Will the Sex God pop up again unexpectedly (oo-er)!

And what about the supreme accidental snogmaster Dave the Laugh?

Will she FINALLY choose her only one and only?