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#1 There are only weak correlations between how others see us and how we believe we are seen. And while we don’t always realize it, we are very likely operating under two very flawed assumptions: first, that other people see us objectively as we are, and second, that other people see us as we see ourselves.
#2 You are difficult to read, and you don’t do enough to make yourself knowable. Your emotions are not as obvious as you think, and your face is not as expressive as you think it is.
#3 To be more judgeable, you must make information about yourself available to others, and it should provide evidence of the particular qualities you are trying to convey. People who are more judgeable are psychologically better adjusted, and they are happier.
#4 The second reason those core assumptions - that you are seen objectively and that you see yourself the way you see yourself - are flawed is that the information other people get from you and about you is always given meaning through interpretation.
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