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#1 I knew nothing about Bognor Regis before I went there for the first time. I had heard that some British monarch, at some point in the past, called out the words Bugger Bognor just before expiring.

#2 The king chose Bognor not because he had any special affection for it, but because a rich friend of his named Sir Arthur du Cros had a mansion there called Craigweil House, which he offered to the king for his private use. The king died six years later, and the town petitioned to have the word Regis added to its title.

#3 The town of Bognor Regis is not such a bad place. It has a long beach with a curving concrete promenade, and a town center that is compact and tidy, if not thriving. But the residents of the smart houses on the promenade pretend not to see us on the beach, because they are afraid of being seen by their neighbors.

#4 I was excited about taking a bus to Brighton, and I had carefully selected the 12. 19 as the best bus for my purposes. But as I ambled to the bus stop, I watched in mild dismay as my bus departed just ahead of a cloud of black smoke.

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