Broke

These poems were mostly written in 1987 while recovering in Clifton, Bristol in England. It heralded the start of a huge change for me, and I felt broken. The love of my life had just come to a messy end, and I’d been hitting the LSD too hard. Things felt beyond my control, and I now had to learn how to wait-out the wounds for the first time. I began to write, to compensate for the anxiety and emotional state that I was struggling with.

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Bullets of Madness - I’m standing awaiting caught in commotion as the voices call through a veil I hear them and fear them even need rescuing they make me aware of the nail that drives through our senses when alone it commences to obsess me in sweet delusions the nail it pierces my heart as it fleeces the last of courage from my mansion as I tasted the apple I quaked and my rattle fell out from my innocent hand I learnt of your lessons obeyed your deceptions and was made to fit into your plans and now I can feel the noise of the void as the motion slows to a halt feels like I’m dying I’m scared of trying to make sense just to please them all I was shot down as the black limousine slowed to a glistening halt the devil climbed out his gestures obscene my fears all came bleeding out I knew he would laugh as I fell to the ground he had won the final bout shot with bullets of madness or bullets of sadness my heart ached ‘til it wanted to stop I can’t understand you my mind burns with fire I always just wished to belong alone is no home just broken desire I’ve been shot down for being in love

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