Candide

This audiobook is narrated by an AI Voice. Candide grows up in the castle of a Westphalian baron, tutored by the philosopher Pangloss in the doctrine that this is the best of all possible worlds and every disaster in it serves some invisible good. He believes this completely, right up until he is caught kissing the baron's daughter Cunégonde and kicked out into a world that seems determined to prove Pangloss wrong: press-ganged into an army, flogged, shipwrecked, and present for an earthquake that levels a city in minutes.

From there the catastrophes only accelerate — the Inquisition, the slave trade, war in South America, a visit to an impossible utopia he cannot bring himself to stay in — while Candide keeps searching for Cunégonde and keeps meeting Pangloss again, disfigured a little further each time, still reciting the same optimism over the wreckage of his own body. Voltaire built the whole book as a machine for testing one idea against the worst the eighteenth century could throw at it, and lets his hero draw his own conclusion about where philosophy actually gets you.

Published in 1759 and banned within weeks in Geneva and Paris alike, Candide is the sharpest satire Voltaire ever wrote and still one of the funniest books in the French language, its horrors delivered in a tone so brisk and cheerful that the comedy and the cruelty never separate. This new translation keeps that speed, because the pace is the joke.

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