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YMH Studios

Weekly, comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour

SPONSORS:
- As always, get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com 
-Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears
- Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning for FREE at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS.

This week, Bert and Tom dive headfirst into the weirdest brain rot rabbit holes yet — from testing out VR porn ("you can see her fillings!") to auditioning more OnlyFans submissions, one of which that includes… a unique Por Osos bottle cameo. The Bears also pitch a business idea for a grown-man “locker room,” debate how Bert's woke daughters compare to Tom's redneck sons, and discover the world’s wildest dogs and cats. Plus: Jelly Roll’s 5K transformation, Savannah cats that look like mini-lions, and Bert’s desperate plan to sneak another puppy past Leanne.
It’s sex robots, freeze porn, fat-to-fit inspiration, and pet chaos all rolled into one classic 2 Bears, 1 Cave mess.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 309

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:22 - Jimmy Kimmel and Tylenol
00:08:17 - New Interest
00:15:54 - What The Kids Are Into
00:27:48 - The Bears Draft A Prospect
00:38:32 - The Locker Room Experience
00:46:18 - Jelly Roll
00:52:10 - Cane Corso vs. Dogo Argentino vs. Savannah Cat
01:01:14 - Wrap Up

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Tom and Bert's Favorite OF Submissions | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour

SPONSORS:
- Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave.
- Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.
- For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS.
- Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod 

This week, Tom Segura is joined by one of the greatest one-liner comedians in the world, Jimmy Carr!
Tom and Jimmy dive deep into the craft of comedy, comparing Carr's laser-focused joke construction to Bert Kreischer's chaotic storytelling. Jimmy reveals his controversial (and hilarious) take on
marijuana legalization—mandating it for people over 50—and the tragic role of "cheap dopamine" in modern life, from social media to porn. The conversation touches on global comedy culture, the
variable reward system that drives stand-up and casinos , and why the live comedy experience is 30 times funnier than watching a special alone. Jimmy Carr also gives his final, wishful prediction for how
Bert Kreischer will die. Plus: Why the 21st Century is just the 20th century on better screens, the long wait for GTA 6, Jimmy's hilarious interactions with Stephen Hawking, the importance of gratitude, and why Tom should have read the Quentin Tarantino book. Don't miss a conversation that is smart, insightful, and packed with the sharp, dark wit that only Jimmy Carr can deliver!

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 308

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:19 - The Mechanisms Of Reward
00:10:08 - The Spectacular Death Of Burt Kersher
00:15:51 - The Times They Are-A-Changing
00:28:51 - Weed Takes
00:37:22 - The Privilege of Pressure & Boredom
00:43:36 - Beautiful People
00:53:56 - Boinking Bert
00:59:02 - James Bond & GTA 6
01:06:11 - Quentin Tarantino
01:12:47 - Wrap Up

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Phones Are Making You Unfunny w/ Jimmy Carr | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary.
- Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears
- Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave.
- If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! #viiaparter 

In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, James Gunn joins Tom Segura to talk filmmaking and the state of the entertainment industry. Gunn opens up about directing Superman, the pressures behind it, and the relief of its success. He also discusses his role as co-head of DC Studios, building a decade-long DC universe, and the bold choice to reshoot five and a half episodes of Peacemaker with a new Vigilante.
Tom and James bond over grounded storytelling, casting decisions, and the balance between comedy, superhero films, and CGI. They also touch on the return of comedies to theaters and how the industry continues to evolve.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 307

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:45 - Peacemaker, El Tigre, & Grounded Aesthetics 
00:08:24 - Big Screen Comedy
00:22:04 - Hitting The Creative Lottery With Superman
00:32:59 - The Writing Process & Juggling Big Budgets
00:41:16 - Special FX & Special Actors
00:47:57 - Batman
00:55:53 - Star Wars
01:00:12 - Guardians Of Fun
01:04:11 - Serious Filmmaking & "Ripley"
01:08:36 - Casting Highs & Lows

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

James Gunn's Superheroes Are Flawed But Funny | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started.
- Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod 
- Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears.
- Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com

Hey look, it's your favorite podcast hosts, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! This week in the cave Bert kicks things off with a brand-new joke he swears is the best thing he’s ever written, before diving into an emotional (and hilarious) story about his late bull mastiff, and the wild twist involving the family dog's long-lost sister. From there, the Bears riff on straight cat dads, Bert’s “sleep divorce,” VR porn addictions, childhood prank calls, and even the lost art of memorizing phone numbers. Bert even calls his dead grandma and chit chats with scam caller live on air.
The episode only gets wilder as Tom and Bert review real OnlyFans submissions from fans, debate who should be the first official “2 Bears OF star,” and spiral into some truly insane pitches that only these two maniacs could come up with.
Plus: speech impediments, Elmer Fudd racism, trolling stories, gambling breakdowns from NFL Week 1, and Bert trying to recruit Zac Efron into a shirtless golf fantasy with their new NIL athlete. This might just be the best episode of this show in a long ass time, don’t miss it.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 306

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:41 - Dogs & Cats
00:08:59 - VR Corn
00:17:30 - Memorizing Geography
00:23:24 - Memorizing Phone Numbers
00:31:35 - Prank Calls
00:37:59 - We Got Some OF Prospects
00:49:50 - Speech Impediments
00:53:45 - NFL Week 1 Gambling 
00:59:51 - Bert Wants To Adopt Athletes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bert Calls His Dead Grandma | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS.
- Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks, get half off your first year with promo code BEARS at https://www.monarchmoney.com/bears
- As always, get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com 
- Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears
- Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS.

We're sorry, guys! Tom and Bert are back in the cave with a full plate: Druski’s viral NASCAR “whiteface” sketch and the art of deep-cover character work, a big “Would you die for your country?” debate, and discuss why streaming giants (Kai, Adin, Jack, etc.) have completely remixed entertainment. Plus, Tom relives an electric college football weekend (FSU at home against Alabama = goosebumps), Bert admits he tried to move a 400-lb armoire and declared himself top 0.5% strong in the city, and the guys hatch a chaotic million-dollar plan to manage an OnlyFans creator—will it work? Is white-face really back? Is Bert making things up? Watch and find out! 

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 305

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call eight seven seven eight HOPENY or text HOPENY (four six seven three six nine). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Fees may apply in Illinois. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. See https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. NFL Sunday Ticket offer for new subscribers only and auto-renews until cancelled. Digital games and commercial use excluded. Restrictions apply. Additional NFL Sunday Ticket terms at https://youtube.com/go/nflsundayticket/terms. Limited time offer.

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:30 - Druski Doing White Face
00:10:54 - Streamers Ruined The Military
00:17:32 - Would You Die For Our Country?
00:26:25 - Kam Patterson
00:33:20 - Another Tour
00:38:25 - College Football Weekend
00:49:42 - Let's Become OF Boosters
00:59:17 - Bert's Fight With LeeAnn
01:05:28 - Wrap Up

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is White-Face Cool Again? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS.
- For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS
- Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave 

Bert and Tom are BACK in the Cave! After a memorable summer takeover by Stavvy and Chrissy D, the OG Bears return to catch up on everything—movies, standup, gambling, insane diets, and why Bert can’t stop eating 10 egg bites at once. Tom opens up about his recent cancer-screening scare, which led to a brutal five-day water fast, and accidentally dropping 25 pounds while filming El Tigre. Bert shares why his watch doesn’t fit anymore, how he tormented his director by throwing Liquid Death cans at 4 AM, and the disgusting way he measures his weight.
The Bears also dive into the future of late-night TV, Amy Poehler’s move into podcasting, their own TV and film projects, and Bert’s insane plan to bet $1,000 every week on the Bucs. Plus: family visits on set, Isla living like a diva in Bert’s trailer, Tom’s boys discovering fake cocaine, and both Bears gearing up for the upcoming NFL and NCAA football seasons! 

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 304

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778HOPENY or text HOPENY (four six seven three six nine). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Fees may apply in IL. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. See sportsbook dot draftkings.com/promos. NFL Sunday Ticket offer for new subscribers only and auto-renews until cancelled. Digital games and commercial use excluded. Restrictions apply. Additional NFL Sunday Ticket terms at https://youtube.com/go/nflsundayticket/terms . Limited time offer.

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:07 - The Final Episode Of 2 Bears
00:09:36 - Tom's New Movie & Free Bert
00:21:47 - Why Tom Got So Skinny
00:33:23 - Bert Is Fat
00:42:04 - Family Visits + America's Team
00:45:48 - Bert's Big Bet
00:54:05 - Is Tom Down?
00:58:49 - A Bert Game Show?
01:01:45 - Wrap Up
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gambling With Our Lives | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour

Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets

SPONSORS:

- Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.

- Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com

The Summer Bears’ reign has unfortunately come to an end! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for their last fill-in as hosts of 2 Bears 1 Cave, and they’re going out with a bang. From roasting Tom and Bert’s absence to spiraling into wild tangents about parenting, moving, sex robots, and pie diplomacy with the NYPD, this send-off is chaotic, hilarious, and the perfect finale.

Stavvy and Chrissy talk about the shock of how much fans loved their takeover, whether they’d ever come back as the Fall Bears, and even get Bert on the phone. Tom of course doesn’t pick up. But that's okay, because Mark Normand and Sam Morril crash the party near the end, bringing eclairs and stomach bugs to help close things out.

It’s been a wild six weeks, and the Summer Bears want to leave you with one last memory. You're welcome, f*ckers!

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 303

https://tomsegura.com/tour

https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour

https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:01 - The Summer Bears' Last Dance 

00:10:10 - Stoic Shit + Jump Scare Ad Break

00:17:14 - Moving Around & Finding Peace

00:24:12 - Bribing Cops With Pie & Being Addicted To Losing

00:33:06 - ChatGPT Sex Robots

00:41:26 - Swingers & Phoning It In With Bert

00:55:22 - Mark Normand & Sam Morril
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Summer Bears Phone It In w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour

Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets

SPONSORS:

 
Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears

 
Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears.

 
If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! #viiaparter

 
Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started.

Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another sugar-fueled Summer Bears meltdown—this time with bagels, tiramisu, and enough food guilt to keep a Catholic therapist booked for years. The boys break down Chris’ ChatGPT pep talk, reminisce about Stavvy's golden toothless years, and spiral into a deep dive on Neapolitan ice cream fraud, gay NFL cheerleaders, and the politics of bagel orders. Also: Chris reveals his VO2 Max results from a flamboyant fitness coach who may or may not have called him “zaddy.”

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 302

https://tomsegura.com/tour

https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour

https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:00 - 2 Pigs, 1 Pen

00:12:45 - Catholic Guilt Vs Greek Shame

00:23:33 - Sexual Awakenings In Mom's Bed

00:30:31 - A Demeaning Offer & ChatGPT Pep Talk

00:43:50 - Social Media & Rage For The Gays

00:52:01 - Men In Women's Sports

01:00:02 - Zaddy Chris
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Audience Is Gonna Hate Us w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod 
- For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS

The Summer Bears are back and Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are fully locked into their takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Stav in a floral shirt and Chris squeezed into a Darryl Strawberry jersey, the two dive headfirst into tales of the wild ‘86 Mets, Kevin Spacey offering unsolicited shoulder rubs, and the horrifying science of ALS—because what’s funnier than degenerative nerve disease? Stavvy also gets a massage from Chrissy, we learn about Lenny Dykstra's podcast rates, and the guys debate polyamory, prostitutes, and just how many years Bert Kreischer has left.

Speaking of Bert, he sends the guys a morbid video asking them to predict which comedian friends are not long for this world. Plus, Stav makes a strong case for becoming a Japanese-style husband, Chris recounts a near-affair that lasted 12 seconds on the LIRR, and together they fantasize about future threesomes with suspiciously supportive fans.

Is it a good episode? No. Is it packed with fake current events, conspiracy theories, open marriages, and physical touch? You bet your bottom dollar it is.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 301

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:42 - Baseball Greats, Kevin Spacey, & ALS
00:10:31 - Reading Fan Comments
00:27:20 - Swingers, Cucks, & Flirty Fans
00:36:33 - Montreal Screwjobs & Polyamory Shenanigans
00:44:58 - Trisha Paytas Baby Theory
00:51:34 - Comedian Death Pool
01:00:49 - Chrissy Massages Stavvy
01:07:23 - Wrap Up

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Bears, 1 Happy Ending w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Become a paid channel member of YMH to get 2 Bears, 1 Cave episodes one day early and AD-FREE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join

SPONSORS:
-Get control of your overall finances with Monarch Money. Use code BEARS at http://monarchmoney.com for half off your first year
-Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears
-Go to https://bluechew.com to get your first month of BlueChew FREE! Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping.
-If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS .

The Summer Bears are back and sweatier than ever as Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return to the Cave for a milestone 300th episode that somehow combines deep psychological trauma, ass-eating, and cholesterol awareness in one glorious mess. Chrissy D reveals his shocking bedtime history with his mom, his late-night transition out of her bed, and how a surprise with a tongue changed the trajectory of his life—and his act. Stav explains how a 3XL shirt, childhood grilled cheese binges, and SNL reruns turned him into the hairy Greek sex symbol we know today.
The bears also dive into the state of late night TV (RIP), Jurassic Park boners, and why Bert and Tom might end up bankrupt with nothing but podcast houses and Uncrustables to their name. Plus, an unhinged Monarch Money ad read, BlueChew boners, Turkish military anal policies, and a heartfelt video message from Tom Segura himself. Are the Summer Bears destined to do this foever? Stay tuned!

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 300

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:58 - Big Boy Shirts
00:10:15 - Tongue Punch Your Fartbox
00:19:21 - How Did This All Happen?
00:23:48 - Sleeping In Mom's Bed
00:37:17 - Stavvy's Hangups & Chrissy Late Night
00:48:27 - Bowel Movements & Old Sitcoms
00:54:39 - Stav & Chrissy's Movie Corner
01:00:47 - New Jurassic Park
01:05:01 - A Message From Tom Segura
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are We Trapped In This Podcast Forever? w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Use code BEARS at https://www.monarchmoney.com/bears in your browser for 50% your first year.
- Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. 

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom checks in on Bert’s intestine surgery and his new commitment to being loud, red, and barely alive. The Bears cover everything from Hellcats to Titanic cowards, and disgusting public behavior.

They spiral into career-ending scandals — Ray Rice, Aaron Hernandez, Mel Gibson, Michael Jackson, and Hitler — and debate whether being talented enough erases your crimes. Plus: the Oceangate sub disaster, a fisherman who supposedly ate his friend, and a fascinating discussion about racist costumes, slurs, and Bert turning purple in a sauna. Also: plutonium, bad names, the lady versions of both bears, and how throwing your wife through a window could be noble. Classic Bear chaos.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 295

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:58 - DMV Hotties & Beefing With Kids 
00:10:07 - Women & Children First 
00:17:53 - Shame, Mel Gibson, & Lance Armstrong
00:24:57 - Famous People Committing Crimes 
00:35:32 - Would You Rather?
00:39:13 - War Documentaries 
00:44:48 - Slurs In Other Languages 
00:53:44 - Names & The Studio Beef 
00:59:11 - Japan & Uranium 
01:05:08 - Lady Bert

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fun With Foreign Slurs | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

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