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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

In this episode, we wander off the beaten path. Literally. We are sharing highly important stories about finding hidden forest trails and why being in the woods feels like our ultimate happy place... until three soaking-wet off-leash mongrel ran straight out of a river and tackled Zach mid-hike. Natr'lly, then this episode takes a turn with a teacher arrested for a fart-spray prank, a bizarre kindergarten art heist in Australia, and the unsinkable Geoffrey Giraffe and the comeback of Toys “R” Us. 

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Download Cash App Today! As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Escher Walcott. “S.C. Teaching Assistant Arrested for Allegedly Releasing Fart Spray, Causing $55K Damage and Making Students ‘Physically Sick.’” People Mag, 24 Sept. 2025. 

➜ Lana Lam. “Australian Kindergarten Asks Parents to Pay Thousands for Their Children’s Art.” BBC News, 24 Sept. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

155 - Your Soaking Wet Dog Jumped On Me Twice

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who found out book clubs aren’t always about books, a camper who brought home more than bargain from the thrift store, and a camper stuck in a Girl Scout Final Destination moment.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Haunted Zucchini Bread - Trail Mix #104

Let's get LOUUUUUUD! (scream it like j-lo hosting a cruise pool party) This week at Camp Shady Birch, things are getting louudddd. (ok im done lol) We kick things off with a hella overstimulating dining experience. Then, like your stomach after too much custard, the energy shifts as we follow the unbelievable story of three nuns on the run. The of course there is the sweetest story of Chewy, a nasty little shih tzu with a big personality who’s found his forever home bringing joy to the residents of a retirement community.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Christopher F. Schuetze and Jim Tankersley. “The Plot to Free the Nuns.” The New York Times, 6 Sept. 2025.

➜ Nathan Frederick. “Mangy Shih Tzu Wandering Streets Gets New Home as 75 Seniors in a Care Home Unite to Adopt Him (LOOK).” Good News Network, 14 Sept. 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

154 - From Sisters to Shih Tzus

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who just wants one-on-one time with her best friend, but keeps finding the girlfriend tagging along, a camper who turned Facebook sleuthing into a full-blown wedding exposé, and a truly scary story about a camper’s mom who woke up in the middle of the night to sounds coming from down the hall. 

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

EXPOSING a Her Cheating Husband - Trail Mix #103

Saddle up, campers!! We went to our first rodeo, yall! In this episode, we dive deep into the wild wild world of bull riding. Bedazzled cowboy hats, cowgirls doin the ole do-see-do, and not a single funnel cake in sight.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed Veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.)

➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x 

As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Works Cited:

➜ Andrew Kurjata. “Man Arrested after Driving Child-Size Pink Barbie Jeep through Town.” CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 8 Sept. 2025. 

➜ Lisa Kwon. “ He Crossed 26 Miles in a Kayak Made from Mushrooms – and Lived to Tell the Tale.” The Guardian, 7 Sept. 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

153 - Actually, This is My First Rodeo

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose birthday gift to a frat boy was pure humiliation, a camper who is scarred from her time at Spa Camp, and a camper who took a hike and lost a little piece of their dignity.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Post-Shave Coochie Itch - Trail Mix #102

This week at camp, we came face to face with something we feared... our parents meeting for the first time ever. We also rediscovered some love for the lost art of digestifs, and Zachariah shares what it’s really been like since he quit vaping. Then we hear a tale of an old woman in love with an astronaut, a server who rescued a raccoon mid-shift, ranted about overly complicated makeup tutorials, and aired out the absolute LOSERS who are adamant about keeping the shades on airplanes closed... LOVE YAS!

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.

➜ Score spooky deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340

Works Cited:

➜ AFP-JIJI. “Over the Moon: Fake Astronaut Scams Lovestruck Japanese Octogenarian.” The Japan Times, 3 Sept. 2025.

➜ Lisa Steacy. “B.C. Server Jumps into Ocean Mid-Shift to Rescue Drowning Baby Raccoon.” CTVNews, 5 Sept. 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

152 - The Social Experiment we call LIFE

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who floated down a river and straight into HR trouble, a camper with a little critter in her car (and things are getting worse), and a tale of turning heartbreak into a halftime show.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Confessions of A Foam-Head Felon - Trail Mix #101

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Works Cited:

➜ Sheena Goodyear. “For the 1st Time in Canada, Surgeons Put Teeth in Patients’ Eyes to Restore Sight | CBC Radio.” CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 28 Feb. 2025.

➜ Victor Mather. “Buried by Princess Diana, Time Capsule Brings Back the ’90s Far Too Soon.” The New York Times. Accessed 10 Sept. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

151 - Accidentally in the Disney World Staff Parking Lot

THE 100th EPISODE OF TRAIL MIX?! Thank you for letting us share your stories. Camp Shady Birch wouldn’t be the same without the chaos you campers have brought to these ole bags of Trail Mix.

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who went to the grocery store for bread, and left with the fallout from her own mother's meltdown, a camper who proved the pen is mightier than the sword (and the attendance sheet is deadlier than detention), and a camper who was scrolling on the adult side of Reddit only to recognize some of the rooms in the pictures.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Found My Friend’s Wife on NSFW Reddit - Trail Mix #100

This week, we packed our bags and headed to the Windy City for a nostalgic trip down memory lane as we visited his hometown, Crystal Lake, IL. Along the way, we participated in the Supermaket Sweep at the Aldi Holiday Party!!

STRIP MALL TEASE TOUR TICKETS: https://linktr.ee/zzzachariah

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! 

➜ This episode is sponsored by MeUndies. For exclusive holiday deals go to MeUndies.com/counselors and used promo code: counselors
➜ This episode is also sponsored by StoryWorth. To save $10 off your first purchase go to StoryWorth.com/counselors 
➜ This Episode is Sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to BetterHelp.com/camp 

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Sources:
➜ Anna Ellis. “Record Breaking Couple Get Married in Their 100s.” Euro Weekly News, 6 Dec. 2024.
➜ Cole Novak. “Meet San Diego’s Renowned Pet Detective, Babs Fry.” San Diego Magazine, 5 Dec. 2024.

Camp Songs:
Spotify Playlist
YouTube Playlist
Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:
Camp Counselors TikTok
Camp Counselors Instagram
Camp Counselors Facebook
Camp Counselors Twitter 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

115 - Don't EVER Sing Happy Birthday to me When I'm Wearing Wool

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