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Dave Stachowiak

Leaders aren’t born; they’re made. Many leaders reach points in their careers where what worked yesterday doesn’t work today. This Monday show helps leaders thrive at these key inflection points. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak shares insights from a decade of leading a global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, proven leaders, expert thinkers, and deep conversation have attracted 50 million downloads and over 300,000 followers. Join the FREE membership to search the entire leadership and management library by topic at CoachingforLeaders.com

Coaching for Leaders

Claude Silver: Be Yourself at Work

Claude Silver is on a mission to revolutionize leadership, talent, and workplace culture. She is Chief Heart Officer at VaynerX and partners with CEO Gary Vaynerchuk to drive their success. Claude has earned Campaign US’s Female Frontier Award, and AdWeek’s Changing the Game Award and she’s the author of Be Yourself at Work: The Groundbreaking Power of Showing Up, Standing Out, and Leading from the Heart (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

We’ve all heard the advice to be ourselves at work. It’s easier said than done. In this conversation, Claude and I explore how we can actually move past some of the unhelpful self-talk so that we can show up better, faster.

Key Points

 • We all have songs that play in our heads. When the song isn’t working, it’s time to change it.

 • Labels are for soup cans, not people. Stop treating negative self-talk as gospel.

 • Begin by identifying the label you’ve put on yourself that’s harming you. When it’s hard to see a harmful label, use times of either reflection or agitation to help surface it.

 • Find the internal evidence for this label and record what confirms this belief and also what challenges it. If that’s hard, invite someone else (a partner, friend, or therapist) to help you see it more objectively.

 • Evolve by creating a new mantra for who you are becoming. If it doesn’t seem doable today, ask yourself if you can envision it being true in the future.

Resources Mentioned

Be Yourself at Work: The Groundbreaking Power of Showing Up, Standing Out, and Leading from the Heart • by Claude Silver (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*.

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Tame Your Inner Critic, with Tara Mohr • (episode 232)

How to Stand Up for Yourself, with Sunita Sah • (episode 715)

When It Feels Like You Don’t Belong, with Muriel Wilkins • (episode 756)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

762: Show Up Better, Faster, with Claude Silver

Dave shares the results of the 2025 listener survey and previews what’s next for Coaching for Leaders. If you’re not already getting the weekly update and wish to receive Dave’s forthcoming FocusFive messages, join the free membership for access.

Listener Survey Results

Steve Blank: Blind to Disruption

Steve Blank is an Adjunct Professor at Stanford and co-founder of the Gordian Knot Center for National Security Innovation. Credited with launching the Lean Startup movement and the curriculums for the National Science Foundation Innovation Corps and Hacking for Defense and Diplomacy, he’s changed how startups are built, how entrepreneurship is taught, how science is commercialized, and how companies and the government innovate. Steve is the author of The Four Steps to the Epiphany and The Startup Owner’s Manual and is the author of his recent article at steveblank.com: Blind to Disruption: The CEOs Who Missed the Future.

Leaders may see the future coming, but we aren’t always incentivized to act on it. In this conversation, Steve and I discuss what we can learn from the common patterns of disruption so we don’t miss what’s next.

Key Points

 • In the 1890s, there were approximately 4,000 carriage and wagon makers in the United States. Only one company made the transition to automobiles.

 • In each of the three companies that survived, it was the founders, not hired CEOs, that drove the transition.

 • Studebaker recognized that it wasn’t in the business of carriages; it was in the business of mobility.

 • Clayton Christensen taught us that disruption begins with inferior products that incumbents don’t take seriously.

 • The real problem isn’t that companies can’t see the future. It’s that they are structurally disincentivized to act on it.

 • Parsing innovation theatre vs. innovation means paying attention to what’s actually shipping. If nothing is and you want to innovate, look elsewhere.

 • Bubbles in the market are normal. Timing may be off, but that doesn’t mean disruption isn’t happening.

Resources Mentioned

Blind to Disruption: The CEOs Who Missed the Future • by Steve Blank

Related Episodes

How to Start Seeing Around Corners, with Rita McGrath • (episode 430)

How to Build an Invincible Company, with Alex Osterwalder • (episode 470)

How to Pivot Quickly, with Steve Blank • (episode 476)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

761: Notice Disruption and Innovate Through It, with Steve Blank

Shannon Minifie: Box of Crayons

Shannon Minifie is the CEO of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that helps unleash the power of curiosity to create connected and engaged company cultures. They are the organization behind the bestselling book The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier. Shannon and her team recently released a report along with the Harris Poll titled Navigating a Fractured Workplace: How Relational Curiosity increases engagement, trust, and productivity.

Of course, you’ve heard that being curious and coach-like will help in leadership. But sometimes the very thing we think we’re doing well is actually getting in the way. In this conversation, Shannon and I explore the kind of curiosity that leaders often miss.

Key Points

 • 5-6 hours of the average workweek is lost to the fear of making mistakes.

 • A strong majority of leaders say employees are expressing a desire for more feedback, and a majority also say that people are unable to receive hard feedback.

 • Relationships are the core of these conflicting messages. Without a relationship of trust, helpful feedback often doesn’t land that way.

 • Intellectual curiosity helps us learn what we don’t know. Relationship curiosity helps the other person learn what they don’t know.

 • Ask yourself: what is my goal in asking this question?

 • Rather than asking a question that starts with a “why,” consider asking a question that starts with a “what.”

The 7 Essential Questions:

 1. What’s on your mind?

 2. And what else?

 3. What’s the real challenge here for you?

 4. What do you want?

 5. How can I help?

 6. If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?

 7. What was most useful for you?

Resources Mentioned

Navigating a Fractured Workplace: How Relational Curiosity Increases Engagement, Trust, and Productivity • .

Interactive Learning Preview: Invest in the Power of Curiosity
The Coaching Habit • * by Michael Bungay Stanier

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier • (episode 237)

How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet • (episode 454)

The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier • (episode 458)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

760: The Kind of Curiosity Leaders Often Miss, with Shannon Minifie

Ruchika T. Malhotra: Uncompete

Ruchika T. Malhotra is the founder of Candour, a global inclusion strategy firm that has worked with some of the world’s biggest organizations. She’s been recognized multiple times by Thinkers50 and co-wrote one of Harvard Business Review’s top 100 most-read articles in history: Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome. She is the author of Inclusion on Purpose, MIT Press’s top-selling book of 2022 and now her newest book, Uncompete: Rejecting Competition to Unlock Success (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

A lot of people think about work as a competition for resources. But what if, by inviting others to the table, you created more for everyone? In this conversation, Ruchika and I explore the opportunity for all of us to uncompete.

Key Points

 • Many of us are so socialized to compete that we don’t realize the benefits of collective collaboration.

 • Reach out to someone who inspires you. Praising someone for something awesome about them, without an accompanying ask, is so rare.

 • Display genuine curiosity. Don’t confuse “nice” small talk for depth. Ask bigger questions that get to the heart of who people are.

 • As you build trust, talk numbers. In the professional context, real relationships of trust demand this kind of transparency.

 • Take regular stock of relationships. Take people at their word and also watch how their actions line up – or don’t.

 • Invite others to the table. The bigger your circle, the more you create for everybody.

Resources Mentioned

Uncompete: Rejecting Competition to Unlock Success • by Ruchika T. Malhotra (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

End Imposter Syndrome in Your Organization, with Jodi-Ann Burey • (episode 556)

How to Create Inclusive Hiring Practices, with Ruchika Tulshyan • (episode 589)

Doing Better Than Zero-Sum Thinking, with Renée Mauborgne • (episode 641)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

759: The Way to Build Collective Power, with Ruchika T. Malhotra

Kirstin Ferguson: Blindspotting

Kirstin Ferguson has been recognized globally by Thinkers50 as one of the top 50 management thinkers in the world and is the recipient of the 2023 Distinguished Leadership Award. She was an officer in the Royal Australian Air Force, and then went on to lead an international consulting firm as CEO, before serving on the boards of major publicly listed, private, and non-profit organizations. She is the author of Women Kind, Head & Heart, and her newest book Blindspotting: How to See What Others Miss (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

If we stop to think about it, almost all of us recognize that we have blind spots. Given that reality, anything we can do that helps us see what others might miss will help us lead better. In this conversation, Kirsten and I explore the mindsets and practices that will help us uncover more of our blind spots.

Key Points

 • Experts are better at knowing when they are right, but also less likely to show appropriate doubt when they could be wrong.

 • There’s a time to be a seeker and a time to be a knower. Both are important in different situations, but leaders in many situations would benefit from more seeking.

 • Blindspotting is about calibration, not hesitation.

 • Accept your intellectual limitations. A key way to do this is saying these four words more: “I don’t know yet.”

 • Disentangling your ego will help your blind spot better. Shift away from your pride a bit by separating yourself from your knowledge and expertise.

 • Hunt down your biases. Admitting they exist is step one. Model vulnerability by talking about your past mistakes both with yourself and with others.

Resources Mentioned

Blindspotting: How to See What Others Miss • by Kirstin Ferguson (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*.

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Getting Better at Reading the Room, with Kirstin Ferguson • (episode 651)

How to Find What’s Missing, with Jeff Wetzler • (episode 732)

How to Teach Your Expertise to Others, with Roger Kneebone • (episode 743)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

758: How to See What Others Miss, with Kirstin Ferguson

Goldie Chan: Personal Branding for Introverts

Goldie Chan is the founder of Warm Robots, a social media strategy and creative agency, and she is herself a creative, keynote speaker, author, and cancer survivor. She was named the “Oprah of LinkedIn” by Huffington Post, and her creative video channel won LinkedIn Top Voice for Social Media. She is the author of Personal Branding for Introverts (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Many of us aspire to have a powerful personal brand, but it’s not always clear where to start. In this conversation, Goldie and I zero in on the five elements that matter most – and what you can do to get started.

Key Points

Five C’s of personal branding:

 • Clarity: Surface it by determining three words you want to be associated with.

 • Consistency: The internet is for introverts. Find the medium where you can show up often and that plays to your strengths.

 • Competency: Rather than promoting yourself, promote the ideas and practices you stand for through your experience.

 • Confidence: Ego is when you shout who you are to a room, and confidence is when you know who you are in a room.

 • Community: Join in on conversations with people discussing what you care about. Find these communities or build your own.

Resources Mentioned

Personal Branding for Introverts • by Goldie Chan (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*.

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Four Critical Stories Leaders Need For Influence, with David Hutchens • (episode 148)

The Way to Get Noticed by Key Stakeholders, with Daphne E. Jones • (episode 614)

Your Reputation is Your Currency, with Maha Abouelenein • (episode 703)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

757: The Key Elements of a Powerful Personal Brand, with Goldie Chan

Muriel Wilkins: Leadership Unblocked

Muriel Wilkins is the founder and CEO of Paravis Partners and a sought-after C-suite adviser and executive coach with a twenty-year track record of helping senior leaders take their performance to the next level. She is the coauthor of Own the Room and the host of the Harvard Business Review podcast Coaching Real Leaders. She’s just released her newest book, Leadership Unblocked: Break Through the Beliefs That Limit Your Potential (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

You may have spent years aiming for the leadership role you now have. But now, once you’re in the job, it can be really disorienting to feel like you don’t belong. In this conversation, Muriel and I explore this reality that a lot of leaders face and what do when you run into it.

Key Points

 • Feeling like you don’t belong is a normal and common reality at inflection points in your career.

 • A vicious cycle can emerge: you’re waiting to be included while others are waiting for you to engage.

 • While you can’t control others, you can break the part of the pattern you have control of.

 • Define your value proposition. What gets missed when you don’t show up?

 • Remind yourself of shared goals or values with the group. This prevents the small stuff from distracting you as much.

 • Identify a few supportive people and build relationships with them.

Resources Mentioned

Leadership Unblocked: Break Through the Beliefs That Limit Your Potential • by Muriel Wilkins (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Start a Big Leadership Role, with Carol Kauffman • (episode 617)

How to Start Better With Peers, with Michael Bungay Stanier • (episode 635)

The Habits That Hold Leaders Back, with Marshall Goldsmith • (episode 696)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

756: When It Feels Like You Don’t Belong, with Muriel Wilkins

David Hutchens: Story Dash

David Hutchens works with leaders around the world to find, craft, and tell their most urgent stories for the purpose of creating shared meaning, preserving culture, disseminating learning, and speeding change in organizations. He has taught the Storytelling Leader program at some of the most influential organizations, including NASA, Paypal, Loreal Paris, Cisco, Walmart, Google, and FedEx. He’s written many books, including the Circle of the 9 Muses, Story Dash, and The Leadership Story Deck.

When organizational change is happening, leaders need to be intentional about lining up with culture, especially if it’s the time to shift that culture just a bit. We often do the logistics well, but we miss the power of both the human and emotional connections. In this episode, David and I discuss how story can help us make a meaningful shift.

Key Points

 • The organizations that are being intentional about culture are also being intentional about story.

 • Getting beyond the logistics of changes and leaning first into humanity and emotion help people frame cultural shifts.

 • Leaders go first. Embodied stories from leaders are surprising, counter-cultural, and repeatable.

 • Asking for stories is rarely sufficient. Instead, invite stories through intentional prompts like, “Tell me about a time you felt more engaged, alive, and happiest in your work here.”

 • Received stories are the ones told by employees. Adding an emotion word to an invitation such as, “What’s a time you were 
proud? • ” often surfaces more genuine stories.

David is now a Coaching for Leaders expert partner. Connect with him to discover how he might support your organization in making a meaningful cultural shift via our partners page or email him directly at david@davidhutchens.com.

Resources Mentioned

Circle of the 9 Muses: A Storytelling Field Guide for Innovators and Meaning Makers • by David Hutchens (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Story Dash: Find, Develop, and Activate Your Most Valuable Business Stories…In Just a Few Hours • by David Hutchens (
Amazon • )*

Leadership Story Deck • by David Hutchens (
Amazon • )*

Related Episodes

Leadership Means You Go First, with Keith Ferrazzi • (episode 488)

How to Start Finding Useful Stories, with David Hutchens • (episode 593)

How to Bring Out the Best in People, with Donna Hicks • (episode 724)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

755: How to Lead a Meaningful Cultural Shift, with David Hutchens

Monica Chartier: Coaching for Leaders Fellow

Monica Chartier is a group product manager in the technology industry. Her work has centered on supporting a global product experience, getting a million visitors a day. In addition to her e-commerce and technical experience, she indexes heavily on coach-like leadership with her team and also inside our community as one of our Coaching for Leaders Fellows.

In this conversation, Monica and I explore a need inside the Coaching for Leaders membership community and how we used the design thinking process to approach it. We outline the five key steps we followed and how you might do the same to address a problem inside your own organization.

Key Points

Five steps to solve a problem using design thinking:

 1. Empathy: Start with Intentional Listening and Observation.

 2. Define: Clarify the Real Problem to Solve.

 3. Ideate: Co-Create Ideas and Form Testable Hypotheses.

 4. Prototype: Start Small, Learn Fast.

 5. Test, Learn, and Adapt: Make Iteration a Leadership Habit.

Access Monica’s detailed guide (PDF download)

Resources Mentioned

Monica Chartier on LinkedIn

Related Episodes

The Way to Make Struggles More Productive, with Sarah Stein Greenberg • (episode 569)

How to Prevent a Team From Repeating Mistakes, with Robert “Cujo” Teschner • (episode 660)

How to Lead Engaging Meetings, with Jess Britt • (episode 721)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

754: Five Steps to Solve a Problem, with Monica Chartier

David Burkus: Friend of a Friend

David Burkus is a best-selling author, a sought-after speaker, and an associate professor of leadership and innovation at Oral Roberts University. His TED talk has been viewed over 1.8 million times, he is a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review, and he’s now listed on Thinkers50. He’s just released his new book, Friend of a Friend*.

Key Points

 • Networking should not just be about meeting total strangers.

 • Constantly providing value to your network doesn’t mean you have to be close friends with everyone.

 • It’s impossible to maintain close ties with everyone in your network.

 • Don’t just rely on close connections, because they’re likely in the same circles as you.

 • Weak ties are more likely to provide valuable information.

 • When networking, it’s fine to start with your close connections to warm up, but you can’t stop there.

 • Don’t let your connections get too dormant — regularly engage with them.

 • Follow people on social media to know what’s going on in their lives, and then send them a personal message.

 • Make your inner circle diverse to be sure you’re getting the wide-ranging insight you need.

 • A diverse network will give you information you wouldn’t otherwise have.

Resources Mentioned

Friend of a Friend • * by David Burkus

How To Give and Get The Introductions That Will Transform Your Life and Your Career

Book Notes

Download my highlights from Friend of a Friend in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How Superbosses Master the Flow of Talent, with Sydney Finkelstein • (episode 236)

New Management Practices of Leading Organizations, with David Burkus • (episode 253)

How to Deal With the Diminishers, with Liz Wiseman • (episode 305)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

347: The Power of Weak Connections, with David Burkus

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