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Dave Stachowiak

Leaders aren’t born, they’re made. This Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak brings perspective from a thriving, global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, expert researchers, deep conversation, and regular dialogue with listeners have attracted 40 million downloads and over 250K followers on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Activate your FREE membership to access the entire leadership and management library at CoachingforLeaders.com

Coaching for Leaders

Muriel Wilkins: Leadership Unblocked
Muriel Wilkins is the founder and CEO of Paravis Partners and a sought-after C-suite adviser and executive coach with a twenty-year track record of helping senior leaders take their performance to the next level. She is the coauthor of Own the Room and the host of the Harvard Business Review podcast Coaching Real Leaders. She’s just released her newest book, Leadership Unblocked: Break Through the Beliefs That Limit Your Potential (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

You may have spent years aiming for the leadership role you now have. But now, once you’re in the job, it can be really disorienting to feel like you don’t belong. In this conversation, Muriel and I explore this reality that a lot of leaders face and what do when you run into it.
Key Points

 Feeling like you don’t belong is a normal and common reality at inflection points in your career.
 A vicious cycle can emerge: you’re waiting to be included while others are waiting for you to engage.
 While you can’t control others, you can break the part of the pattern you have control of.
 Even when you believe that not belonging is triggered by sexism, racism, and ableism, it doesn’t serve you to hold onto that belief.
 Define your value proposition. What gets missed when you don’t show up?
 Remind yourself of shared goals or values with the group. This prevents the small stuff from distracting you as much.
 Identify a few supportive people and build relationships with them.

Resources Mentioned

 Leadership Unblocked: Break Through the Beliefs That Limit Your Potential by Muriel Wilkins (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 How to Start a Big Leadership Role, with Carol Kauffman (episode 617)
 How to Start Better With Peers, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 635)
 The Habits That Hold Leaders Back, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 696)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

756: When It Feels Like You Don’t Belong, with Muriel Wilkins

David Hutchens: Story Dash
David Hutchens works with leaders around the world to find, craft, and tell their most urgent stories for the purpose of creating shared meaning, preserving culture, disseminating learning, and speeding change in organizations. He has taught the Storytelling Leader program at some of the most influential organizations, including NASA, Paypal, Loreal Paris, Cisco, Walmart, Google, and FedEx. He’s written many books, including the Circle of the 9 Muses, Story Dash, and The Leadership Story Deck.

When organizational change is happening, leaders need to be intentional about lining up with culture, especially if it’s the time to shift that culture just a bit. We often do the logistics well, but we miss the power of both the human and emotional connections. In this episode, David and I discuss how story can help us make a meaningful shift.
Key Points

 The organizations that are being intentional about culture are also being intentional about story.
 Getting beyond the logistics of changes and leaning first into humanity and emotion help people frame cultural shifts.
 Leaders go first. Embodied stories from leaders are surprising, counter-cultural, and repeatable.
 Asking for stories is rarely sufficient. Instead, invite stories through intentional prompts like, “Tell me about a time you felt more engaged, alive, and happiest in your work here.”
 Received stories are the ones told by employees. Adding an emotion word to an invitation such as, “What’s a time you were proud?” often surfaces more genuine stories.

David is now a Coaching for Leaders expert partner. Connect with him to discover how he might support your organization in making a meaningful cultural shift via our partners page or email him directly at david@davidhutchens.com.
Resources Mentioned

 Circle of the 9 Muses: A Storytelling Field Guide for Innovators and Meaning Makers by David Hutchens (Amazon, Bookshop)*
 Story Dash: Find, Develop, and Activate Your Most Valuable Business Stories…In Just a Few Hours by David Hutchens (Amazon)*
 Leadership Story Deck by David Hutchens (Amazon)*

Related Episodes

 Leadership Means You Go First, with Keith Ferrazzi (episode 488)
 How to Start Finding Useful Stories, with David Hutchens (episode 593)
 How to Bring Out the Best in People, with Donna Hicks (episode 724)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

755: How to Lead a Meaningful Cultural Shift, with David Hutchens

Monica Chartier: Coaching for Leaders Fellow
Monica Chartier is a group product manager in the technology industry. Her work has centered on supporting a global product experience, getting a million visitors a day. In addition to her e-commerce and technical experience, she indexes heavily on coach-like leadership with her team and also inside our community as one of our Coaching for Leaders Fellows.

In this conversation, Monica and I explore a need inside the Coaching for Leaders membership community and how we used the design thinking process to approach it. We outline the five key steps we followed and how you might do the same to address a problem inside your own organization.
Key Points
Five steps to solve a problem using design thinking:

 Empathy: Start with Intentional Listening and Observation.
 Define: Clarify the Real Problem to Solve.
 Ideate: Co-Create Ideas and Form Testable Hypotheses.
 Prototype: Start Small, Learn Fast.
 Test, Learn, and Adapt: Make Iteration a Leadership Habit.

Access Monica’s detailed guide (PDF download)
Resources Mentioned

 Monica Chartier on LinkedIn

Related Episodes

 The Way to Make Struggles More Productive, with Sarah Stein Greenberg (episode 569)
 How to Prevent a Team From Repeating Mistakes, with Robert “Cujo” Teschner (episode 660)
 How to Lead Engaging Meetings, with Jess Britt (episode 721)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

754: Five Steps to Solve a Problem, with Monica Chartier

Vanessa Druskat: The Emotionally Intelligent Team
Vanessa Druskat is an associate professor at the Peter T. Paul College of Business and Economics at the University of New Hampshire. She advises leaders and teams at over a dozen Fortune 500 and Fortune Global 500 companies and wrote the best-selling Harvard Business Review article (with S. Wolff) on emotionally intelligent teams that has been chosen many times for inclusion in HBR’s most valued articles. She is the author of The Emotionally Intelligent Team: Building Collaborative Groups that Outperform the Rest (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

It’s easy to assume that a good start for a great team is getting the smartest people together. That does help, but it’s not the critical factor in whether a team performs. In this conversation, Vanessa and I discuss why the word belonging makes such a difference.
Key Points

 Raw talent of the individual and their own interpersonal skills don’t predict team performance.
 Belonging is critical for team performance. Leaders often miss this because they already feel like they belong.
 Team members understanding each other is the first and most critical norm.
 Beginning meetings with check-ins or gallery walks helps people understand each other, even if it’s not discussed extensively.
 Inviting people to bring everyday objects to illustrate a more complex point helps make understanding accessible.
 The leader sets the tone, but it’s the interaction between team members that makes the difference.

Resources Mentioned

 The Emotionally Intelligent Team: Building Collaborative Groups that Outperform the Rest (Amazon, Bookshop)* by Vanessa Druskat

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 How to Engage Remote Teams, with Tsedal Neeley (episode 537)
 Team Collaboration Supports Growth Mindset, with Mary Murphy (episode 695)
 How to Help People Connect at Work, with Wes Adams (episode 735)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

753: The Key Norm of a High Performing Team, with Vanessa Druskat

Scott Keller: A CEO For All Seasons
Scott Keller is a senior partner at McKinsey, where he coleads the firm’s global CEO Excellence work within the Strategy & Corporate Finance Practice and serves as a global leader in the Organization Practice. He’s a New York Times bestselling author and trusted advisor to boards, CEOs, and senior leadership teams, with whom he guides multiyear, enterprise-wide transformations that shape the future of institutions. His colleagues and he are the authors of the new book, A CEO For All Seasons: Mastering the Cycles of Leadership (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

One of the most critical phases of taking on the top job is what you do at the start. Whether it’s stepping into the role as president, general manager, executive director, owner, or CEO, starting well can make all the difference. In this conversation, Scott and I explore how to begin in the best way possible.
Key Points

 One-third to one-half of new CEOs are considered to be failing within eighteen months of taking the role. Many wish they’d handled the transition differently.
 New CEOs enter a reality distortion field of many bosses (the board), no peers, and ultimate accountability for everything. The best CEOs guard against this by not making it about them.
 Ask questions that aren’t about you, but the organization. Instead of, “How will I know if I’m successful?” ask, “How will we know if we’re winning?”
 Beginning with a listening tour is essential. People will tell you things when you’re new that they’ll never say two or three years later.
 Create a fact-based, one version of the truth. Once you know it, keep to a single narrative for everyone.
 Err towards complete candor in the toughest realities. Prepare intensely for moments of truth, when they need to happen.
 Set clear boundaries and stay extremely disciplined. Your narrative and first moves should guide how you frame these.

Resources Mentioned

 A CEO For All Seasons: Mastering the Cycles of Leadership (Amazon, Bookshop)* by Carolyn Dewar, Scott Keller, Vikram Malhotra, and Kurt Strovink

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 How Top Leaders Influence Great Teamwork, with Scott Keller (episode 585)
 How to Genuinely Show Up for Others, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 590)
 How to Start a Big Leadership Role, with Carol Kauffman (episode 617)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

752: How to Start the Top Job, with Scott Keller

Neil Ghosh: Do More Good
Neil Ghosh is a seasoned executive whose expertise spans the nonprofit, government, philanthropic, and private sectors. With 30+ years of experience, he has successfully launched and scaled both nonprofit and for-profit ventures, building teams, business models, partnerships, and strategies to drive impact and support vulnerable populations in more than 50 countries. His book is Do More Good: Inspiring Lessons from Extraordinary People (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

There are many differences in the world today, and those differences influence leaders just like everybody else. That’s why Neil Ghosh has this invitation for us: “Never let age or ideology come between learning and growth.” In this conversation, Neil and I explore how we can lean in on great leadership through our common humanity.
Key Points

 In anyone we know, we can always find one positive attribute that we can learn from.
 Never let age or ideology come between learning and growth.
 The Dalai Lama reminds us to offer compassion and kindness, regardless of whether the recipient is in need.
 Give back without expecting fanfare. Help people get what they want through peer mentoring.
 Use your platform to promote unity and to be an advocate for others.
 Befriend people who have different views. Join or start a book club that intentionally selects books from diverse viewpoints.

Resources Mentioned

 Do More Good: Inspiring Lessons from Extraordinary People (Amazon, Bookshop)* by Neil Ghosh

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 How to Connect with People Better, with Charles Duhigg (episode 670)
 Turning Down the Temperature on Outrage, with Karthik Ramanna (episode 711)
 How to Bring Out the Best in People, with Donna Hicks (episode 724)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

751: Leadership Through Our Common Humanity, with Neil Ghosh

Margaret Andrews: Manage Yourself to Lead Others
Margaret Andrews is a seasoned executive, academic leader, speaker, and instructor. Her course MYLO (Manage Yourself to Lead Others) has become the most popular professional development program at Harvard. She is the author of Manage Yourself to Lead Others: Why Great Leadership Begins with Self-Understanding (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Virtually every book, course, and program on leadership begins with self-understanding. That’s no accident; it’s because managing ourselves helps us lead others more effectively. In this episode, Margaret and I explore the six key questions that will help you manage yourself better.
Key Points

 When people are asked to describe the attributes of their best bosses, 85% of the responses highlight interpersonal skills.
 Our differences are our features, not our flaws. Knowing yourself well helps you lead others better.

Six Questions for Self-Understanding:

 Who, and whose thinking, has shaped you as an individual?
 What situations and events have helped shape your perspective?
 What does success look like for you?
 What are your core values, and how have these values changed throughout your life?
 To what extent are you aware of—and allow yourself to feel—your emotions?
 What feedback have you received over the years about how your actions and behaviors impact others?

Resources Mentioned

 Manage Yourself to Lead Others: Why Great Leadership Begins with Self-Understanding by Margaret Andrews (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 Enhance Your Self-Awareness, with Daniel Goleman (episode 353)
 The Way to Be More Self-Aware, with Tasha Eurich (episode 442)
 Discover Who You Are, with Hortense le Gentil (episode 459)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

750: Six Questions Every Leader Should Ask Themselves, with Margaret Andrews

Mark Crowley: The Power of Employee Well-Being
Mark Crowley is a pioneer in workplace leadership, a speaker, and the bestselling author of Lead from the Heart. He is the host of the Lead from the Heart podcast. His new book is The Power of Employee Well-Being: Move Beyond Engagement to Build Flourishing Teams (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

When I talk with leaders, many of them tell me that it’s really hard to decide on how much recognition to give people vs. constructive or critical feedback. In this conversation, Mark and I highlight the ideal ratio to calibrate our communications so that we support people’s well-being while also helping them grow.
Key Points

 Despite the focus on employee engagement, actual engagement scores are the same or worse than a decade ago.
 Post-COVID, there’s a massive move towards employee well-being. This is good for both the organization and the employee.
 An ideal positivity ratio is 4:1 in many relationships. That’s four positive interactions for every constructive or critical interaction.
 We react more strongly to negative influence than positive influence, thus the need for a ratio favoring the positive.
 Positive interactions include optimism, enthusiasm, solutions orientation, encouragement, kindness, thoughtfulness, approachability, interest, and appreciation.
 Leaders still must make unpopular decisions, set expectations, and give critical feedback. Positive interactions are in addition to these, not instead of them.

Resources Mentioned

 The Power of Employee Well-Being: Move Beyond Engagement to Build Flourishing Teams (Amazon, Bookshop)* by Mark Crowley

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
 Gallup Findings on the Changing Nature of Work, with Jim Harter (episode 409)
 The Way to Notice People Better, with Zach Mercurio (episode 733)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

749: How to Balance Positive and Constructive Feedback, with Mark Crowley

Dave speaks with Tracey Gardner, an alum of the Coaching for Leaders Academy, on the critical nature of making space in order to adapt to change.

Apply to the Coaching for Leaders Academy by Friday, September 12th.

Making Space to Move Forward, with Tracey Gardner

Apply to the Coaching for Leaders Academy by Friday, September 12th.

In this episode, Dave shares five ways to help leaders thrive through inflection points, including:

 Redirect vs. respond
 Set team norms
 Ask a second question
 Picture tomorrow’s commitment today
 Hold a funeral

Five Ways to Thrive Through Inflection Points

Susan Cain: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
Those of us who have a preference for introversion often are misunderstood by colleagues and organizations. In this episode, we explore how introverts can bring value to organizations and highlight the research of Susan Cain, author of the New York Times Bestseller, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking.

 Community Feedback
CoachingforLeaders.com/feedback

Special Guest: Susan Cain

I interview Susan on her New York Times Bestseller, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

44: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, with Susan Cain

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