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Stígðu inn í heim af óteljandi sögum

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BBC Radio 5 Live

Join the UK's youngest and most relevant broadcasters Elis James and John Robins for your twice-weekly dose of big laughs and top quality #content.

Hilarious, welcoming and unashamedly ashamed, let these two best friends keep you company every Tuesday and Friday.

Listen to the Elis James and John Robins podcast every Tuesday and Friday on BBC Sounds.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk
#elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins

What’s it like to share a bank account with John Robins? Austerity Robins: a notification to his device every single time you make a purchase, no matter how small. Well we find out because nothing can get past him, with, in his own words “notifications echoing through his empty life.”

Extraordinary scenes today as Dave got chatted up on the way in to the studio. Was it a student prank? Elis’s experiences suggest otherwise...

Elsewhere there’s a backwards all-timer of a Made Up Game and John decides to pull apart a listener email which relies on more assumptions than economic growth models.

For Shames, Games and everything in between it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

#484 - Juicy Forearms, DBW and Zone 3 in the Bedroom

The UK’s motorways are now one tour bus quieter. Which perversely probably makes the roads noisier given John’s silent approach whilst inhabiting the Sad Van.

And what celebrations happened at the post-tour party at The Palladium? Debauchery and several kilos of Producer Dave's favourite over the counter pharmaceuticals? Not quite. Rather it was a media bigwig zone and John now has regrets about talking extensively about red tape to a BBC higher up. It was that sort of vibe.

So we are now firmly back on terra firma. And what better way to turn our attention back to the studio than Adrian's gadgets and a Mad Dad constructing some of the finest anti-burglary technology ever conceived.

Has your father ever made an unwise drill-centric decision? Well get it over to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on the WhatsApp.

#483 - Freezer Cupboards, Adrian’s Chipper and Not Feeling Like I’m On Fire

Confidence is the word of the day, with differing meanings for both of our heroes. Does John have enough of the stuff to go through with his edgy scripted intro? Is Elis sufficiently supplied to make his 5th Cymru Connection in a row? It’s all to play for, and play we must.

The other word on everyone’s lips is farewell, as the boys bid adieu to the Sad Van. She’s taken out for one last outing as Elis and John’s Road to Nowhere finally reaches its destination. It’s also a goodbye to the oft-mentioned and celebrated Tour Manager Giles, who receives his flowers and answers your questions.

There’s also a rollercoaster of a Made Up Game in which the very visual medium of drawing is brought to life in the very aural medium of podcasting.

Think you’re confident enough to send us an email? Well you can, just send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

#482 - Zzamph, #VanMems and Potential Curry Gone Mad

We’re at a crossroads. A vape crossroads. For the dual forces of quicker marathon times and health effects are coming together to fight against the temptations of fruity mist. And John must make a choice.

Elsewhere it’s a show of rare beasts: Elis takes it upon himself to get in the grill of a listener and do the sacking, and we dole out a good radio bell for a listener. Is that a first?

Plus, John’s decided he can’t keep working with the other two. As such, Dave’s got him really down. Thanks Dave, Elis will have to inject a lot of cake and energy into the Tuesday record now.

Want to make an attempt at earning your own good radio bell ding? elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are your primary routes.

#481 - The Mega Bond, £14.67 Savings and Dressed As A Big Kefir

What’s the best way to round off 39 hours of no sleep? Invite 7 young girls round for your daughter’s birthday sleepover, that’s how! Were there tears? Of course! Did said tears belong to Elis or the kids? Listen to find out.

Elsewhere we’re answering the question, ‘is mid-October too early to be talking about Christmas?’ Not in these parts it ain’t, as Elis makes a startling claim about Irish wishlists and John questions the role Santa played in his childhood festivities.

All this, plus what comes to mind when you think of Brian May, a rollercoaster of a Road to Nowhere, and huge developments in the Cymru Connection’s role in forging Wales’s national identity.

We’re fast becoming the world’s first email-powered, self sustaining podcast. But we need more of your emails to keep things moving. Send them to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or write them in WhatsApp form and send them to 07974 293 022.

#480 - Hot Trees, Exhaustion Tears and Let It Be Birds

This show has been many things, but right now this a cockles podcast. Elis’s homecoming show in Swansea was very much tied to whether he could get cockles at breakfast which sets us off on a cockle rollercoaster. But will Dave like them?

There’s also a very intense Ask Us Anything, and a 1.5 times playing of the jingle. Plus, what meat would you eat betwixt the sheets?

elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp to tell us your preferred meat.

And do remember tomorrow’s Bureau de Change of the Mind is *only* on the world beating BBC Sounds. So get blooming subscribed on there.

#479 - Going Cockleless, Lamb In Bed and The Elis James Clerical Universe

If there was an award given out for the ‘Most Tense Moment in the Final Round of a Game Made Up by a Listener’, then this show would win it. Fresh from their triumph at the British Podcast Awards, Elis and John look to add another trophy to the cabinet by creating a moment so contentious and dramatic that it requires the use of VAR; Voice Assisted Referee. 

Away from the Made Up Game hijinks there’s week-late-Ryder Cup chat, a revelatory story about the lengths a young Dave Masterman went (literally) for love, and a mystery caller in The Cymru Connection unearths some troubling memories for Elis.

There’s nothing better than receiving your correspondence, so send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

#478 - Zones, Curry Pyjamas and Pre-Time Speeches

It’s 3 croaky voices in the studio today because Elis and Dave have Oasised once again, and poor old John is unwell. Luckily that means a general vibe alignment is struck, but, crucially, the standards do not slip. For Elis and Dave both have tales of struggling to get out of Wembley, and John wonders which of his awards would be best suited to beating off an intruder.

The other overriding question of the day is would you rather visit historical moments as a person or as a ghost? If that doesn’t provide hours of conversation for you and yours this weekend, we’re not sure what will.

All this plus sexy flags (have we finally found THE sexiest flag?), John makes it into an actual cryptic crossword, and Dave faces accusations of spreading false information.

If you want to offer up your own person or ghost scenarios (Elis and John recording their first ever podcast: person. John eating his first ever 100 chili fish dish: ghost), send them to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

And remember to check out tomorrow’s Bureau de Change of the Mind, where John challenges Elis and Dave to enter the symposium and back the riff, with mixed results. Only on your friend and ours, BBC Sounds.

#477 - Oasising, The Sero Clan and Trapped in Neasden

Having conquered the earthly plane, Elis and John are taking to the skies. Can they become the first podcast to be recorded entirely in space? Or will the anecdote well run dry too quickly?

Back down on Earth there’s a debut trip to Birch Services for Johnny JR, Elis is positively giddy after the pair run round the natural sights of Llandudno, and we hear one of the greatest shame-inducing lines in a cracking Shame Well entry.

Oh, and this week’s Made Up Game throws up a result rarely spotted in these parts…

You the you the listener can get involved with the show, just email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

#476 - Explicit Cakes, Sewer Coffee and A Sexual Holiday to Cardigan

It’s a huge episode for loving Britain, but more importantly it’s a huge episode for cagoules. This is the UK’s number 1 cagoule podcast, and a very special guest has got Elis barking like a waterproof dog in heat.

If you’re anti-outer layers then this is not the place to be.

It’s slightly lighter ground on the anecdote front as John has just written down ‘Autumn’ and Elis can’t even handle drinking two pints. A loss for James but there’s more wins for Robins in a week where he smells different for the first time since 1998.

Plus we ask, "what would happen if you gave a sherbet dip dab to a pagan?"

Bonus Bureau content is available on Saturday morning, only on BBC Sounds, and if you want to get on everything from parkas to perfumes it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

#484 - Juicy Forearms, DBW and Zone 3 in the Bedroom

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