How to Break the People-Pleasing Cycle and Set Healthy Boundaries with Terri Cole

In this episode, Terri Cole discusses how to break the people-pleasing cycle and set healthy boundaries. She explores the fine line between kindness and people- pleasing and how sometimes, what feels like generosity might actually be an attempt to control someone else’s reaction or avoid conflict altogether. Terri also explains why so many of us fall into this “peace at any cost” mentality and the toll it takes on us. She offers powerful tools to help us break free from that compulsion and get clear on what we’re really responsible for, and how to show up authentically in our relationships. Key Takeaways: 00:03:03 – Tending to the Shadow Side

00:04:12 – Finding Balance: Reacting vs. Responding

00:06:06 – The Resentment Inventory

00:10:04 – Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings

00:11:14 – Understanding Activation and Transference

00:15:43 – The Impact of Past Relationships

00:19:01 – Defining High Functioning Codependency

00:20:15 – Characteristics of High Functioning Codependents

00:26:38 – The Importance of Mindful Habit Changes

00:27:32 – Distinguishing Kindness from Codependency

00:29:04 – Questions to Differentiate Responsibility

00:34:48 – The Role of Boundaries in Relationships

00:37:01 – The Challenge of Letting Go

00:40:28 – The Power of Asking the Right Questions

00:43:41 – Conclusion: The Balance of Giving and Receiving

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