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Vienna Pharaon

Stitcher Studios

We all have the capacity to create long lasting change.

I’m Vienna Pharaon, a licensed marriage and family therapist. I’ve spent over 25,000 hours working with individuals, couples and families, which has given me a front-row seat to our capacity for change, no matter how challenging a story might be. This is a show where I speak with anonymous people every week about the challenges they’re facing.

And even though this is not how I work with actual clients – which has months, sometimes years of trust built together over time – it’s pretty incredible where a one-off conversation with someone you don’t know can lead you. In fact, I think it’s quite remarkable. 

I’m the author of the national best selling book ‘The Origins of You,’ which explores how to break family patterns so that you can liberate the way you live and love, and create the life and relationships you’ve always wanted. What I have found time and time again is that our unwanted patterns in our adult lives is unresolved pain from the past that’s grabbing for our attention. 

If we can be brave enough to face our patterns, a lot of beautiful healing work can happen.

That’s why the show is named This Keeps Happening. 

I hope what you hear today helps you as you go through your own journey.

This Keeps Happening with Vienna Pharaon

Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath stop by and discuss transformational moments in their relationship. They have a new book called “Liberated Love.” Mark hosts The Mark Groves Podcast and Kylie shares daily teachings on relationships and embodied liberation. 

This is the final episode of This Keeps Happening, season 1. We’ll be taking a break from the show for now. If you would like to stay in touch, you can follow Vienna on Instagram at @mindfulmft, join her free newsletter, or grab a copy of her national best-selling book, 'The Origins of You.'

Named: Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath on breaking up and coming back together

Jen feels like she never mattered to her father. He’s extremely reactive and their dynamic has been emotionally damaging for her over the years. Even though she wants to maintain strong boundaries, she feels pressure to make amends as he gets older and enters the final chapters of his life.

 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Navigating boundaries with an aging parent

Paige has a complicated dynamic with her mother. For years, she’s felt leaned upon and pressured to over give in the relationship. She also had to navigate a severe rupture of trust. When Paige was a child, her mom told her that the man who raised her wasn’t her biological father. 

 

Today, Paige wants to heal and set new boundaries with her mother. But now a mother herself, she worries that becoming more distant could mean her son won’t have a relationship with his grandmother. 

 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

I'm struggling to set boundaries with my mom

Wellness artist Tracy G shares her endless passion for healing and self-growth. She also reflects on moments that shaped how she shows up in relationships and how trust is an ongoing practice.

 

In a periodic series called ‘Named,’ Vienna speaks with friends and thought leaders about their origin wounds and their path towards healing.

 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Named: Tracy G on re-learning to trust yourself

Leah decided in her 20s to not have children. But today, she finds herself in a relationship with someone who has two of them. She never wanted kids but finds herself attempting to be the kind of parent she always wanted and needed. However, in her quest to be a perfect adult, she's losing her relationship with her own desires, wishes, and boundaries.

 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here. You can also see Vienna live on March 21 in Washington DC. Tickets for the event are here.

I made a big sacrifice. Now I’m worried I’ve lost myself

Kaitlyn Bristowe stops by to talk about a lifelong journey. The host of “Off The Vine” and former Bachelorette shares how it feels being misunderstood online, journaling and self-acceptance.

 

In a periodic series called ‘Named,’ Vienna speaks with friends and thought leaders about their origin wounds and their path towards healing.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Named: Kaitlyn Bristowe on her journey to self-acceptance

Jackie has a hard time allowing herself to be human, to be imperfect. She cheated in her current relationship. Though her partner has forgiven her, she has really struggled to forgive herself. 

 

She's stuck in a loop of self-blame and punishment and holds a story that since no one else has punished her, she must be the one who does. 

 

Growing up she felt like she had to be a good girl, which was exacerbated after her father was in a serious car crash. It left him with a brain injury that changed his personality and made him reactive and verbally abusive. As a result, Jackie shifted into someone who pleased, who was perfect. Although Jackie knows that perfection isn't possible, she still struggles to allow herself grace when she makes mistakes.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

I cheated and can’t forgive myself

Carol is in a relationship that feels deeper than anything she's experienced before, and yet she feels emotionally misunderstood. When there's conflict, she doesn't know how to navigate it and feels frustrated with herself for closing down and disconnecting. 

Growing up, Carol didn't have healthy examples of dealing with conflict. She felt distant from her mother, who struggled with addiction and wasn't present in her life from six years old on. And she was raised by her father, who would give her the silent treatment in conflict. When Carol would ask questions about her mother and her parents' relationship in history, he wouldn't provide answers or clarity, leaving her feeling internally lost and confused. She constantly asks herself why knowing matters and why feeling matters, but ultimately does know that that's her path to change.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

I feel misunderstood in my relationships

This week, Vienna speaks with her husband and founder of ManTalks Connor Beaton. This is the debut episode of a new periodic series called ‘Named,’ where Vienna speaks with friends and thought leaders about their origin wounds and their paths towards healing. In this episode, Connor shares how his parents’ separation affected him deeply. He struggled academically, romantically, and eventually made a profound transformation. He discusses some of the tools he used to get to where he is today, which is a place he wouldn’t have imagined possible a decade ago. 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Named: Connor Beaton on the practice of becoming an honest man

Beth is afraid of following in her mother's marriage footsteps. Her mother was married five times, and Beth finds herself contemplating a third divorce. At times, Beth is unclear about what she's actually trying to resolve. It's easy to get lost in the details and miss out on connecting with self, which in this case is quite appropriate for the goal that Beth doesn't even know she needs to set. But by the end of our conversation, she recognizes that she's been operating within the framework that in order to have a relationship with someone else, she must disconnect from feeling her own pain.

 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

I'm scared of getting divorced again

America recently went through a breakup, and it’s opening old wounds around the complicated relationship she had with her father. There's a lot she wishes she could have said to him before his death. She grew up in an environment where talking about your feelings wasn't safe, and that avoidance has come with her into her adult life. This breakup is confirming all of the original narratives she's held about perfection and herself. We start this conversation talking about the breakup, what's familiar about it, and what keeps her from being able to see herself differently.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

I feel like I have to be perfect in order to be loved

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