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C.T. Walsh

Middle School Mayhem: Down with the Dance is the first book in this action-packed, hilarious series. 

 Meet Austin Davenport, whose fabulous luck landed him on this earth only eleven short months after his brother, Derek, putting them in the same grade. While Austin's brain power is unmatched, it appears as if his brother got all the athletic gifts and the family butt-chin, meaning their parents love Derek more than Austin, or so it seems. 

Join Austin on his journey through the tumultuous waters of middle school as he navigates the swampy and undeodorized hallways and explores the depths of the cafeteria's seafood surprise. 

Oh, and someone is plotting to take down the Halloween Dance, the one that Austin has his sights set on, so he can take Sophie Rodriguez, a girl way out of his league, but who doesn't seem to know it. 

Can he stay one step ahead of the new principal who has it out for him? Will Austin figure out who the perpetrators are? Will he save the dance in time? Will he wear a diaper on a stakeout? 

This first in a planned series of twelve will have you ROFLing like you never have before.

J Stempien

Farcical Press

Middle School Mayhem

Down with the Dance

Middle School Mayhem: Down with the Dance is the first book in this action-packed, hilarious series. 

Meet Austin Davenport, whose fabulous luck landed him on this earth only eleven short months after his brother, Derek, putting them in the same grade. While Austin's brain power is unmatched, it appears as if his brother got all the athletic gifts and the family butt-chin, meaning their parents love Derek more than Austin, or so it seems. 

Join Austin on his journey through the tumultuous waters of middle school as he navigates the swampy and undeodorized hallways and explores the depths of the cafeteria's seafood surprise. 

Oh, and someone is plotting to take down the Halloween Dance, the one that Austin has his sights set on, so he can take Sophie Rodriguez, a girl way out of his league, but who doesn't seem to know it. 

Can he stay one step ahead of the new principal who has it out for him? Will Austin figure out who the perpetrators are? Will he save the dance in time? Will he wear a diaper on a stakeout? 

The funny and fast-paced nature of this series is meant for middle grade and early young adult readers. 

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones. 

Middle School Mayhem: Santukkah! 

Austin Davenport is back! With new characters and a new villain; the only guarantee is more mayhem! Middle School Mayhem: Santukkah! is the second installment of this planned twelve-book series. This fast-paced and gut-busting series is designed for middle grade and younger YA readers. 

After his brother wins a big sports award, Austin is jealous and wants his time to shine in the spotlight. With the school holiday musical just around the corner, Austin wonders if he's good enough for the lead role but also scared he might fart during a solo. Amplifying the problem is a new kid in town: the golden-voiced, dark-hearted Randy Warblemacher, who will stop at nothing to destroy Austin's chances at fame and fortune, while attempting to steal his girlfriend in the process. 

Oh, and following the chaos from the Halloween Dance, Cherry Avenue's overbearing principal is gunning even harder than before to get Austin expelled. 

Will Austin win the lead and steal the show? Will he gain his parents' affection even though he doesn't have the family butt chin? Can he juggle all of the mayhem that middle school throws at him or will his klutzery destroy all that he holds dear? 

What are you waiting for? I'm not going to answer the questions for you. You have to read the book! I mean, seriously… 

Middle School Mayhem: The Science (Un)Fair 

Thanks for tuning your station to Nerd Nation! Austin Davenport returns in Middle School Mayhem: Science (Un)Fair, the third installment of a planned twelve-book series. And this time, he's playing for keeps. Whatever that means. 

But seriously though, the stakes have never been higher for Austin, whose principal is salivating at the chance to get him expelled. A new website that bashes the overbearing principal surfaces and after no investigation whatsoever, Austin is the one and only suspect. To make matters worse, Randy Warblemacher, notorious cheater and Austin's chief nemesis, offers Austin a wager on the outcome of the science fair and it's an offer too good to refuse, but after a communication mix-up, the lovable underdog finds himself going head to head with his own girlfriend. 

Will the competition be too much for their relationship? Will Austin's design for a fart-suppression device save the environment and the institution of marriage by reducing toxic fume emissions by 40%? Or will his human catapult design transform long-distance travel, rendering the airline industry obsolete? 

Will Austin be expelled for a crime he didn't commit? Can Austin beat Randy? Will Randy play fair (I know, dumb question. ) What will Austin do when the love of his life, Sophie Rodriguez, gets caught up in a cheating scandal? 

Questions. Questions. Questions. To find the answers, join Austin Davenport as the misadventures and mayhem continue with nonstop laughs! 

Middle School Mayhem: Battle of the Bands 

Austin Davenport is back in the mayhemiest adventure yet! Austin's world is forever changed when he learns that nerds have one chance to transform themselves into cool kids. And that's by starting a band. 

When Austin and his crew get fed up at being even less popular than the kid in the marching band who wears his shoes on the wrong feet, they decide to take matters into their own hands. 

When Randy Warblemacher, already a popular kid (and Austin's nemesis) starts his own band that overshadows Austin's, the battle is on! And it's not just with Randy! Some of the area's best bands are in on the action: Goat Turd; 64 Farts, and Cold Sore are all looking to come out on top! 

Join Austin and the gang as they search for and express their badditude. Will the nerds rise to superstardom? Will fame and greed tear the band's friendship apart when half the band falls for the same girl? Will Austin's best friend, Ben, overcome his horrific stage fright? Will Austin split his leather pants and forever scar the youth of America?

Middle School Mayhem: Box Set Books 1-4

Austin Davenport is back! With new characters and a new villain; the only guarantee is more mayhem! Middle School Mayhem: Santukkah! is the second installment of this planned twelve-book series. This fast-paced and gut-busting series is designed for middle grade and younger YA readers. 

After his brother wins a big sports award, Austin is jealous and wants his time to shine in the spotlight. With the school holiday musical just around the corner, Austin wonders if he's good enough for the lead role, but also scared he might fart during a solo. Amplifying the problem is a new kid in town: the golden-voiced, dark-hearted Randy Warblemacher, who will stop at nothing to destroy Austin's chances at fame and fortune, while attempting to steal his girlfriend in the process. 

Oh, and following the chaos from the Halloween Dance, Cherry Avenue's overbearing principal is gunning even harder than before to get Austin expelled. 

Will Austin win the lead and steal the show? Will he gain his parents' affection even though he doesn't have the family butt chin? Can he juggle all of the mayhem that middle school throws at him or will his klutzery destroy all that he holds dear? 

What are you waiting for? I'm not going to answer the questions for you. You have to listen to the story! I mean, seriously…

Middle School Mayhem: Santukkah!

Middle School Mayhem: The Science (Un)Fair 

Thanks for tuning your station to Nerd Nation! Austin Davenport returns in Middle School Mayhem: Science (Un)Fair, the third installment of a planned twelve-book series. And this time, he's playing for keeps. Whatever that means. 

But seriously though, the stakes have never been higher for Austin, whose principal is salivating at the chance to get him expelled. A new website that bashes the overbearing principal surfaces and after no investigation whatsoever, Austin is the one and only suspect. To make matters worse, Randy Warblemacher, notorious cheater and Austin's chief nemesis, offers Austin a wager on the outcome of the science fair and it's an offer too good to refuse, but after a communication mix-up, the lovable underdog finds himself going head to head with his own girlfriend. 

Will the competition be too much for their relationship? Will Austin's design for a fart-suppression device save the environment and the institution of marriage by reducing toxic fume emissions by 40%? Or will his human catapult design transform long-distance travel, rendering the airline industry obsolete? 

Will Austin be expelled for a crime he didn't commit? Can Austin beat Randy? Will Randy play fair (I know, dumb question. ) What will Austin do when the love of his life, Sophie Rodriguez, gets caught up in a cheating scandal? 

Questions. Questions. Questions. To find the answers, join Austin Davenport as the misadventures and mayhem continue with nonstop laughs! 

The funny and fast-paced nature of this series is meant for middle grade and early young adult listeners.

The Science (Un)Fair

Middle School Mayhem: Battle of the Bands 
Austin Davenport is back in the mayhemiest adventure yet! Austin's world is forever changed when he learns that nerds have one chance to transform themselves into cool kids. And that's by starting a band. 

When Austin and his crew get fed up at being even less popular than the kid in the marching band who wears his shoes on the wrong feet, they decide to take matters into their own hands. 

When Randy Warblemacher, already a popular kid (and Austin's nemesis) starts his own band that overshadows Austin's, the battle is on! And it's not just with Randy! Some of the area's best bands are in on the action: Goat Turd; 64 Farts, and Cold Sore are all looking to come out on top! 

Join Austin and the gang as they search for and express their badditude. Will the nerds rise to superstardom? Will fame and greed tear the band's friendship apart when half the band falls for the same girl? Will Austin's best friend, Ben, overcome his horrific stage fright? Will Austin split his leather pants and forever scar the youth of America? 

Middle School Mayhem: Battle of the Bands is the hilarious fourth installment in this planned twelve-book series. This fast-paced and gut-busting series is designed for middle grade and younger YA listeners.

Battle of the Bands

What happens when you combine middle school with medieval times? Medieval Mayhem happens, that's what! Middle School Mayhem: Medieval Mayhem is the fifth installment of a planned twelve-book series. And it just could be the best and funniest adventure yet! 

Austin Davenport is back as he travels back in time to battle his timeless nemesises for honor and glory. Well, sort of. 

When Austin is embarrassed by baby-faced villain, Randy Warblemacher, in front of the whole school, he decides to drop the gauntlet! And the upcoming Medieval Renaissance Fair is the perfect place for an epic showdown. The only problem? Your favorite nerd needs to transform into a knight! 

It's a game of thrones throw-down as all of Cherry Avenue Middle School's key players jostle and joust for power, fueled by greed, revenge, and some tasty roasted turkey legs. 

How can you pass up the prospect of epic sword battles, knightly chivalry, chilling betrayals, and a prison break? Oh, and there might also be a dragon and a kerfuffle with some less-than-chivalrous knights from the underworld. So, a regular ho-hum story… People should use the word kerfuffle more, don't you think? 

Join Austin and his crew on this legendary quest as they battle and "Huzzah!" their way through danger and those looking to destroy them…too dark? Well, it's an epic conflict between good and evil. What did you expect? Rainbows and unicorns? I mean, honestly…

Medieval Mayhem

Cherry Avenue Middle School ain't big enough for the two of them. With the dust still settling from the epic medieval mayhem that took place at the Medieval Renaissance Fair, Principal/Emperor Buthaire strikes back, revealing a secret plan he had been working on since the first day that he and Austin met. And it's his hardest-hitting plan yet. We're talking hard hitting like a Taco Tuesday fart. With extra spice. 

The effects of the devious principal's evil plan manifest in soul-crushing fashion, creating a deep divide within Cherry Avenue Middle School. Austin and his crew decide that it has to end. And in the only way they know how. By creating mayhem. We're talking lots of it. Like, never-before-seen amounts of mayhem. 

If you are not yet aware, there will be mayhem. There will be stink bombs, rodents, a whole host of devious pranks, and a teleporting ghost? That's just weird. Or is it? Yes, it is. But some people deserve to be haunted. 

Will Austin risk it all, including getting expelled, to take down the system? Will a secret agent betray him? Will everyone make it out alive from the school's mayhemiest food fight ever? The Takedown is sure to entertain and excite as Austin and Principal Buthaire have an epic showdown that will result in one of them leaving Cherry Avenue Middle School forever. Is that epic enough for you?

The Takedown

Austin Davenport, love doctor or destroyer? 

The mayhem has multiplied! Love is in the air in Gopherville, but this ain't no mushy love story. It's an adventure of the heart with jokes of the fart.

They say that mayhem can't buy love, but it can break it apart. Or at least they should say that, because with Valentine's Day rapidly approaching at Cherry Avenue Middle School, relationship trouble is brewing like a volcano about to erupt. When Austin and Sophie set their sights on winning Cupid's Cutest Couple Contest, a series of challenges and a secret admirer will put their relationship to the test. And they're not the only ones with their eyes on the love prize. Of course, Randy, Austin's chief nemesis, is down for the crown, but he's not the only one attempting to destroy everyone's favorite nerd and all that he holds dear.

And that's not all. While Austin struggles to keep his relationship with Sophie afloat, he's forced to juggle a new job forced upon him by his friends and even a few teachers: love doctor. Yeah, he won't mess that up.

Will Sophie's competitiveness break Saustin apart?

Will Mr. Gifford finally find that special someone or will he create a love potion to ensnare Mrs. Funderbunk?

Will Austin need a hazmat suit just to survive the clouds of body spray, perfume, and pheromones floating through the halls?

Will this story end happily ever after? The only certainty in this one is mayhem and laughter.