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Trump Ninja

You didn't vote for him, but you sure as hell can laugh at him. 

Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." 

We see a narcissist. 

But the president sees a ninja. Trump Ninja.

He's our overly-orange Duperhero who knows more than anyone else in the world about aliens, french fries, Keeping America an Embarrassment, and grabbing bikini babes by their whatevers.

In Trump Ninja vs. Area 51, our Colluder-in-Chief is determined to build a big beautiful wall around Area 51, to keep those unAmerican aliens out so they can't steal your tremendous low-paying American jobs and illegally use your non-universal healthcare.

EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW:

Time for a little national security.

I don’t think these grays should be allowed here, most of them. I’m sure a lot of them are fine, a lot of them are very nice, good, decent people, these grays, but you can’t let these very bad chicos come through.

So, I go to town. Believe me. Some of the best and strongest fighting there’s ever been anywhere, probably. Probably the biggest fight in the world. Intergalactic. You wouldn’t believe it.

You’re going to want to read this one right away.

Trump Ninja vs. Area 51. PAM! 

Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super-secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. Area 51 is book one in the seven-book Trump Ninja series.

Trump Ninja LLC

Trump Ninja vs. Area 51: Making America Look Ridiculous Again

Trump has made America a laughing stock. Let's return the favor.

Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." 

We see a fossil fuel loving, pristine wilderness raping narcissist. 

But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja.

From the guy who tells scientists "It will get cooler" and retorts that, "Well, science doesn't really know" when he's told that the science is against him, comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. 

Trump Ninja vs. Global Warming, sees our Colluder-in-Chief tilting at windmills trying to do battle with the specter of the "hoax" of Climate Change while saving the world from S. N. O. W. F. L. A. K. E. , the conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW:

You want to know what happens with these windmills? It’s just ridiculous, what these very sad, disgusting liars want you to believe. They like the environment? Then why are they killing all these birds, with these terrible windmills? Answer me that.

Trump Ninja vs. Global Warming. SHAZAM! Go get it. 

Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. Global Warming is book two in the seven book Trump Ninja series. Get them all today!

Trump Ninja Vs. Global Warming: "Oh Come On, We Can MAKE Ice"

Donald Trump is a legend in his own mind. He wants you to take him seriously. Very seriously indeed.

Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." 

The rest of us may see a conspiracy-theory-promoting, sexist, racist, homophobic, science-denying narcissistic criminal who would love to undermine the Constitution to make himself president for life. 

But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja.

From the would-be facist who wants to kill off the free press, comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. Or amused outrage. 

Trump Ninja vs. Fake News, sees our Colluder-in-Chief in Mission-Impossible mode trying to figure out how to take down the New York Times server, while saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW:

I don’t know if you’ve seen some of the stuff they’re saying about me? Don’t look it up. It’s just very sad. Nobody should waste their time on the stuff. Nobody should have to see the very mean and rude things people say about me. This Fake News Media.

But I’ve got it under control.

I’m going to take down The Server.

Trump Ninja vs. Fake News. KERLAMO! Go get it. 

Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. Fake News is book three in the seven book Trump Ninja series. Get them all today!

Trump Ninja Vs. Fake News: "I Didn't Commit Tax Fraud, YOU Committed Tax Fraud"

Donald Trump hates being laughed at. So let's laugh.

Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." 

We see a criminal who hides tax records, misuses money from his own charities, and invokes the presidential pardon to shield business buddies and accomplices from the consequences of their actions. 

But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja.

From the guy who likes to "joke" about being president for life and asks foreign governments to dig up dirt on his political opponents, comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. 

Trump Ninja vs. Impeachment, sees our Colluder-in-Chief trying to figure out what the word Impeachment actually means, while saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW:

I’ve been nominated for an impeachment. Huge honor. The best. Very few people have gotten this, I’ll tell you that. Clinton. He got one. This was back when he was a good guy. I bet the presidents of other countries, they’re going to be calling in and congratulating us.

They say this thing isn’t a popularity contest. But it’s a popularity contest, folks. 

And who do you think is popular? Big league. PAM! President. 

Trump Ninja vs. Impeachment. KERSPLAMO! 

Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. Impeachment is book four in the seven book Trump Ninja series.

Trump Ninja Vs Impeachment: An Honor Only Few Will Receive

Donald Trump loves uttering the words "You're Fired!" Let's turn the tables. It's time to fire 45.

Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity."

We see a crooked businessman who keeps filing for bankruptcy, taking out massive, multi-hundred-million dollar loans, and poses as reality show star who turned himself into a caricature with the cruel catch phrase, "You're Fired!"

But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja.

From that kinda famous guy you (sort of) remember from a few minor roles in a couple of movies, comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement.

Trump Ninja vs. Hollywood, sees our Colluder-in-Chief trying to get his own "original" feature film produced, while saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW:

Threat Level: Ninja.

It’s perfect. Action movie. Let’s show them how a real man does it. They’re going to love me over there. Hollywood. I’m a very famous guy, and they love that. Donald Trump. That guy from Home Alone 2. And Sex and the City. I’ve been in everything.

Hollywood. They won’t know what hit them. But this time, it will be me.

Trump Ninja vs. Hollywood. KERPLAM! Go get it.

Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. Hollywood is book five in the seven book Trump Ninja series.

Trump Ninja vs. Hollywood: Master Oscar Baiter

Donald Trump doesn't want you to fear COVID. Stay safe. Stay alive. Do the opposite of what DT wants. 

Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." 

We see a COVID-denying, unscientific, un-empathetic, narcissist.

But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja.

From the guy who tells scientists to try injecting patients with bleach and who thinks it's fine to kill millions of Americans to get "herd mentality", comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. 

Trump Ninja vs. China Flu, sees our Colluder-in-Chief trying to distract the public from his gross negligence and mismanagement of the response to the virus killing hundreds of thousands of citizens by focusing on any and everything else. Especially the way he is saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the secret conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW:

“It’s this virus, sir.” This is what they’re telling me. It’s this virus. They think it’s the big one.

That can only mean one thing. Zombies.

“We’re going to have to get some protocols in place, sir. We may need to shut down for a while.”

Obviously, we’ll need to shut down. You don’t want to mess around when it comes to zombies. I’ve seen the documentaries. Those things are bad news.

Trump Ninja vs. China Flu. KERCHEWIE! Go get it. 

Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. China Flu is book six in the seven book Trump Ninja series.

Trump Ninja Vs China Flu: "We Have The BEST Numbers"

Disagree with Donald Trump? Then you are a Fake American. 

Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." 

We see a confusion-sewing, conspiracy-spreading, fragile, racists, sexist narcissist. 

But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja.

From the guy who calls white supremacists "very fine people" and tells them to stand back and stand by in case he loses the election, comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. 

Trump Ninja vs. Fake America, sees our Colluder-in-Chief realizing that the only way to stop all of these annoying libtards, BLM, and Antifa-types from disagreeing with him, laughing at him, criticizing him, and voting him out of office, is to get rid of them all entirely. Especially those terrible, no good losers from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the secret conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW:

I’m proud to unveil my new plan for a new America. A much better America. We are going to make America great forever. It will take us a long time to clean up the terrible toxic mess that the liberals have made of this country, but you’re going to love my plan.

Trump Ninja vs. Fake America. KERPOWIE! Go get it. 

Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. Fake America is book seven in the seven book Trump Ninja series.