Dr. Becky Kennedy: Why Making Your Kids Happy Is The Wrong Goal For Resilient Adults

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"Anxiety isn't a feeling. It's the experience of wanting to run away from a feeling—and you can't really run away from a feeling inside your body." - Dr. Becky Kennedy

In a profound conversation about modern parenting philosophy, Dr. Becky Kennedy challenges the instinct many parents have to immediately soothe away their children's negative emotions. She explains that when parents rush to make their kids happy by dismissing or distracting from feelings like disappointment or jealousy, they unintentionally send a powerful message: these emotions are too scary to face. This pattern, Kennedy argues, doesn't create happiness but instead builds the foundation for adult anxiety, as children grow up without developing the crucial skill of sitting with uncomfortable feelings.

Drawing from her experience as a clinical psychologist, Kennedy shares that many adults struggle with emotional regulation—the very skill a brain surgeon identified as most critical for human wellbeing. Rather than pursuing happiness as the primary goal of childhood, Kennedy advocates for resilience, which comes from learning to tolerate and process a wide range of emotions. This perspective offers parents a transformative approach: instead of protecting children from difficult feelings, helping them develop the emotional tools they'll need throughout life's inevitable challenges.

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