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Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. 

Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch

On this week’s Halloween Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter embrace spooky season with a cauldron full of listener dilemmas. From neighbourhood turf wars over Halloween decorations and the “right” kind of sweets to parents debating whether trick-or-treating counts as “modern begging,” no question is too ghostly or gory.

Abbey shares an emotional story about signs from the afterlife, while Peter reflects on mischief nights, Ibiza party memories, and an eternal battle with teacakes. Together, they tackle debates on sexy zombie costumes, haunted neighbours, and how to survive Halloween as parents (and as a couple).

Expect laughs, nostalgia, chaos, and the occasional existential chat about spirits — the ghostly kind and the fizzy pink kind.

00:00 – Abbey and Peter open the Halloween special

01:00 – Mischief Night explained: egging, toilet paper, chaos

02:30 – Ibiza neighbour drama and Peter’s “rave at night, zen by day” rant

04:10 – Would you go all-out or tone down Halloween for grumpy neighbours?

08:00 – The infamous “worm in Pasha” story

09:15 – Abbey’s emotional story about her late doctor and eerily timed message

12:20 – The “Trick-or-Treating is Begging” debate

14:00 – Abbey and Pete’s scariest parenting memories

16:00 – Why community street parties are secretly brilliant

20:00 – The “Sexy Zombie Cheerleader” dilemma

25:00 – Should you let your 12-year-old go trick-or-treating alone?

27:30 – Abbey’s Dracula hot chocolate moment and the outro

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Halloween Neighbour Wars, Signs From the Afterlife & Should Kids Trick-or-Treat Alone?

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back from their whirlwind Ibiza escape — and it’s fair to say the trip had it all. From torrential rain and landslides that left them stranded in their villa, to Abbey calling a waiter an “egghead” and tactical napping gone wrong, it’s an Ibiza debrief like no other.

The gang also dive into listener emails about newborns, hormonal mood swings, and the world’s most inconsiderate boyfriend who thought a McDonald’s counted as a birthday dinner. There’s Halloween chaos in the Crouch household, Peter’s emotional dad moment at his son’s cross-country race, and Abbey admitting she can’t deal with talkative neighbours — or random kids in soft play.

By the end, the pair get surprisingly sentimental as Peter confesses the trip made him “appreciate home, family, and routine” — before losing it over unblown leaves.

00:00 – 02:30 Power cut panic before recording & the useless generator saga.

02:30 – 04:45 Ibiza recap begins — raw sardines, tactical naps & missing the big night.

04:45 – 06:15 FOMO on the flight home and listener messages about new babies.

08:00 – 09:45 Peter’s emotional dad moment watching Johnny’s cross-country race.

10:35 – 12:45 Abbey introduces “Snaps” — the telepathic party game that baffles everyone.

14:05 – 16:10 Abbey calls a rude waiter an “egghead” — and has no regrets.

17:00 – 18:45 Ibiza drama: landslides, stranded villas, and champagne in pyjamas.

19:00 – 25:00 Halloween mania — kids’ costumes, Tim Burton’s epic party, and Abbey’s cat outfit.

27:15 – 31:10 Nightmares, claustrophobia, and existential talk about ghosts, energy, and death.

33:00 – 34:00 Abbey’s “no margaritas” revelation.

35:00 – 39:00 Listener email: “Shark Week” mood swings & Peter’s survival advice for hormonal partners.

42:30 – 45:45 Listener dilemma — the boyfriend who owes money, forgets birthdays, and serves McDonald’s for dinner.

47:00 – 52:00 Chat about talkative neighbours, ignoring kids in soft play, and Abbey’s “hide if you see them” tactic.

52:00 – END Final reflections: Ibiza made them appreciate home, family, and routine — plus Abbey’s fury at uncollected leaves.

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Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Ibiza Debreif: Champagne in Pyjamas, Landslide Chaos & How To Survive “Shark Week”

On this week’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter and Abbey Crouch tackle your juiciest listener dilemmas—from dodgy mates stealing business ideas to kids with sailor mouths and parents with playground egos.

Peter confesses his selective husband hearing, Abbey vents about domestic chaos, and the pair debate whether a friend who never pays her share can be reformed. Expect hilarious tangents about cantaloupes, awkward neighbour encounters, chimney revenge plots, and the ever-competitive world of school mums.

As always, it’s equal parts relatable, ridiculous, and real-life therapy—Crouch-style.

00:00 – Pete can’t pronounce “cantaloupe” and chaos ensues

00:52 – A listener calls out Peter’s “selective hearing” in marriage

03:57 – The banister argument—Peter’s DIY meltdown

07:29 – When your 4-year-old drops the F-bomb

10:28 – Abbey and Peter’s take on kids swearing and modern pop lyrics

11:22 – “My friend stole my business idea!” – The baking betrayal

13:33 – Peter’s wild golf club chimney revenge story

15:07 – The tight mate who never pays up

17:18 – “Mum Wars” – Schoolyard competitiveness and pressure

20:13 – Abbey’s philosophy on parenting and happiness

22:23 – The coworker who narrates her entire day aloud

24:26 – Peter’s final meltdown and closing laughs

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Selective Hearing or Survival Skill? Why Men Stop Listening in a Marriage…

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are joined by indie rock legend Miles Kane, fresh off announcing his new album Sunlight and Shadows.

From tales of wild North London nights with Arctic Monkeys to lessons learned from Paul Weller, Miles opens up about his 20-year career, his creative rebirth in Nashville, and why he’s finally embracing calm over chaos.

The trio get nostalgic reminiscing about red leather trousers, chaotic kids’ birthday parties, and the eternal north vs south debate. In Agony Abs, Abbey, Pete, and Miles tackle listeners’ dilemmas — from neighbours posting poo through letterboxes to partners making shocking Amex mistakes.

It’s therapy, chaos, and rock’n’roll in one hilarious, heartwarming session.

00:00 – Abbey’s “weekly whine” about kids’ impossible homework

04:30 – “Grow up!”: Road rage stories and unexpected confrontations

07:45 – The infamous “Duke of Edinburgh” and “camping wankers” moment

14:00 – Reminiscing with Miles Kane: how he met Peter on Graham Norton

18:00 – The start of Miles’ music career and early days with The Rascals

22:20 – Touring with Arctic Monkeys and becoming lifelong friends

24:40 – Recording in Nashville and learning to stop self-sabotage

26:10 – “No more two-faced twats”: Miles on finding peace in his 30s

31:00 – Advice from Paul Weller that changed Miles’ career

33:40 – Miles on today’s music scene and why bands are struggling

36:00 – Red leather pants, personal style, and creative confidence

47:00 – Agony Abs: Neighbour wars, birthday chaos & Amex drama

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“I Nearly Quit Music” – Miles Kane on Arctic Monkeys, Paul Weller & The Dark Side of Fame

On this week’s Ask Me Anything edition of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter tackle yet another chaotic mix of listener confessions, steamy dilemmas, and hilarious real-life stories. From fantasy celebrity lists gone wrong (including one very muscular postman), to relationship confessions about hotel getaways and the death of romance after kids, nothing is off-limits.

Ross reveals his holiday prep chaos ahead of his trip to Barbados, Peter explains the weirdest ad campaigns he’s ever done (including straddling a snooker table with Abbey in lingerie), and the pair get brutally honest about body confidence, low libido, and whether fantasy lists are harmless fun or total red flags

It’s equal parts therapy session, comedy hour, and marital debate — with the usual dose of Crouch–Clancy chaos.

00:00 – Intro chaos

02:20 – The stingray incident that left Abbey scarred for life

04:36 – Listener dilemma: The fantasy celebrity list gone wrong

07:40 – Are fantasy lists dangerous?

08:17 – Hotel room confessions — “packing half the bedroom!”

10:00 – Golf terminology guessing game disaster

14:00 – Homeopathic remedies & Abbey’s wellness obsession

16:20 – The weirdest ad jobs they’ve ever done

19:00 – Peter’s surreal BBC One moment with Wayne Rooney

21:10 – Confidence vs nerves — Abbey’s honesty on anxiety

22:00 – Soup wars: Mushroom vs Broccoli showdown

24:10 – Listener dilemma: Losing confidence after having kids

26:00 – Abbey’s take on post-baby body confidence & intimacy

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“The Postman Was on Her Fantasy List?!” — Is This Healthy or a Red Flag?

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are joined by pop icon Rick Astley, whose legendary 1987 hit “Never Gonna Give You Up” made him one of the most recognizable voices in music history. The trio dive deep into Rick’s incredible career—from making tea at the studios of Stock Aitken Waterman to becoming a global superstar and internet meme decades later.

Rick opens up about the early days of fame, the pressures of the pop world, his shock retirement at 27, and the unexpected comeback that reignited his career. Expect laughs, confessions, and heartfelt reflections as they discuss everything from performing with Blossoms at Glastonbury to meeting Elton John and Paul McCartney.

It’s a nostalgic, hilarious, and surprisingly moving chat that proves legends really never give you up.

00:00:00 — Opening banter & NFL recap

00:05:25 — “Not listening” / banister anecdote

00:11:09 — Heartfelt listener message (love & step-mom reveal)

00:15:10 — Rick Astley joins the podcast

00:17:00 — Rick on recent gigs & the YouTube celebration

00:19:20 — Karaoke/duet fiasco story

00:21:40 — On being a musician: instruments, drums, studio life

00:27:30 — Origin of “Never Gonna Give You Up”

00:31:57 — How life changed after the hit

00:43:50 — Why he quit at 27 — the long break

00:54:55 — Foo Fighters / Dave Grohl moment

01:05:29 — Reflection & closing 

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rick Astley: The Truth About Never Gonna Give You Up, Shocking Confessions & Return To Stardom

On this week’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back on the sofa tackling your juiciest listener dilemmas. From midlife crises and changing bodies in marriage to fighting over playlists and separate dinners, nothing is off-limits.

The pair reflect on marriage, juggling career ambitions, body confidence, and friendship groups, while keeping things as funny and unfiltered as ever. Expect heartfelt advice, cheeky confessions, and plenty of laughs as they get real about the highs and lows of long-term love.

00:00 – Intro: Abbey and Peter kick off the AMA with laughs

00:54 – First listener dilemma: career ambition vs contentment in marriage

03:40 – Abbey and Pete debate contentment vs striving for more

05:33 – Success defined: promotions vs family time

08:45 – A raw question about weight changes in marriage

11:13 – Body confidence, beauty standards, and menopause talk

12:31 – A listener’s husband hits a midlife crisis

15:21 – Abbey’s story about Erin Brockovich’s Hells Angel neighbour

18:19 – Should couples laugh at each other in public?

21:06 – Fighting over playlists: pop vs heavy metal

23:34 – Food battles: vegan vs carnivore couple

26:08 – Friendship circles after marriage and feeling left out

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Midlife Crisis or Just a Leather Jacket? Answering Your Relationship Dealbreakers!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are joined by the legendary father-son duo Larry and George Lamb. Larry, beloved for his iconic role as Mick Shipman in Gavin & Stacey, and George, a broadcaster turned passionate farmer and businessman, bring stories full of humour, heart, and honesty.

From behind-the-scenes memories of Gavin & Stacey to George’s mission to transform farming with Wildfarmed, the pair open up about their family bond, work, and lessons learned along the way. 

Expect tales of fame, hangovers, goats in the desert, and even Larry’s reignited passion for poetry. In true Therapy Crouch fashion, there are laughs, chaos, and surprisingly deep moments you won’t want to miss.

00:29 – Abbey & Peter kick things off with Ross’s return

04:14 – Weekend hangovers and family shenanigans

08:13 – Abbey reveals horse rescue plans

09:27 – Funniest “your mum” insults in Spanish

13:12 – “Fake Fanta” and laughing fits

16:24 – Guests Larry & George Lamb introduced

18:32 – Dishwasher stacking wars and chaos

30:03 – George on meeting Groove Armada & the farming journey

36:26 – Farming struggles, nature, and lost connections

38:00 – Larry talks about Gavin & Stacey’s return

42:11 – The “Dream Weavers”: James Corden & Ruth Jones’ genius

43:57 – Larry recalls the roughest meal he ever ate abroad

47:36 – George on claustrophobia, travel, and saying “yes” to everything

50:12 – Larry shares his love for solitude, beaches, and driftwood fires

01:05:00 – Larry on poetry, family, and legacy

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Larry & George Lamb: Gavin & Stacey, Wild TV Tales & Exposing The Food Industry’s Dark Secrets

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s bedtime bickering and festival fantasies galore as Abbey and Peter dive into the hilarious highs and lows of married life.

From fighting for space in bed with cats and kids to planning the ultimate birthday celebration (spoiler: it may involve donkeys). We hear from listeners grappling with snoring spouses, mobile phone addiction, and awkward bedtime routines. There’s also a delightfully weird “Would You Rather” that forces Pete to choose between showering with his aunt or snogging his cousin. Classic Therapy Crouch chaos.

Whether it’s household chores turning into scoreboard wars, debates over how late is too late for dinner, or trying to survive your partner’s tractor YouTube addiction. If you’ve ever argued over pillows or tried to plan the “perfect” surprise that backfires, this one’s for you.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #MarriageHumour #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete: “How Boring Must I Be?! You’d Rather Look at Taps!”

Peter and Abbey return with another hilarious and brutally honest episode of The Therapy Crouch. In this autumn special, the couple dive into the chaos of everyday British life, covering everything from pumpkin spiced lattes, cuffing season, home remedies, and the cost of cosy living.

Abbey opens up about her love of soup season, bone broth, and vitamins, while Peter reflects on chaotic weekends, unexpected house guests, and why he’ll never clap for a pilot.

If you’ve ever laughed at the quirks of British culture, argued about umbrellas, or found yourself stuck between cosy vibes and chaos, this episode will feel painfully relatable. Expect big laughs, nostalgic throwbacks, and no filter from one of the UK’s most-loved couples.

00:00 – Welcome to The Therapy Crouch

05:00 – Golf, Beers, and Box Sets

10:37 – Listener Story: Tantric Sex Nightmare

12:07 – Clapping on Planes Debate

17:35 – Autumn Vibes & Cosy Living

21:18 – Soup Season & Bone Broth Obsession

25:27 – The Truth About Cuffing Season

32:03 – Listener Dilemma: Dating a Mum of Two

38:55 – Listener Dilemma: Partying With the Boys

42:29 – Closing Laughs & Next Week’s Promise

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #CosySeason #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cosy Season is Here! Cuffing, Bone Broth and Pumpkin Spiced Lattes

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter Crouch and Abbey Clancy are back in full holiday spirit, bringing sunshine, sass, and serious opinions. From padel battles and cool fashion choices to the return of Oasis and a heated debate on the Gallagher brothers’ legacy, this episode is packed with chaotic charm.

Abbey weighs in on why she’s team Richard Ashcroft (and not B*Witched), while Peter boldly declares Oasis the greatest band of all time (cue the chaos). The duo share their summer holiday highlights, gym struggles (bread vs. biceps), and offer up life advice to a listener whose boyfriend can’t let go of his cheating ex’s cousin.

If you’re here for banter, brutally honest relationship advice, or to just hear Pete get roasted, you’re in the right place.

⏳ 00:00 – Opening chaos

⏳ 00:33 – Welcome to the AMA

⏳ 06:45 – Oasis comeback: Pete’s hot take begins

⏳ 15:27 – Starbucks sponsor segment

⏳ 18:00 – Listener dilemma

⏳ 24:30 – The psychology of popularity (and being nice)

⏳ 27:30 – Hen do vs. stag do

⏳ 38:10 – Final listener follow-up

⏳ 42:00 – Wrap-up and goodbye from The Therapy Crouch

This episode is sponsored by Starbucks Chilled Coffee. #ad

#TheTherapyCrouch

#PeterCrouchPodcast

#AbbeyClancy

#OasisDebate

#RelationshipDilemmas

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter Crouch Declares **** the Greatest Band Ever

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