Listen and read

Step into an infinite world of stories

  • Listen and read as much as you want
  • Over 400 000+ titles
  • Bestsellers in 10+ Indian languages
  • Exclusive titles + Storytel Originals
  • Easy to cancel anytime
Subscribe now
Cover for Undead and Unreturnable

Undead and Unreturnable

28 Ratings

4

Series

4 of 12

Duration
5H 23min
Language
English
Format
Category

Romance

This is how my tombstone read: Elizabeth Anne Taylor April 25, 1974–April 25, 2004 Our sweetheart, only resting

Only, I wasn’t resting under it. I had, of course, died in the spring. Rose in the early dawn hours the day of my funeral and gone on undead walkabout. Since my body was MIA, the funeral was canceled. But my mother, who had been in a huge fight with my dad and stepmom about what to spend on my marble tombstone, had rushed to order the thing. By the time it was finished, no funeral, no service, no burial. So anyway, my tombstone had been in storage for the last six months.

After a while, the funeral home had politely contacted my mother and asked what she’d like to do with it. Since Mom had the plot and stone paid for, she had them stick it in the dirt two days ago and then mentioned it at lunch yesterday.

Jessica and Laura had been morbidly curious to see it, and I’d tagged along.

What the hell, it made for a break from wedding arrangements and Christmas cards …

So begins the newest hilarious adventure in the life of Betsy Taylor, reluctant Queen of the Vampires. It’s Christmastime in the kingdom of the undead(otherwise known as Minneapolis), which is as complicated as it sounds. Betsy isn’t going to let a little thing like death and blood-drinking stop her from enjoying the holidays or planning her upcoming spring wedding to drop-dead gorgeous vamp Eric Sinclair.

But all is not merry and bright—Betsy is plagued by ghosts who demand her help in rectifying their past mistakes, and a serial killer is on the loose. With his victims all being tall, blond women, Betsy fits the profile exactly …

With warmth, style, and laugh-out-loud humor, MaryJanice Davidson shows why readers everywhere love Betsy Taylor and have turned her adventures into a bestselling phenomenon.

“MaryJanice Davidson is a refreshing voice to both the romance and vampire world of writing … I cannot recommend her enough!”—ParaNormal Romance Reviews

© 2005 Recorded Books (Audiobook): 9781440780851

Release date

Audiobook: 26 October 2005

Others also enjoyed ...

  1. Undead and Unwed
    Undead and Unwed MaryJanice Davidson
  2. Swimming Without a Net
    Swimming Without a Net MaryJanice Davidson
  3. Nearly Departed in Deadwood
    Nearly Departed in Deadwood Ann Charles
  4. Shades of Sunshine
    Shades of Sunshine Gina LaManna
  5. Jinx And Tonic
    Jinx And Tonic Gina LaManna
  6. A Wedded Midlife
    A Wedded Midlife L.A. Boruff, Lia Davis
  7. One Tequila
    One Tequila Tricia O'Malley
  8. TimeReaping in Deadwood
    TimeReaping in Deadwood Ann Charles
  9. A Wild Fright in Deadwood
    A Wild Fright in Deadwood Ann Charles
  10. Touched
    Touched A.J. Aalto
  11. Blaze of Our Lives
    Blaze of Our Lives Robyn Peterman
  12. The Bold and the Banished
    The Bold and the Banished Robyn Peterman
  13. Midlife Hotspots
    Midlife Hotspots L.A. Boruff, Lia Davis
  14. Wrongfully Dead
    Wrongfully Dead Jordaina Sydney Robinson
  15. Counterfeit Magic
    Counterfeit Magic Kelley Armstrong
  16. Deadly Curiosities
    Deadly Curiosities Gail Z. Martin
  17. Hijinks and Hot Flashes
    Hijinks and Hot Flashes Keira Blackwood
  18. Making Midlife Mistakes
    Making Midlife Mistakes Heloise Hull
  19. Moonlight and Magic
    Moonlight and Magic Darynda Jones
  20. Chihuahua Conspiracy
    Chihuahua Conspiracy Molly Fitz
  21. Trifles and Folly: A Deadly Curiosities Collection
    Trifles and Folly: A Deadly Curiosities Collection Gail Z. Martin
  22. Spelldriver
    Spelldriver Gina LaManna
  23. Gone Haunting in Deadwood
    Gone Haunting in Deadwood Ann Charles
  24. A Secret Rage
    A Secret Rage Charlaine Harris
  25. It’s a Hell of a Midlife
    It’s a Hell of a Midlife Robyn Peterman
  26. The Edge of Evil
    The Edge of Evil Robyn Peterman
  27. Karma's a Bitch
    Karma's a Bitch Shannon Esposito
  28. Any Given Doomsday
    Any Given Doomsday Lori Handeland
  29. Detective Kate Rosetti Mystery Bundle
    Detective Kate Rosetti Mystery Bundle Gina LaManna
  30. That Hex Factor
    That Hex Factor M.J. Caan
  31. Dark Divide & Badlands Witch: A Cormac and Amelia Story
    Dark Divide & Badlands Witch: A Cormac and Amelia Story Carrie Vaughn
  32. Guiding Blight
    Guiding Blight Robyn Peterman
  33. Ellie Jordan, Ghost Trapper
    Ellie Jordan, Ghost Trapper J. L. Bryan
  34. Hardcovers, Homicide and Hairballs: A Paranormal Cozy Mystery
    Hardcovers, Homicide and Hairballs: A Paranormal Cozy Mystery Skye Sullivan
  35. Meanwhile, Back in Deadwood
    Meanwhile, Back in Deadwood Ann Charles
  36. Trouble in Summer Valley
    Trouble in Summer Valley Susan Y. Tanner
  37. Midlife & Exorcising Spirits
    Midlife & Exorcising Spirits Leona Knight
  38. Magic & Menopause
    Magic & Menopause Lisa Manifold
  39. Devil Days in Deadwood
    Devil Days in Deadwood Ann Charles
  40. Don’t Let it Snow in Deadwood
    Don’t Let it Snow in Deadwood Ann Charles
  41. Sweet and Deadly
    Sweet and Deadly Charlaine Harris
  42. Nothing To Croak About
    Nothing To Croak About Leighann Dobbs, Traci Douglass
  43. Secret of the Rose
    Secret of the Rose Ellen Dugan